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I've Got My Pockets Jammed With Jeffersons (and other updates)

My friend Jonah decided that he was going to break off his long standing relationship with the more common bills and use two dollar bills as the primary fodder in his wallet. I thought it was ingenious. Here's why:

I never like copying people's quirks, but this one is too good. I told him that I wanted to copy it, but whenever anyone remarked how cool it was, I would give him credit. He agreed.

I went to the bank yesterday and as I was leaving, I remembered that I wanted to get some deuces (oh, did I mention how cool all the nicknames are for them?). They had just gotten a shipment in, so I got my hands on a freshly minted stack of 100 sequentially numbered two dollar bills. Thanks for the idea, Jonah!

Backyard 1 "The Pool"

On Wellington Street

I was on my way to interview a local resident when I noticed a man leaving his home. The fences in the area are rather short, so it wasn't hard to notice the pool in the back yard. The pool had been partially uncovered, and the edge of the tarp had dipped under the water, the chord around the edge slightly coiled on the deck. Trying to be friendly, I asked the man if he was excited to open up the pool after such a long winter, and without warning he told me to leave. I complied, but was curious what had caused such a reaction. After talking with some of his neighbors this was what I was able to determine.

About a month ago the man had begun preparing to open his pool, which he had told his friends he was quite excited to do. He had only recently come into possession of the home, having been long time friends with the previous owner. The previous owner had to move away in order to accept a new job, and so it was natural to transfer the home to his friend instead of going through the hassle of trying to sell it.

It was a weekend, and at around noon the man had begun to remove the chord that secured the edge of the tarp. He then moved to the deck and began to remove the cover. But as he went to pull it in, he found that it was snagged on the floatation device in the middle. Classically a floatation device is put in the middle to keep the tarp from dipping into the water during winter. Not wanting to enter the water to retrieve it, he instead cut the chords that held it in the middle, and after grabbing a nearby stick began to nudge it towards the edge.

After a few pokes, he felt the object resist his efforts, and a couple of seconds later it began to move on its own. Slowly, the thing in the middle began to issue forth towards the edge of the pool, eventually escaping from under the tarp. The man watched as a large mass of black tissue crawled its way towards the lip of the pool. It was oval in shape, with a short pair of legs and arms, and a stunted head, much like a tadpole. It let out a strange, thick grunt, then grabbed hold of the edge and dragged itself over, disappearing under the deck. The man immediately called animal control, but no evidence of the creatures was ever found, and since then the pool has remained as it was a month ago.

I made efforts to contact the previous owner, but was not available to comment. One of the neighbors, who reported that the mans pool water was unusually clean this year, didn't understand why he didn't just “put the nonsense behind him and go for a swim.”

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