The Mystery of the Chain


Ok. I know I put this same picture up a couple days ago – but there’s a reason. Someone STOLE my chain last night. I am incapable of taking another picture with the chain now. Here’s how the caper went down :

A friend of mine was having a birthday party. Because it was important to me that his party be cool, I lugged over my huge subwoofer, a projector, my laptop, and all the cables and stuff. I also spent a good part of my day downloading music videos. I even skipped a nap to set it up. And it should be said that I hate doing any sort of manual labor, but I carried that subwoofer up the stairs to the party. Ok, so I didn’t heal any sick children or anything, but the point is that I made a genuine effort to contribute to this party.

Incidentally, I also wore my chain, hat, and other interesting accoutrements. Of course, throughout the night, many people wanted to try on the chain. Why not? Everyone’s got a little gangsta in them, and it’s healthy to express that.

Wait… let’s get this out in the open first : there were no hot girls here. There were a couple girls who were cute, flirty, and who I genuinely enjoyed the company of. So I’m not saying I was really upset about the whole thing, but it needs to be said.

When someone asked to wear my chain, I was usually happy to oblige. The thing is really heavy and does hurt to wear. Everyone got to wear it except for one girl.

I was sitting down having a lovely conversation with a couple friends and a couple new people I met. All of a sudden, someone from behind is trying to remove my chain. Without asking. Ugly girls do crap like this ALL THE TIME (usually with the hat). Of course I bust on her for having no manners, and instead of apologizing and ASKING to wear the chain, she tugs harder and says something like “I don’t have to ask, I’m a girl”.

I look up at her and realize that she’s a beast with no manners or social grace, so I tell her point blank “Look, at this point there’s no way you’re going to get to wear the chain”. She leaves in a huff.

As the party wears on, it gets late and I’m convinced that my collar bones are bruised. Most of the party goers are gone, and I had expensive electronics sitting on the counter that weren’t getting stolen, so I felt like it would be ok for me to take off my chain. I put it in the middle of the counter.

As I finish up my last conversation for the night, I walk to the counter to retrieve my chain, and IT’S MISSING. Someone actually STOLE my chain. So let me do a little recap for you :

Tynan goes to the party and brings the music and videos
Tynan wears interesting things which lead to many nice little conversations for people
Tynan generously lets everyone but ONE GIRL wear the chain (and I’d say that I was nice and didn’t piss off at least 90% of the crowd)

Unbelievable. I looked all over the place, and there was no chain in sight. It’s not like anyone would even steal the chain to wear – NO ONE else would wear that thing. AND I had the keys at home, so if that girl thinks she’s going to chain her fridge closed or something, she’s out of luck. There is NO benefit to stealing my chain except to deliberately piss me off.

Man. I’m pissed.



  1. Bitch on the gank move! It’s the age old story that’s been told a thousand times before. You have my sympathies.

  2. Why are you skipping so many naps? It’s only 25 minutes. Two hours a night is still 14 hours a week, but zero hours a night is zero hours a week.
    Skipping the naps when you were hurrying to finish the Amazing Race application is one thing (but even those skips are dubious — stressful situations also require focus) but why skip a nap for something like this? You could’ve napped and still helped out.

  3. In that instance there was literally NO time. I’m a bit of a control freak, and I wanted to make sure that the video came out as well as it could.

    I ended up sleeping for about 2 hours in tightly spaced naps and then got back on the regular schedule which has been going perfectly since.

    I have another nap in 30 minutes and I’m not even tired. That happens sometimes too.

  4. Herbs! Love the new look! Had fun hangin on Sat at dinner and Maggie Mae’s.
    This site is hilarious! Better than your BF!! Hahaha.

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