Author: Tynan

  • Trogdor the Ropefish Goes Crazy

    A few months ago a friend of mine moved to Vegas. He had a really sweet fish tank that he couldn’t take with him, so he gave it to me. I got really into it, of course. The only problem was that the fish kept dying. Here’s the graveyard : 1. The cutest little red…

  • The Secrets of Buying

    I’ve long considered myself a fantastic buyer. Notice I don’t say shopper – that alludes to a hobby or form of entertainment. To me, buying is serious business. Even before I had any serious degree of financial success, many people assumed I was rich because of my material posessions. I guess most people could pull…

  • Going Raw

    I used to walk into McDonalds and often times I wouldn’t be charged for my food. Why? Because I went there so frequently and brought so many friends, that they knew I was good for business. My favorite meal was the Fishwich, a mighty sandwich made with a bun, american cheese, a deep fried fish…

  • How I Became a Famous Pickup Artist : Part 3

    This is part of an ongoing series. If you haven’t read them already, read : How I became a Famous Pickup Artist Part 1 andHow I became a Famous Pickup Artist Part 2 I wrote out this entire post before, and then the computer crashed and I lost it all, so I haven’t felt like…

  • Scariest Thing Ever

    I quickly fell asleep for my polynap and drifted off into dreamland. In my dream I was at a community college, waiting to speak to a counselor. I hadn’t put my name down on the list yet, so I was just mulling around the waiting room. I was feeling good because for some reason I…

  • Fed Up With Kevin Federline

    So… what’s the best way to get famous? Clearly, piggypacking of someone else’s career. I mean, look at how Benzino dissed Eminem to get in the spotlight a couple years ago. Kevin Federline has released an abortion of a song called “PopoZao”, which features idiotic choruses and a full twenty seconds of him actually rapping.…

  • “But I Love My Sleep!”

    Alright, rocketeers… this post is on a subject that’s near and dear to my heart. Whenever people hear about the polyphasic sleep schedule, they come up with reasons they couldn’t do it. I don’t know why… It’s really awesome and everyone should want to do it. By far the most common excuse is : “But…

  • Krunkaoke Disaster

    Terry and I went to Krunkaoke as usual, but things didn’t quite go quite right. I decided to change one of the verses to one of my own design. The plan is to slowly keep doing that until I’m just doing original songs and basically get to practice having a concert. Also exciting was Terry’s…

  • Hey Jerkface, Why Haven’t You Been Updating?

    Good question. I don’t really have a great answer, though. Last night I had nearly finished Part 3 of the pickup artist story (keep in mind every article takes me 1-2 hours to write), and then my stupid computer crashed and I lost the whole thing. The other problem is that although I was kicking…

  • Gizmodo Lenovo Contest Entry

    Hey guys… sorry about the lack of updates for a couple days. Believe it or not, I’m working on a cool little project that I want to write about. Honest. That’s my excuse. Anyway, a few days ago I saw a contest at gizmodo with a pretty sweet prize – a Lenovo (IBM) Thinkpad worth…