The Upside to being Stubborn

Back when I used to help Mystery run workshops, we had a division of labor. He did most of the teaching, I did most of the organizing, and he made most of the decisions. Our program was three nights in the field: Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and two days of seminar. At one point Mystery decided that students could no longer take seminar and workshop during the same weekend. They would have to come one weekend for the seminar, and then the following for the workshop. This was great for local students, but a huge hassle for anyone traveling.

No amount of convincing would change Mystery’s mind on this. I tried, of course, explaining that the reason we had fewer and fewer students was because no one wanted to fly out two weekends in a row. He wouldn’t budge. Mystery is stubborn.

At the time this was frustrating, and even mind boggling– how could someone so smart make such a bad decision and not listen to reason?

There’s another side to being stubborn, though. When he was around twenty one, Mystery was a virgin who was bad with girls. Many young men have been in this position, and most of them never really solved their problem. But mystery was stubborn. He spent his last couple dollars every day taking a bus downtown so that he could go to nightclubs and observe the dynamics between men and women. He took notes, he pondered, he came up with theories, and he tested them.

I remember how hard it was for me to walk that path, and I had it all handed to me, courtesy of Mystery. I can’t fathom how hard it must have been to be the one blazing the trail, pushing through rejection after rejection, not even knowing if it was possible to get better. Now it’s sort of taken as a given that you can get better with women, at least in my circles, but back when he started, common sense told you that you had to make due with the cards you were dealt.

Think of how stubborn you would have to be to get through something like that. Whether you think pickup is a good thing or a bad thing, you have to admire that tenacity.

The difference between tenacity and stubbornness is slight. You could argue that if it turns out well, it’s tenacity, and if it turns out poorly, it’s stubbornness. Just a difference in connotation.

I’m a stubborn person, too. In particular, I’m really bad at taking advice. Some part of my brain always thinks I’m right, even if someone much smarter is giving me advice in their field. I don’t try to remove my stubbornness, though, because I recognize that it’s the same thing as tenacity. Instead I try to manage it, to add a filter to that “I’m right” impulse, making myself be a little more self critical. Sometimes I think I’m right but I make myself take the advice anyway.

Even with this effort, I intend to remain somewhat stubborn. I will miss out on good advice, but I’ll also stick it through when others may not have. It’s a trade off I’m willing to take.

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Didn’t like this post? Let’s try again– I have another one up at Zen Habits. When this blog is posted, Leo, eight other friends and I will be asleep at a tea farm in Japan!

Reminder– we’re doing a Japan Meetup in just a few days. Details here.

Photo was taken about 5 minutes after I emerged from the subways on my first trip to Japan eight years ago.

266 comments

  1. All that and you didn’t even mention one of the worst facets of drinking…hangovers! They’re awful, just awful.

  2. good post dude. i share the same view when it comes to smoking. why do people smoke? everyone knows the first puff is disgusting, so why keep doing it – strange.

    i personally do drink, but not to the point where i will talk like a twat and act like a prat. i enjoy a beer after work or down the pub watching football (soccer). im 22 (so legally 4 years of drinking under my belt – from the uk) and only tried my first glass of red wine a few months ago and yeah, its gross. slowly getting into a nice white wine though. but things like vodka, scotch etc i dont touch.

    But i suppose when i do tend to drink quite a bit (birthdays etc), i do act differently, not in a bad way. i begin to come care free to my actions, talking to other people, danceing etc.

  3. Word up. I agree with your reasoning 95%. While I do enjoy the taste of some wines (beer mostly just tastes like piss in varying bitternesses), and don’t remember any period of taste acquisition, after a few instances of experimentation I’m against ‘drunkenness’ as a matter of principle. I’ve only been thoroughly intoxicated a few times in my life, and now my limit is the occasional glass with dinner. Props to you for your devotion to self-control. However, I don’t think there’s any pride to be had in being ‘strong enough’ to abstain unconditionally. Curiosity is a valid reason to undergo new experiences, and it’s not a sign of weakness or a moral blemish against those who desire to understand firsthand such a widespread social activity.

  4. I will admit that I’ve been one of those drunks that babbles about the dumbest things, but since I first started drinking I’ve now come to respect the drink more. I rarely get drunk any more I mostly drink for the taste. I also never drink those cheap beers or wines (which I think are quite disgusting). I prefer to find mixed drinks that have a great taste, like my most recent discovery. Kahlua, peppermint schnapps, and milk which creates the taste of mint chip ice cream. So since that is my favorite flavor of ice cream I really like that drink, but I limit myself very well.

    I really do agree with you though, there are no good benefits to drinking that I can think of. I defiantly do in the end have an extra bit of respect for people that make the choice not to drink.

    Also I just turned 22 a few weeks back and I think I manage my alcohol intake better than a lot of people older than me.

  5. I was newer drunk in my life and I don intend to. I do drink but so little that a baby could do it, half a glass a month maybe. Why? Cos I am so much diferrent in so many ways from most people that not drinking is ussually the last inch from beeing a freak (to them) so sometimes I take a sip of something. I will newer do drugs, once i tried pot and the experience is like a living hell, worst thing that ever happend to me, there is no way on earth im doing it again.
    Tyan but you gambled, you risk your life waaaayyy to much form my taste (in the same time there is a risk free way but you are impatient to try it, like paragliding leasons).

  6. This post totally makes me judo-chop for joy! So good. This is why we are friends.OH, and because I love you. That’s kinda sorta part of it, too.

    OH, also- EGG?! nastey. 100 YEAR OLD EGG?! nastier.

    Actually I love eggs… haha, just not ‘chickensaurus of the cretaceous period’ eggs.

  7. anything is good, as long as it within the limit.

    ps : pink in comments section .. !! wonder if you really liked it ?

  8. Alcohol never tastes good initially. Taste for it develops alongside appreciation (though on a sort of unconscious level) for the effects of the drug. Namely, alcohol makes you happy. It actually does a pretty poor job of this, among the other drugs. Insofar as — I imagine — the point of all of your friends, work, social life, etc. etc., is so that you can feel happy, it makes sense that some people do drugs/alcohol. It makes them happy just like pizza and friends do.

    –someone who didn’t understand why anyone drank or did drugs a year ago

  9. I like beer more than century egg. Respect for not drinking and having solid reasons for it. So when you go to clubs, you just have water?

  10. I too dont drink, but the one time I did have something alcholic it was more bizzare than repulsive. It was grapes in this black stuff. It tasted like black olives. I stopped eating it after I found out what it was, it made me worry that I wouldn’t be able to detect what was alcholic or not.

    And I think the reason why people like is because their body develops a tollerance/addiction to it and thus before that it absolutely repulsive.

  11. Controversial!

    There’s something very wrong about ‘acquired tastes’. Taste is your body’s way of testing if something is good for you. This is a sense evolved over hundreds of thousands of years. Your body’s entire nervous system is wired into your tongue to judge if ingesting something is going to raise or lower your chances of survival.

    Alcohol, coffee, immediately spring to mind. Coffee is one that I never acquired. It took me a lot of work to like alcohol, but now I do. I wish I didn’t. I don’t like beer but a good wine is awesome.

    When you acquire a taste it is because your body chemistry becomes changed slightly by the substance. If you go through a deep cleansing or detox you will lose the taste for certain things again.

    Refined sugar is another example.

    Also meat.

    Did you ever wonder why you have to play all sorts of games with babies to get them to eat certain foods? “Here is the train going into the tunnel” etc. I used reverse psychology on my little brother by pretending to I was gonna eat his food and then waving it in front of his mouth so he stole it.

    This is why when you go raw food for long enough meat starts to taste foul. It’s just we mash up meat, pack it with sugar, and force feed it to babies until their body chemistry adapts and developes a taste for basically poison.

  12. Great post!
    As a non-PUA (though willing to learn) I am drinking a bit before/while going out. It usually works for me to be more relaxed/confident. btw: 100 year old eggs are not that bad 😉

    greetings from Kunming/China,

    bobo

  13. “I also like being one of the few who was strong enough to never give in and try it.”

    This was fine until you threw that in at the end. Recieving a false sense of superiority is one of the worst reasons to ever do/not do something. You claim to not be out to convert anyone, yet backhanded insults implying those who drink are weak somehow make me think otherweise.

    I drink in moderation simply because it can sometimes mix up everyday situations, some of it tastes good to me, and I enjoy the feeling of a light buzz. I fail to see how that makes me weaker than people who abstain. In no way am I defending people who regularly abuse alcohol, but there are many shades of gray that do not seem to be represented in the other comments.

    Despite the negative comments, you do a great job with the blog overall. I really enjoy reading it.

  14. A perhaps futile atttempt at conversion…

    Just because you don’t like beer or wine isn’t a reason to forsake other alcohols. There are a wide range of beverages out there, waiting for you to find the taste and love it.

    There are two kinds of drinking – drinking to get drunk, and drinking for pleasure. Don’t throw out one with the other.

  15. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who thinks alcohol tastes horrible. I really dig Magnus’ post. I had always sort of thought “Why should I have to aquire a taste for something?” and now I understand. On that note I also hate coffee.

  16. Speaking of acquired tastes, try RedBull some time. The stuff literally tasted like a bad perfume to me the first time I tasted it. Now, I actually like the taste…I also like the ability to party ’til 9am the next morning and not slow down… Probably really bad for me…

    Magnus, meat rocks!! I’m a caveman. Ever hear of the caveman diet? Essentially, if it wasn’t around when cavemen were the prime example of human ingenuity then don’t eat it. That means plenty of meat, grains, fruits, and veggies. No processed foods of any kind. No alcohol, etc. I’m not a caveman extremist but I try to stick pretty close to that diet.

    I’ve been skinny my whole life and when I switched over to this diet I actually started gaining weight. It helps that I’m working out as well. But I’ve tried that before too and it did nothing for me. So, after being 155 lbs most of my life, I’m 200 lbs and chicks are actually asking me “do you work out?” …very surreal for a skinny kid psyche.

    Spin

  17. I find your story interesting because I had a similar experience growing up. While there have always been drugs in the schools I went to (and my friends were often the ones who used them) I never really got into them. I’d tried pot and alcohol, and I wasn’t really impressed. Pot didn’t do anything for me and alcohol didn’t really taste very good. I’m a stickler about drinking stuff that tastes good, so I put it out of my mind.

    However, over the first few years of college my friends did fewer drugs and drank more. Not all of them drink, but enough do that it’s part of our little group. I thought of it like you do – that they were betraying this psudo-clean living vibe we had going. We used to be too good for this crap. However, I figured I couldn’t judge them without getting drunk and seeing how it was.

    So, at our new years party, I found a drink that I didn’t hate (lemonade of some alcholoc sort) and drank that. I guss I got drunk, though I don’t have much of a scale to measure it on. I ran around, did some minorly stupid stuff, laughed at dumb jokes, etc. I had a really good time. For a while, I was humbled. I had seen drinking as a stupid, even reprehensable, thing to do, but I enjoyed it as much as anyone else.

    Now I’m not so sure about the evils of alcohol. It’s true that I lost control of myself, and all the drawbacks of alcohol you list are also true. I can’t help thinking that it was fun and that I might enjoy it in spite of all the drawbacks.

  18. Amen! You have mirrored my thoughts EXACTLY on alcohol. I’ve actually lost friends over their obnoxious, atrocious social behavior resulting from imbibing too much of that poison. I’m talking… “wanting to start fights with complete strangers because I can just blame it on being drunk” kind of behavior. At the same time, we had to babysit this dude the entire night.

    And that is supposed to be fun?

    You’re 100% right about the “man, we were so wasted” stories. What could be duller? This is why I never joined a frat in college. There couldn’t be something more useless, nullifying and numbing than hanging around a bunch of guys in plaid shirts and baseball caps who like to throw up all over each other – who call their group… a frat, almost as an afterthought. One of my friends tried to get me to join one of those. No, thanks, I’d rather rape myself with a hammer.

    Your post made me realize why I don’t drink. The TASTE. It DOES taste like gasoline and rotten fruit! Couldn’t quite put my finger (or tongue) on it…

    Anyway, yes. Alcohol is just an excuse to celebrate mediocrity when it’s abused. What a nice life it is to be clean, sober, and yourself without it.

  19. Tynan, you seem like an interesting guy. Its been a slow day at work, so I amused myself by reading several of your blogs, having come across a link to the Indoor Pool story on a private BBS — one of those inner sanctum types that you note in Infiltrating Communities. You remind me of a friend of mine from college. He bought a Rolls Royce at an auction once, just because he found himself at an auction where there was a Rolls Royce to buy. He doesn’t have that kind of money, but it made for a great story.

    But enough about me, or rather what I think about you. :-).

    The drinking thing is an interesting question and its the first of your articles where I’ve seen a genuine request for feedback. That seems unusual for you, as if you aren’t comfortable with your opinion on the matter. Its also the first one that seems a bit judgmental, rather than simply offering perspective and encouragement, without condemnation. Damn, there’s some more of what I think about you. 🙂 I don’t mean to sound judgmental at all. I do wonder about why this subject is different for you.

    Back to drinking. I like drinking. I started in high school, like almost everybody. Drank like high school kids do. Most people grow out of it, drinking like that which at the time serves two purposes — to alleviate social nervousness and to appear to be older (and thus more attractive) than you are. You attacked social nervousness by investigating it directly, getting input from experts in the field. Most folks just buy a six-pack and be done with it. Your approach is probably more successful in the long-term, but an expensive in both time and money proposition. BTW, girls drink for the same reason as boys do, even the really hot ones. It just seems stupider because from a guy’s perspective, girls don’t have a good reason to be nervous or to need to appear as anything other than hot. It isn’t quite that easy for girls, I’m sorry to say.

    I still drink, but I only drink what I like. I don’t remember the last time I was nervous in a social situation, nor the last time I was particularly bored in my social life. Life is too short to spend it doing things that are annoying or boring. I’m pretty self-indulgent and drinking is one of those indulgences. I also don’t remember the last time that I was particularly drunk. I drink because I like it, not because I need it. Probably for the same reasons that you pick up girls or put swimming pools in your living room. It can be fun and enjoyable, like sex. You know the old saying… wine, women and song… and if you have to give one up, song.

  20. You cannot beat getting out of your head once in a while, on drink or whatever. Anything else smacks to me of a fascist lifestyle.

  21. I don’t drink for the same reasons as you. Tastes like crap and I don’t like the effects (dizzy, throw up, hangover).

  22. Dude rock on! I absolutely, completely agree with you 100%. As I read your post, I felt that it was me who wrote this things because that is exactly how a felt. My story is different. I came from another country. I grew up in a great pain free, happy environment. Somehow all my friends before are just “good friends”. Similar to you, we never drank and we had fun even w/o alcohol. I migrated here in the US when I was 17. OH God I was shocked! But even though I know it will be harder for me to find friends if I don’t enjoy drinking or any self-destructive behavior. I chose not too. I just believe that drinking is for superficial people. Like you, I was so disappointed when I found out that my high school friends starting drinking. I thought that they are different. I guess not. Anyways, just wanted to tell you that I’m completely happy and contented with my decision. Believe or not I feel happier inside because I choose “NOT TO” drink. By the way, I tried them too and they totally taste like crap.

  23. I agree that getting drunk is lame, but as a brewer I can say I have a great appreciation for beer. I bet I could brew a beer even you’d like.

  24. i haven’t had a drink for nearly a year, but some “friend” of mine who knows i don’t drink got a round of drinks, and i asked for a coke, but he apparently decided that i’d prefer a rum and coke. i took one sip and gave it to somebody else. i’m really pissed off at the moment. i don’t understand why non-drinkers are never respected. i really do think it’s out of some sense of insecurity on the part of the drinker.

  25. It’s a very strange thing… I’ve experienced that as well. I think your assessment is probably correct, though.

    Tynan

  26. Great story. I go to college, and my freshmen year was miserable. EVERYBODY drank, and I didnt. Soph year was better because I met my g/f who didnt drink either. It was a pretty good year. Now, this year, she all of a sudden wants to go out and drink with her friends. It really makes me mad. Ive talked to her about it, and I dont want her to, because alcohol makes you a different person, not the same person I love. Its tough, just I’m just pleased I found a great story about somebody with the same problems I’m facing. Thanks man.

  27. Actually, I’ve been in the exact situation. I broke up with Katya for roughly that reason (if you’ve read The Game, then you know who I’m talking about). Glad you liked the story!

    Tynan

  28. Well, that’s a very interesting take on alcohol. Let us not forget that Jesus’ first miracle was the transformation of water to wine. Even he enjoyed a good wine from time to time. As for the not so intelligent out come of over drinking, I guess people like to let down their guard. Not that I’m saying I haven’t been annoyed from time to time from a drunk friend, but I know that’s that point of it. Letting go and having a good time with friends. There is a time and a place of everything, even a good drink. There are many negative qualities to alcohol as well as positives, but extreme views either way are…well let’s just say, not so smart.

  29. Oh boy… here we go. First, Jesus’ supposed miracles hold no weight for me. Some day I’ll write an article on religion, but I don’t feel like getting into that at the moment.

    If you can’t let go with friends without a drink, then you need to undergo some serious self-examination. That’s exactly what I’m talking about when I say that people drink for bad reasons.

    And why aren’t extreme viewpoints good? I think they’re fantastic. They show passion and confidence. Taking the middle of the road is the easy route. What about heroin? Are there good times for that? I’m not trying to convince people not to drink… people can do whatever they want. I personally think that drinking is stupid and has no place in MY life.

    Tynan

  30. Instead of medicine what suggestions do you have for pain, infection etc..? Some things don’t heal WITHOUT medication or doctor intervention.

  31. Sometimes you absolutely need medicine. I think it’s really cool technology and amazing that we can do it, but I think it’s also extremely primitive right now. I see it as the ultimate last resort.

    For pain I deal with it. I’m not a super manly guy or anything – in fact I got my ass kicked by a girl last night. If I feel sick I stay in bed and drink fresh squeezed juice or water.

    Tynan

  32. I’m from Wisconsin and it’s practically our culture to drink alcohol. There are not to many people I know that don’t drink and it even seems odd hearing about people who don’t, unless they have had a problem with it in the past. In my city of Lacrosse we has the largest six pack, more bars on one street than any in the USA, and the largest Octoberfest in the US. So yeah in a way it kinda sucks trying to sarge in the bars here because everyone is wasted all the time. I’m now trying to go downtown sober all night and it seems like a challenge because your competing with guys who are drinking with all there worries, ego, and everything blown away. But you really get to know yourself and others a lot more when you don’t because like you said alcohol is a crutch and will never help you succeed in anything because it’s such an artificial state of mind.

  33. Thank God there is a man out there like you. I was begining to give up hope. I despise alcohol and agree with you; however, I’ve drank and been drunk….nothing good ever comes from it. I decided to give it up for good this year as well as giving up dating men who use alcohol as a crutch. This post gives me hope.

  34. First off, I have to say that i love reading your posts as i notice that we are similar to m in some ways. I drink but its so rare that i could probly say that i dont drink… i cant stand the taste of alcohol and can taste it in any drink… I have had far too many times when ppl say that you cant even taste it and i have a sip and its like choking down rubbing alcohol. nasty! I know that i have had possitive benefits from the times that i have drinken. It helped me get over my self conscieness with dancing, but honestly i think i could have done that just as easily without getting tipsy. The fact that i dont like the taste and all of my friends like to sit around and drink casually leads to situations where they think it strange that i refuse to drink 99% of the time. its strange that we have exactly the same opinion when it comes to medicine from what you have writen on the subject. Keep up the greats post and amazing stories!!

    Tynan

  35. an example of how people make alcohol and/or pot their priorities,try meeting and making friends with those that do those things.it’s not difficult unless you don’t do those things. i guarantee you,if you live in an apartment complex and meet others there(college age),you won’t be accepted as part of their group if you don’t drink or smoke pot.like in the 70’s,you;ll be considered not cool or lame or’straight’ or some other ridiculous adjective and you’ll be ostercised from the group when it comes down to being accepted as part of it. this,meaning that making friends is based primarily on whether that person drinks or does drugs.believe me,i’ve been around enough to know this for fact.i can’t count the times i’ve met people and not been accepted as part of the clan because im straight,or don’t drink.abstaining from both alcohol and drugs,to most people,means you don’t party.it just means you don’t get wasted.but generally that’s a reason to be ostercised by most college aged people(between 18-late 20’s give or take). i have no use for either alcohol or recreational drugs mostly for those reasons.people get too obsessed(maybe posessed by them)

  36. Brilliant… simply brilliant. I agree with you all the way. Alcohol has never touched my lips,(except a drop at church), I have never smoked, or done any drugs, and I try not to take pills unless completely necessary.
    It’s good that you aren’t trying to convert anyone, just stating the facts. I have tried to convert people, and often they get really defensive and don’t hear you out.
    I know how you feel about trying to find a girl that doesn’t drink. I’m having the same problem, and it is extremely hard. I’m having the same problem with friends in general. Like another guy said in the comments, if people know you don’t drink or smoke, they won’t invite you to do stuff. It sucks.

    Thanks for the article, it was encouraging.

    And for all you people having a hard time like me, keep ya head up… Things will get better.

  37. just randomly put no thanks i dont drink into google and this page came up it looked interesting.im 19 and i have a few drinks myself probably about 10% of times i go out with friends but i could definately live without it. whats the big deal?? Fair play on posting this i think alcohol consumtion is getting as free and easy as drinking water. im 19 and in my college drinking is pretty much the centre of everything and people treat it as if theyve been starved of it!its really wierd that people actually think its strange if u dont want a drink but i guess it just shows their insecurities! anyway glad i clicked on this page and found several others that share the same opinion as me!

  38. I LOVE DRINKING, you don’t know what your talking about, you haven’t experienced therefore you don’t know. Your just a loser thats scared to drink. Your only cool if you drink alcohol, my liver is already wrecked from drinking and I’m proud of it.

  39. shit story. i don’t think you are strong to not drink. stop blowing your own trumpet. so you dont drink or dont do drugs. what do you want a freaking nobel prize. give me a break

  40. That’s great! I’ll be 21 in a few days, and everyone keeps making a big deal about it, and asking me what I’ll have. My answer-ice cream, no bailey’s or whiskey or whatever people ruin it with in the name of sophistication nowadays. I’ve tried sips of good-quality wine, long island iced tea, straight vodka (worst by far. No wonder people use it as an emergency disinfectant), and beer, all under parental supervision. All of tasted, well, like alcohol, maybe with a bit of fruit in the background. None of it was appealing. I have no desire to get drunk and hungover so I’ll “know my limit”. That’s bull. Besides, after a bad reaction to anesthesia, I have a pretty good idea what it’s like. No way would I want to repeat the projectile vomiting. Kudos to you for sticking to your guns while recognizing that alcohol is not in and of itself bad. Rather, it’s the people who drink it for the wrong reasons that irritate voluntary teetotalers.

  41. Hey,
    I just want to say I’m comforted to know that there are people out there who feel exactly the same way that I do about the abusive consumption of alcohol and drugs. I’ve recently been having problems with my friends who used to refrain from drinking and now have started to do it every weekend. My girlfriend has recently become interested in both drinking socially and smoking pot, and I had no idea that it would bother me as much as it does, but that first night when she came back to the room drunk and having been puking for a few hours I was so mad I almost went insane. I’m in a tight spot because I care about these people but I really don’t like who they’re becoming and I don’t like feeling like I’m being left behind just because I don’t want to get drunk every weekend and act like an idiot. Thank you for this post. You’ve inspired me even more to stick to my guns on this one because I’m not the only one who feels this way.

  42. WHOOPDY FREAKIN’ DO!!!
    who gives a shit? half the people out there dont drink. what makes u so freakin special?

  43. man, we were so wasted last night. i racked up halfa at about 11 and then it just got more intense from there. the music was insane. the pills made it so much better and no come down either. what a great night. one of the best dj sets ive heard ever. i definately shouldnt have driven. i dont know what i was thinking. but hey you only live once so go hard or go home is my philosophy, i dont know what everyone who wasnt drinking or wasnt on drugs was doing all i know is that i was googed to the eyeballs.

  44. I think its sad how our whole culture is centered around drinking. I mean, how often do you hang out with your friends on a friday night without having to pick up some beer or a bottle of wine?? I think we have lost the skill to have fun socially without alcohol.

  45. I really know how you feel regarding finding someone else who doesn’t drink. I’m 21 and I’ve never had a sip of alcohol.

    I don’t know what it tastes like. I’ve never been to a party. I chose not to drink for many of the reasons you did; mostly because of control. I don’t like the idea that I wouldn’t be able to have control over myself and I certainly don’t like the idea of being in a place where no one else has control of themselves.

    Another reason I never had alcohol was because of what it did to everyone I know. I live in Wisconsin where the number one thing to do for entertainment is honestly drinking. I spent a lot of time through High School and college by myself but I was determined to find someone who wasn’t so saturated with drinking and partying. Guys would ask me out and I simply asked them if they liked to drink. People often thought I had a superiority complex but I just didn’t want to deal with a drinker and I also didn’t want someone in my life who would possibly push me to drink or do stupid things while under the influence of alcohol.

    I also like my body; health and sports are just a huge part of my life. As an athlete I choose not to drink to keep my competitive edge. I won’t even drink soda so I am pretty strict.

    Hang in there, though. I met the hottest guy in the world and a winter sports fanatic (we’re teaching each other a lot). You will find someone even if it takes a while. I’m glad about waiting to find him as opposed to just giving in. I remember guys actually telling me they wouldn’t date me only because I didn’t drink. It was sad for a while but I hung tough. It helps that I was never the kind of girl that was DESPERATE for a guy. I like myself and don’t need a guy to make me better.

  46. So you’ve never been drunk before? I’m a little surprised that you can hate on booze that conclusively, when you’ve never even gotten tipsy. How do you know you so certainly that you don’t want to drink – can you tell if you like steak by watching someone else eat steak?

    You’re a pretty open-minded guy… it just seems really bizarre to me that you’re so dead-set against something you’ve never even tried. Humans have been drinking for millennia… I’m not saying “why not try it because everyone else is doing it,” but if so many people from so many different cultures and time periods can all together appreciate one thing, such as a good drink, do you really think it’s fair just to write that thing off as a CRUTCH, when you haven’t even fully experienced it?

    Aren’t you the same guy who wanted to pick up smoking, get addicted to cigarettes and then quit, just so you could prove you could do it? And the same guy who was excited about the prospect of going to jail? You want to experience all these different, possibly very lame and very unfun things, but you don’t want to get a little buzz? What are you afraid of, you think getting wasted once will turn you into a lame popped-collar fratboy telling “we were so wasted” stories?

    Tynan, you are really smart and open-minded in a lot of ways. But in some situations, you’re stuck in medieval ways of thought, denouncing things you don’t understand as stupid, pointless, or… and this is the most ignorant I think… a crutch.

    I’m not saying that you have to drink, or that you have to like drinking. But I am saying that you are full of preconceived notions about the booze, and you are wholly unqualified to pass judgment on it or on those who partake.

    And there are delicious alcoholic drinks out there. They’re all really, really girly, but you seem pretty secure in your masculinity anyway… go get like a strawberry margarita somewhere, you can even have them made with fresh fruit if you go to the right place.

  47. Hey, I just found your website today because I was doing a search for professional gambling, and I just wanted to let you know that I think it’s awesome that you’ve decided not to do drugs/smoke/drink. I don’t do any of these things either, but my main reason is that I have lived with abusive alcoholics and drug addicts, both male and female, my entire life, and have also had a heart attack in my family that was completely due to smoking, not to mention the smoker’s pets having awful lung problems… and additionally I can’t stand the way that people act when they’re drunk/high, they’re just a bunch of idiots, like you’ve said. Like you said in another article, who wants to be around a bunch of fakes? They aren’t being authentic if they have to get drunk to have fun, right? Oh, and of course all of that stuff smells/looks/tastes terrible! As another poster said, sure, some fruity-alcoholic drinks look pretty tasty and might taste OK since they are drowned in sugar (I haven’t tried, am under the drinking age anyway, but don’t intend to do it anyway), but who needs the calories/hangover/general idiotic drunkenness? I’m actually pretty amazed that you don’t drink/etc, since I had an.. interesting.. impression of you from the pick-up artist articles, but I’m glad to know that there are still people out there who can make wise decisions when it comes to these things. Oh, and don’t let the other posters who drink sway you!!!

  48. I like how most of you anti drinking peeps keep saying everybody that drinks acts stupid. That’s a bullshit stereotype. I drink maybe every other week end, wether I go out or just hang with friends, I’ll get drunk. Ask me if I run around trying to pick fights with everyone, or act like an asshole. Nope.
    If you act stupid when you drink, then you’re just stupid to begin with. Also, judging people who drink by lookin at high school kids drink is ridiculous. Obivously kids in shcool will act dumb while drunk, it’s what they do.. They’re kids, and they’re drunk.

    I’ve never had anything but a good time when I drink with friends, and I don’t NEED to drink, but I do.. like you said, cause I can. I’m not saying you’re wrong for not drinking, but saying ” oh, well I saw these people act stupid, therefore everyone who drinks acts stupid” is pretty much ignorance above all else.

    basically, you have no other argument to be against drinking than the fact that you think it’s gross. A thought doesn’t change a fact : YOU think drinking is bad, but really drinking is only bad if the people who drink are stupid/iresponsible or too young. Some people might change when they drink, but that’s cause they drink too much. Rule #1 of drinking : Know your limit. If you can’t abid by that simple rule, then don’t drink.

  49. I find this, like most everything else on this site, to be self-indulgent crap. We get it. You think you are better than everyone else, mostly for having a shitty hat. Congrats.

  50. I don’t drink either. I’m an alcoholic, now sober with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, a good discipline and a healthy way of living.

    I’ve been the ugliest embodiement of what alcohol do to human mind and body, and even being drunk on some occasion (without being a pathologic drinker) is being stupid, looking ridiculous and aving impair judgement.

    I might be not really objective, but I totally approve the total abstinence of alcohol and other drugs.

  51. I enjoyed this post. I personally enjoy a coldie while relaxing in the sun or a couple beers at a party or bar. BUT I’ve had times when I’ve abused it and things went to shit. THat sucks!

    “ITS THE ABUSERS THAT RUIN IT FOR THE USERS!”

    It also sucks when your with a hot chick that pukes when your with her and you were vibing earlier. My theory is don’t chug or force it down your belly. Going to college next year things will get crazy in that department for sure but control is key. Your decisions affect your reality.

    GOOOD STUFF!

  52. Great post Tynan! I am 39 and have only drank a handful of times in my life but have never been drunk. Personally I hate the taste of alcohol of any kind, and only drank the few times to try and fit in because I was insecure. Now I have chose to never drink at all because I realize I can fit in without being a drinker. I don’t have a problem with people who drink socially and responsibly, but I hate drunks and rowdies who abuse alcohol and damage property. I went to the park yesterday and vandals had broken all the public fire pits and smashed beer bottles all over the sites with beer cans and litter everywhere. I hate those kinds of people and I just want to smash them it makes me so angry. I personally think alcohol is a terrible substance because anyone who takes that first drink can potentially go down the wrong path if it gets out of hand. I respect those who can enjoy a drink without having to get drunk, but those (most teens) who drink to excess make it look disgusting and ruin it for everyone. I too am looking for a women who does not drink and that seems to be very difficult these days. I want someone who can have fun without having to rely on an altered state of mind. Good for you and everyone else who can resist the pressures to drink, I comend you. I am tired of drinkers trying to always get me to drink also, so I rarely go out with groups anymore because I have still not found a good bunch of friends who don’t drink.

  53. I’m Russian and all my family and friends drinks so in my case, I think it’s on the gene level! All you write is true. Alcohol is a stupid thing and I know for sure that I drink only when bored or depressed! This is just weakness… when I feel bad I go out with my drinking friends and drink vodka like you don’t believe… From now I quite to drink and take my life more seriously.

  54. Wow, I am not alone. I dont drink, smoke, or do drugs. Not only are the bad for you for all the reasons that you mention, but on a more vain level, they all make you look/smell like *ish. They all cause premature aging!!! I need some more friends that dont drink, where do you find them? lol And as hard as it is to find a girl that dosent drink, finding a guy that dosent is 10X harder. 🙂

  55. To quote M.Wehr’s post above me..

    … “I’ve recently been having problems with my friends who used to refrain from drinking and now have started to do it every weekend. My girlfriend has recently become interested in both drinking socially and smoking pot, and I had no idea that it would bother me as much as it does, but that first night when she came back to the room drunk and having been puking for a few hours I was so mad I almost went insane. I’m in a tight spot because I care about these people but I really don’t like who they’re becoming and I don’t like feeling like I’m being left behind just because I don’t want to get drunk every weekend and act like an idiot. Thank you for this post. You’ve inspired me even more to stick to my guns on this one because I’m not the only one who feels this way.” …

    That is my life, EXACTLY, down to the smallest little detail.

    I’ve just recently turned 20 and still to this day have not had one sip of alcohol in my entire life. I don’t flaunt it around as a positive thing to everyone I see, but do have to deal with the consequences of choosing to live as I do. And, as explained in Wehr’s post, it can be a very, VERY stressful and difficult thing to go through sometimes. I’ve actually grown to a point where I live in fear of alcohol, and have cut myself off from all those who I used to care about, and keep myself out of situations where I’m around it, can smell it, see people doing it, etc. It really limits you sometimes.

    And it’d be real simple to just say… “If it limits you, why not give in?” That would be really nice if it worked that way. However, I’m never more miserable than when I have to put myself in a situation like that. No matter if I drink or not, I will NEVER be happy around it. And that’s just me.

    I can deal with my friends drinking as long as I don’t have to see them do it. Maybe because I really deep down don’t care about the decisions they make. Maybe because I really don’t care about them as much as I think.

    But my girlfriend who I loved more than anything for almost 3 years? To tell me she ‘doesn’t drink’ and would ‘never drink’ for years, then one night become a stereotypical college girl who gets wasted every Tues, Thurs, Fri, and now uses a fake ID to get into bars, clubs, buy alcohol, etc for the past six months….. I can’t deal with it. I can’t. And it’s been rough. The past year or so has been very hard… And it just. Sucks.

    I haven’t read more than a few articles here, but I felt it necessary to thank you Tynan, and others, for giving me much needed hope for the future to come.

  56. This post has pushed me further into reassessing my own drinking habits, Tynan – THANKS!

    What M.Wehr and Mike said about being stuck as the nondrinker is very true.

    When I was Mike’s age I was too concerned with losing control like I saw so many friends doing. It got to the point where I would feel nauseated if I spent time with my friends when they were drinking. So, I would bail early in the evenings on that group of friends and go dancing or out for live music instead. I got comfortable going places by myself and making new friends when I got there.

    Over the years I saw a fair number of my abstaining friends seem to jump on the booze and drugs bandwagon. Sometimes it really hurt, like in doing this they were rejecting me personally.

    In my 30’s I decided I knew myself well enough to experiment. Alcohol is an acquired taste, as is tobacco or any other drug. Experience has taught me how to enjoy myself and others with or without the so-called social lubricants. Now that I live in another country – the Czech Republic – where the cultural attitude toward drinking is radically different from what I saw growing up, I’ve tended to enjoy beer almost daily.

    And I think I’ll give the beer drinking a bit of a rest now, as a nice experiment.

    Mike, stick to your guns so long as it serves you best.

  57. Haha wow, I just randomly came across this page and it’s pretty funny. Not the fact that you don’t drink but because your opinion on drinking and doing drugs is litteraly the exact same as mine. Every line you wrote I could have seen.
    I enjoy being in control of my life…I don’t want to drink and stumble around like a retard. I look constantly look forward in my future and want to be successful. I would like to say im straight edge, but who knows what will happen. But I’m very confident that i will stay clean. And yes! it is hard to find a girl who doesn’t drink.

  58. Coming from a guy who used to drink, religiously, some of the comments on here from drinkers are ridiculous! I drank because it gave me a false sense of security and it seemed like the only way to have a good time. It made me more outgoing. It was a world much different then my sober state.

    The first sip of alcohol was always something that I never looked forward to, but after stomaching a few more sips and catching a slight buzz it didn’t taste that bad. A few more drinks and I was completely waisted. I craved the taste of alcohol. A few more and I was passed out, gurgling alcohol in my sleep. I’d repeat this cycle every time I drank.

    Yeah, I acted like a moron most of the time and did a lot of things that I regret to this day while I was completely intoxicated, but I felt like I was nobody without it. A complete loner.

    I think that kind of defends alcohol to a point. So, now onto why I quit drinking. Unlike Tynan, I was never a health freak. I could have cared less if it tore apart my liver and kidneys.

    As much as I hated the taste of alcohol, that didn’t really bother me. I knew that if I drank more the taste would later be alright, if not pleasurable.

    It made me act like an idiot, but I liked that.

    I could tell you about the horror story that was caused by large amounts of alcohol and total loss of self-control, but that wasn’t even the reason that I quit drinking. In fact, that made me want to drink more to forget that it ever happened.

    The reason why I quit drinking was a lot more simple then one would believe. The more I drank, the less I was able to stomach alcohol. I was tired of throwing up and waking up with hangovers. That feeling of slight dizziness, migraines that would only worsen with the slightest noise and a sick feeling in the stomach. None the less, the running to the bathroom every five seconds to take a 90 second piss.

    It became apparent to me that I was waisting my time drinking. I drank to make myself feel better. To have a good time and I’m not going to lie. I had some great times under the influence, but I’d feel horrible the next morning. If not for the sick feeling, then for the regretful things that I’d done the night before.

    The benefit of alcohol is that you lose all self control without any instant regrets. The problem with alcohol is that you lose all self control without any instant regrets.

    Even the feeling of being completely waisted is something that I can’t stand the thought of anymore. The feeling that everything around me is spinning around in circles and being afraid to stand up, because I’m afraid that I’ll fall over… To name a few things.

    Of course, staying sober has its negatives. Living in a small town in Wisconsin, the main social gatherings are bars. It’s impossible to go into a bar, stay sober and fit right in. It’s impossible to speak to a drunk when you’re sober and even more impossible to have a good time with a drunk when you’re sober.

  59. Ok finally an article where I disagree with you. I too am a high off life type..very focused and never distracted. I have an appreciation for fine wine…but never had to acquire an taste for it…if your getting your wine from 7-11 however…well you get what you pay for. Why is alcohol so deep in our culture? Maybe because there was a time when beer was all we had to drink because they water wasn’t safe to drink (when the early settlers arrived) I know it is hard for non drinkers to understand that there are people out there that actually like the taste…hey ty there’s an idea even too extreme for you. I drink wine more as a sport…you actualy teach you tastebuds to recognize the subtle differences…Just to clear it up for you, wine is harmless to your body…it isn’t processed and is natural. Unless your liver was already severely damaged and you were hanging on by a string. The amount of wine your would have to drink at a time to damage your organs is insane (even excessive amounts of water will kill you). The only liquids that touch my palette are fine wines, fresh squezzed (or centrifuged) juice, I also drink fine waters as a sport, and black coffee…I do not drink for any other psycho reasons or to be cool and esp not to get drunk….so it’s not either or…I can’t stand smokers (of any kind) agree about meds because they actually make your body more weak. I also eat a raw diet and keep a very clean healthy active lifestyle. But to believe that all who don’t completely abstain from alcohol is doing so for a trivial and seemingly distructive reasons is frankly misguided, grossly stereotypical, an outright insulting. Can’t wait to read your post on religion that should be interesting to say the least.
    -ACT

  60. YES!

    Hating the taste (actually smell, because I’ve never tasted it), viewing it as a crutch, and always wanting to be in control…perfect.

    “I don’t need or want the things it offers. I’m already secure, inhibition-free, happy, unstressed, and have enough great friends to prevent me from being lonely or bored. What could I possibly gain?”

    This is more or less verbatim what I tell people when they ask me why I don’t drink.

    I don’t know if its just where I am from or what, but almost everybody I know drinks and cannot seem to “have fun” without it.

    Have you ever had people try to justify to you why they do drink? Actually, I see it all over the comments…I am always fascinated by their logic.

    My thought it always, “If you honestly feel it improves the quality of your life and you don’t hurt anyone :shrug: but honestly, can’t you think of something better”?

  61. Tynan~ Never commented on your blog before, but read it fairly often.

    Very interesting comments on this post. I drink, and respect that you don’t. I have friends who drink and friends who do not.

    I respect all of them equally.

    I smoke, too, for that matter, and have friends who do and friends who don’t.

    I don’t request that anyone ever explain to me why they choose not to drink, just as I don’t feel the need to explain to anyone why I do.

    I eat green beans.

    I’ve never explained to anyone why, and I’ve never asked anyone why they eat them, or don’t.

    It’s a “non issue” in my mind. I think it’s valid that you want to find a woman who is like minded and I don’t see the harm in that, although, I know through many years of life that we don’t pick who we love, and that none of that really matters in the end.

    It doesn’t sound like you have a problem with someone who chooses to drink, just years of bad experiences in putting up with some of the negative results of alcohol consumption.

    In all seriousness, having friends that abuse/use the opposite sex, curse profusely, or are just general assholes, is equally as much a pain in the ass.

    I’m not saying you are any of those things, just that singling out drinking alcohol as something that makes someone obnoxious is not entirely accurate.

    Lots of things make you obnoxious and aren’t particularly healthy. I can’t really imagine that being a “self-proclaimed pick-up artist” couldn’t be on that list. 🙂

    Just my thoughts, but who knows, maybe none of it makes since…..I have been drinking. Cheers back atcha!

  62. Tynan~ Never commented on your blog before, but read it fairly often.

    Very interesting comments on this post. I drink, and respect that you don’t. I have friends who drink and friends who do not.

    I respect all of them equally.

    I smoke, too, for that matter, and have friends who do and friends who don’t.

    I don’t request that anyone ever explain to me why they choose not to drink, just as I don’t feel the need to explain to anyone why I do.

    I eat green beans.

    I’ve never explained to anyone why, and I’ve never asked anyone why they eat them, or don’t.

    It’s a “non issue” in my mind. I think it’s valid that you want to find a woman who is like minded and I don’t see the harm in that, although, I know through many years of life that we don’t pick who we love, and that none of that really matters in the end.

    It doesn’t sound like you have a problem with someone who chooses to drink, just years of bad experiences in putting up with some of the negative results of alcohol consumption.

    In all seriousness, having friends that abuse/use the opposite sex, curse profusely, or are just general assholes, is equally as much a pain in the ass.

    I’m not saying you are any of those things, just that singling out drinking alcohol as something that makes someone obnoxious is not entirely accurate.

    Lots of things make you obnoxious and aren’t particularly healthy. I can’t really imagine that being a “self-proclaimed pick-up artist” couldn’t be on that list. 🙂

    Just my thoughts, but who knows, maybe none of it makes sense…..I have been drinking. Cheers back atcha!

  63. I, personally, do not like to get drunk. I like to be in control of myself and to know what I’m doing and saying.

    I was once at a party where 13-15 year olds were making out with everyone in the room and falling down. My boyfriend and I just sat there and watched. I had one bottle of 5% beer. ‘Twas all I like to have. Sometimes, I’ll feel crazy and have two.

    And wine is gross. I find it tastes like ass and fart. Not knowing what ass and fart taste like, I can’t really say why I give it that exact taste. But I do.
    On my island where I live, the biggest thing people do with their lives is sit around expecting welfare and drinking. Sometimes, they’ll lose their power because they spent their payment money on booze.

    It’s shameful.

    I think the only kind of alcohol I have ever been able to stand is a bit of beer at a time and rum. Vodka burns my throat. And I only like rum in slushy margaritas.

    I don’t really have anything against people who love to drink. I just won’t be around them when they’re drunk. If it means shutting myself in a room for a few hours until they’re gone, then I’ll do it. I’m not comfortable around drunks at all.

  64. I wish I could have been like you!! When I was twelve, I had my first sip of alcohol and the addiction began! This lead to ciggies and more alcohol, herbs, and than the hard drugs and than depression! Alcohol addiction is a disease and I am grateful for everyone who isnt cursed with this disease, like yourself! Twenty years later, after almost destroying my brain and every loving relationship I was ever in because of my addiction to alcohol and drugs I finally became sober and alot happier! It is, as you said, still very hard to find people who dont drink, but I know when I find someone who I can love who is addiction free, I will also be free! Its good to see there are people out there, besides people in AA, who dont drink!!

  65. Hey man, congrats. I started drinking in college, and to be honest I thought the same thing as you for a long time. To me, drinking is a way socializing. Granted, I’m fully aware I’m destroying my liver at the same time. Unfortunately in my line of work I feel it would be very difficult not to drink and still earn the respect of my boss and those above me (as pathetic as that may sound). Alcohol to me can be delicious (such as a glass of nice wine, or a well made cocktail), although often it is that excellent taste that causes me to drink too much. When I first started college I would literally puke at the smell of beer for no other reason than it disgusted me. Now others might refer to me as a beer connoisseur.

    I couldn’t honestly say I would be happier without it. It has lead to the best relationships of my life (which are not alcohol dependent) for the simple reason that I was more willing to put myself out in an otherwise uncomfortable or unfamiliar situation. I suppose that was what prompted me to become an alcohol educator. In many ways alcohol can be very useful, while at the same time it can be deadly. Learning to control yourself and use in moderation is the only possible way that alcohol can be beneficial.

    I suppose at the end of my terribly written flow of thoughts, I can only say props. Please keep it up, and congratulations. I hope you have a wonderful life.

  66. Drinking can make the most boring situation awsome If you are with the correct company. Perhaps you’d have scored that first kiss a bit quicker if you where on the gas with lower inhibition big boy.

    J

  67. I started drinking when i was 15, for about a year and a half, at the same time i was smoking aswell(weed and other sorts). In the period of about a week i realised that i didnt like any of it and that i never made the decision to start drinking or smoking, it just slowly happned, and i havnt drank or smoked since then. And i started eating as healthy as i could, no diet, just eating good quality food. im 21 now at uni, everyone here drinks and alot of them smoke, i dont feel any temptation at all by it, but its just sadening to see so many people waste so much time/money with alchahol. At least a couple of times a month someone who knows i dont drink tries to offer me a drink. I’ve being trying to undestand this for years. I think people get anxious when they are around someone who is happy and confident with there natural state of mind, and that themselfs need someing additional to enjoy an experience. So they try and bring you to there level so they dont feel so anxious.

    One thing i find hard is explaining to people ive just met(maybe a girl) why i dont drink, without feeling like im attacking them because they drink. Does anyone else get this?

    Loved the article, Adam

  68. “the “man, we were so wasted…” stories. There is no good story that begins that way.”

    LOL that is SO true! I always hate it when someone starts one of those!

  69. I drink alcohol because it tastes good. I only drink beer and Jagermeister. They are both delicious and this is why I drink them. I like to be a little drunk, but I agree, losing control is a very humiliating thing. Feeling a little funny sometimes can be enjoyable, but hey, that’s my opinion.
    ALSO: on the topic of medicines. I don’t take anything for pain either. Or for colds or coughs or anything of the sort. The only medical help I accept is in the form of antibiotics and other things that ignore the symptoms and fix the problems. Anything else is just ignoring the sickness.
    Your ideas here are excellent, and I agree with them. All those reasons to drink are idiotic.

  70. Basically the dudes that have to defend drinking to the death are the ones that usually got the biggest ass issues with it from the get go. If you’re a real drinker, you don’t give a fuck if someone else does or doesn’t.

  71. Perhaps it was the rather strong position this guy took on those who drink that spurred some of the drinkers to respond as they did. You’re article seems very judgmental to me; it seems that “hip” kids or straightedge kids or whatever scene you might come from that does not value drinking in anyway are as judgmental and closed minded as many of the “drunken frat boys” so often referenced, even here.

    To each his own, it takes all kinds to make the world go around and to assume that most people drink out of insecurity or boredom is not a very well thought out assumption. If I went around basing thoughts and opinions using anecdotal evidence from high school and college life would be rather ridiculous.

    Good for you for not wanting to drink. Good for me for enjoying cold beer.

    Have a good one.

  72. I partially agree with you. I never understood why people smoke, but when it comes to drinking I do it on occasion. For me, I’m not insecure, depressed, anything like that. I never drink by myself. Drinking is moreso a social thing for me. I love the atmosphere of a bar or a cocnert(espically here in Austin), being around great music and a ton of people — most of which are drinking themselves. Usually I stick to just beer. I’ll admit I acquired the taste and it’s kind of fun to try different and new beers. The effect of alcohol on me is that it makes me more social. Being a generally shy guy when I first get to know someone, I find that I can much more easily talk to anyone after a few beers. I’m not saying however, that I can’t without. Nor am I saying that it makes the night more or less fun. It’s just something to do. It’s when people overdo it, do it for the wrong reasons, or make an ass out of themselves when I see it becoming an issue.

    Regarding smoking, I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life. It’s never appealed to me and doesn’t do anything for me. I often try to analyze why some of my friends smoke — I think it’s mostly due to insecurity, but also because of the social aspect. However, inhaling smoke into your lungs seems FAR more dangerous to me than having a little alcohol in a beer. Pot smoking I see as less bad, and it does give you more of an effect, but I’m usually just happy sticking to beer for an effect. Plus it’s easy to learn your limits with beer.

    Anyway, in summary, I don’t think that drinking is so bad as long as it’s not overdone. It’s merely a social thing, much like any other harmless thing you would do in a social situation where it is present.

  73. hey

    I don’t drink and neither do my closest friends. My boyfriend went to grad school and picked up the habit. Actually its strange coz he always orders but never finishes his drink. But he took up smoking heavily. At first I was hurt, then raging mad and now I have given up. One reason I feel in love with him was the fact that he was strong enough not to use any substance! But I guess that was to change …. thanks for sharing your post! it was a good read.

  74. Wow, it’s like you extracted my thoughts and published them on the internet for the world to read. I am just amazed to know that I am not the only one who feels the same way about drinking. Serving in the military as a 22 year old male who DOES NOT DRINK has made me a social outcast, and I have grown rather tired of the situation. I am getting out soon, and going to college. Hopefully I will be around people that have more to live for than drinking, smoking, and partying.

  75. Tynan, really, who cares? Personally, I don’t get this post. You write, “I’ve never had a drink in my life,” and then go on to describe sampling a few — Riesling, red wine, vodka — all of which tasted foul to you. You either never have had a drink in your life, or you have.

    Then you end writing how strong you were never to give in and try it….yet you did!

    It’s cool that you don’t drink, it’s your business (though you’re hardly the first to do so based at least in part on the fact that you don’t think booze tastes good — I mean, who indulges in anything they think tastes bad). I just don’t know why you need to go on for 1,500 words about it. It’s like you’re trying to convince yourself you made the right call, and need other teetotalers out there to somehow validate your choice. If you’re so secure, you wouldn’t need to write a post like this.

  76. One of my good buddies just started smoking a lot of pot, more than when we first met. It’s like he’s lost a lot of interest in things we used to do. He’s smarter and wittier when he’s not smoking, and recognizes it. Used to be a killer pickup artist, and now hasn’t honestly pursued a chick in months. Very disappointing.

  77. Some medicines can save your life! My husband has a heart transplant due to a birth defect. Without modern medicine he would have been gone along time ago.

    Know your body and manage your own care with your doctor. That’s what makes sense.

  78. wow! i love this. right now im so confused and frustrated. i cant seem to find any one who doesnt drink and if they dont they do some kind of drug. i feel so outta place. but its nice to here that it does exist. and ur completely right why people drink and i think thats awesome that ur fortunate enough to have been surrounded by good people and i respect u i wish i could find more people that i respect. i will!

  79. I don’t get hangovers, but I like to get very drunk, and about 6 to 17 hours after my last drink I am in a very chilled, happy mood, and I think thoughts that I never think in any other situation.
    Also, a little booze increases your ability to speak a foreign language. Try it in your Arabic exam.

  80. I find this incredibly condescending. You assume a lot about people and you’re incredibly smarmy and judgmental. I’d love to discuss the merits of drugs in society with you. Blogging is so inane.

    If you’re so anti drugs; go burn all your CDs right now. That is, if you listen to decent music.

    I’ve done a lot of drugs and I drank a lot. I’ve been in bands since I was a kid and I’m a working artist in a few other mediums.

    I’ve calmed down a lot since I was a teenager but when I was first starting to take drugs, I did a lot of research to find out how to do it properly and how those drugs would affect me long-term. I’ve never mainlined but that was my only real no-go.

    Throughout history societies have used various substances in order to alter their state of being. The brain is an amazing machine. You treat yours in direct contrast to your apparent philosophy of ‘life outside the box’.

    The only thing wrong with drugs in society is that two of the very worst are taxed by government and therefore legal and easily obtainable. Cigarettes and Alcohol are certainly the worst.

    “I have done lot of drugs and I had a really good time. Laughed my ass off and went about my day.”

    – Bill Hicks

  81. Why I do drink.

    I’ve seen the malicious effects of alcohol, yes. There is some very dangerous and very threathening elements in alcohol. Those are able to alter your personality. Some people are weaker and more prone to be “taken” by these elements. It’s about control. The more you feel your power over yourself, the more you have control, the more you are able to temporarily let go of that control.

    I do also appreciate the fine taste of wine.

  82. Tynan~ Never commented on your blog before, but read it fairly often.

    Very interesting comments on this post. I drink, and respect that you don’t. I have friends who drink and friends who do not.

    I respect all of them equally.

    But I dont think so that beer is harmful for the body. You may amused to hear that but I’ve it to remain healthy & active. I take it twice or thrice in a month (or more times) & I don’t consider it as a bad habit or something u had said about that. But as far as ur view is considered it might be right for ur way of living.

  83. I really enjoyed this post.

    I’m a non-drinker and have been so for several years. I’m not an alcoholic but made the decision to stop drinking entirely (not even a sip here or there) after I realized the connection between my migraines and alcohol.

    Life since has been so much better. I never have to worry about hangovers, I never have to worry about drinking and driving and I never have to worry about doing something stupid.

    And, like you, I never liked the taste. I faked it throughout college when I drank but I always thought it tasted horrible. And, like you, so many friends have tried to get me to like wine! They can’t believe I just don’t like how it tastes.

    Anyways, great post!

  84. I live healthily, drink plenty of water and exercise when I can, but I also suffer from depression. I’ve never been big on alcohol but I do enjoy an interesting cocktail now and then when I am having a good day (never, never when I am down).

    I agree with your experiences of taste – I find ‘classic’ spirits bland and horrid, beer is only appealing in batter and sauvignon blanc is the only wine I’ve ever enjoyed.

    Not that any of this matters, but I was wondering if you are a coffee drinker? Together with drugs and smoking, that is something else I do not touch.

  85. These comments need more dissent.

    I have to agree with Jeff (May 15) about deceiving yourself that you’ve “never drank” – because you did taste wine, a mimosa, etc.

    And many things don’t taste good at first. It doesn’t mean anything. Hello, vegetables?

    Do you really want to be around someone who has to self-actualize every moment of every day? What a smug bore. Alcohol, coffee, cigarettes are just cheap thrills that add some variety to life. Scotch whisky, Cognac brandy, German wheat beer, French wine and Belgian ale are all unique indulgences with rich histories and exciting variety.

    Teetotalers are viewed skeptically because it looks like they have something to hide. As if they’re trying very hard to keep up a façade, which would fracture and accidentally reveal their true self and how they really feel about others.

    You define yourself by your “life outside the box”, which means you’re focusing on how you are different from the rest of humanity. This is why your postings appear smug. (Personal blogs are self-indulgent to begin with.) Why not focus on how you are similar?

  86. okay well im 14 years old, and i already know i wont drink. when im 21 i might have a drink now and then but i have no desire for it now. i hear all my friends talking about how “that party was crazy” “i was so drunk, please dont tell anyone” “i didnt mean to do it” and it just annoys me. i hate when people drink, and then act like theyre the victums.

    new years eve, we bought some kid wine. not real wine at all. but my sister thought she would slip some vodka in the bottle. she was trashed. i had to take care of my sister that night. she threw up right next to me. she actually forgot how to use the bathroom. she was laughing one minute, crying the next. she drank about 1/2-3/4 that vodka bottle. i tried stopping her, but she would run to the cabnet when i wasnt looking.

    after i told her the next day, all the crazy things she did, she laughed. and she wanted to do it again. not right away, but she wanted to. so not so long ago, she went to this one place where people hangout. my old friend, brought a water bottle full of vodka with. my sister took a few sips, and when we got home, she wanted more. then she was drinking and decided she wanted to call her best guy friend. the guy she could tell almost anything to. they were talking on the phone and then they snuck out and met eachother. i went to bed cuz i was too pissed off..

    the next morning, my sister came to me crying. she said that he had taken advantage of her. he cheated on his girlfriend and used my sister.

    my sister and i are only 14. i know it was my sisters fault, but im just saying this is why im staying away from drinking. i hate drugs too, never doing them. they’ll change you for life.

  87. Why do you think you would become an alcoholic if you started to drink? I drink for more than 10 years. It happens 2-4 times a months. I never drink alone. Usually, I go out with my friends and then I drink. Sometimes I drive to parties so I cannot drink obviously. What I can say. You are right. Drunk people behave differently, not in a bad way though (I am talking about my friends here). When you are sober among drunk friens it is OK, but you kind of fall out of the company in some way. So I usually drive when I do not want to drink. Otherwise I do not see why I cannot drink and have fun with others.
    By the way I do not smoke. This is absolutely useless and harmful to the people around.

  88. I don’t drink unless I’m with friends, and even so I moderate it. I’ll usually have a couple of beers, maybe a shot or two max and that’s about it. I don’t need to get drunk to have a good time. I suppose I could do with a buzz, nothing wrong with that. But getting drunk is just not a smart thing to do, especially when out on the town. With JUST friends, it’s slighlty more justified, but I still wouldn’t.

    Plus, I seem to have a bit of a natural high/drunkenness to me anyways, so I don’t particularly need to get drunk to have fun. The only problem is is that you can’t really have fun when people are drunk and you are sober – if buzzed, you can pull it off.

  89. really good post. i’ve had to stop drinking for a couple months due to stomach issues and it’s changed the way i view drinking now. now i look into why i want to drink when i get the urge, and often, like you said, it’s not for a good reason.

    just a comment: you mention a couple of times in this blog that you’ve never had a drink in your life, almost as though it’s a source of pride, however you HAVE tried alcohol, so that’s not really accurate…

  90. Tynan, I’m bummed we didn’t get to hang out while you were in LA. But if you need a travel buddy at any location, I’m all set to come. Just email me.

    BTW, I didn’t drink for 27-years, and I do now. I can say that all it takes it a remote bit of self-discipline and alcohol doesn’t control your actions. I think it’s an excuse most of the time for bad behaviour.

    Whenever I’m “tipsy” I can always refocus (if I need to), step outside the influence and concentrate on my actions and thoughts because I’ve been disciplined for so many years. (Used to be Mormon).

    That doesn’t justify drink driving or anything else e.g. “I can handle it”. That is a responsibility that you work out before hand with others.

  91. Good to see some fellow teetotalers on teh interwebs; down here in Australia drinking and socialising are pretty much inseparable. I think what really should be asked is, rather than “why shouldn’t one drink”: “why should one drink.” If there’s no deficiency in happiness, or unnecessary inhibition, then drinking really offers no benefit. If a person, however, is suboptimally happy or excessively inhabited, then by taking a close look at themselves and addressing these issues (such as is suggested in Tynan’s excellent post on ‘How to be happy. Always’) they’ll achieved a level of happiness and self-release ultimately much greater than the ephemeral stimulus gained from alcohol. However, if one is drinking solely for the taste, and never drinks to the point that their mental state is affected, I really can’t see any problem with that. Also, for those having to deal with people who feel obligated to try and get them drunk, one potential solution is to hit the kitchen, hit the iron, put on some weight and learn how to look severe, tends to drastically reduce the amount of unsolicited advice of any nature. (Just don’t piss off anyone bigger than yourself :p)

  92. Ey man, if you want to understand drinkers you should read Allan Carrs book ‘easyway to control alcohol’.

    Its actually a book to quit drinking altogether and become a ex-alcoholic.

    He carefully breaks down the alcohol trap 90% of the population falls in. His philosophy is; give people the understanding that there is no advantage to alcohol and TONS of disadvantages removing there desire to drink.

    You can probably skip big parts of the book. Personally after I read it, I had my last drink and will never drink again. Thats how well he gets the issue and breaks it down.

  93. I agree completely with this article. I hate the taste of alcohol completely. People are always like “your tastes will change” and they never do. Also, throwing up all over the place is NOT fun. Neither is waking up with no idea what you did the previous night.

  94. Great post!

    Here in Finland, socializing and drinking go hand in hand, just like in many other parts of the world I guess (for example, as Jonathan mentioned about Australia a few comments above). If you don’t drink, you’ll have to explain why. It’s pretty sad, really – shouldn’t it be the other way around? If someone has to explain their drinking preferences, shouldn’t it be the one who chooses to poison themselves with alcohol?

    That being said, I do enjoy alcohol. I genuinely enjoy the taste of wine, cognac, whisky (good quality whisky only, the cheap ones taste absolutely foul), some dry ciders, and certain beers. To be honest, I also enjoy the slight buzz and relaxed feeling I get from a couple of drinks. I realize this is an acquired taste, just like coffee (another absurd thing to drink if you think about it), and for the life of me, I can’t remember when, why, and how I taught myself to like certain alcoholic drinks.

    I began drinking in college and certainly had my share of those drunken stupidities. In my early 20’s, I drank too much too often and did many things I regret. I learned from those mistakes, however, and these days I drink socially or for the taste, and never drink to the point I lose control of myself, have poor judgement, or lose my memory. And hangovers? Totally not getting them. They suck.

    Used this way, I think alcohol can be very enjoyable. But it’s certainly not a necessary part of life. Alcohol is a hard drug! Yeah, it’s legal, but it’s actually way more harmful than some illegal drugs. Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s safe in any way.

  95. People who believe they can control their drinking are fooling themselves. If you drink, the time will come when you are going to get drunk. It’s a fact of life. So you are very smart to not even try the stuff.
    It will make you just like everyone else that drinks, The day would come when you had too much and you would be one of those obnoxious people you can’t stand to be around. Don’t even try it. There is NO GOOD REASON to drink. NONE!

  96. I agree with your post. But one thing I noticed and with some comments.

    Taking a sip isn’t trying it!

    If you want to understand why people drink or smoke, you are going to have to get drunk or high!

    Good post though, not drinking is definitely better for your health than drinking. But people who take a sip and go “gawd I don’t know why people drink”, well, that is because you didn’t drink :/

    Just thought I would point out to people who have “taken a sip” or “whif of smoke” but didn’t get high or drunk, you tasted it. You didn’t try out the effects!

    People like the taste of alcohol and smell of pot because those things are now associated with the EXPERIENCE that they bring.

    I’m not advocating trying it, just saying if you want to understand it you need to experience it :). Then step back, choose not to drink, but accept those that do and understand why instead of being condescending 😀

  97. Great post! Coming from a home where alcoholism was a problem, I never really was a serious drinker and, now, haven’t had a drink for many years. When I ask people why they drink they answer it is because a) it is a social lubricant b) it relaxes them. My question to them is then what is going on in your life that you can’t socialize or relax without a drink.

    I disagree, somewhat, with your wording that drinking/medicating cures the symptoms … I would say that it masks the symptoms, something like a bandaid on an open sore, but it doesn’t heal the underlying problem – why the sore is there in the first place.

  98. Your a soulless fraud. I cannot wait for the day that you and all others like you pass from existence. In your quest for money… and nothing but money, you have proven your total ignorance. You have a holier than thou attitude that is fucking sick. You of all people should be extolling the virtues of alcohol as the only reason that people would even consider looking at your ugly ass hobbit/goblin body without clothes on.

  99. I don’t agree that no good story starts with “We were so wasted…”. Man I have some CRAZY random shit that’s happened when wasted. Stuff you wouldn’t believe. Drinking much less since I discovered PUA though and these days I find having more than 3 or 4 drinks is actually an obsticle, whereas my tactic previously was to get hilariously drunk and see what the drunk version of myself could pull off.

  100. Wow, you’re like the male version of me. I agree on every aspect of your blog, especially when you mentioned
    “I also like being one of the few who was strong enough to never give in and try it”

    I myself, have never had a drop of alcohol,very much so because of this reason. Couple years down the road how many people out there can say they don’t drink, let alone never even tried it.
    I also like the part where you mentioned “I don’t need or want the things it offers. I’m already secure, inhibition-free, happy, unstressed…”

    That’s so unbelievable refreshing to hear, most people drink to loosen up, or have fun or whatever right? I personally think that’s sad, I mean i have fun everytime i go out, and i dont have to be drunk or have drinks to do so, I don’t need the alcohol as a crutch, I’m good all on my own, and i love that fact.

    I’m glad there’s people out there that share my same sentiments. I’d love it if you could reply to my comment and we could talk or whatever.

    Bye. =)

  101. Man get off your high horse and enjoy what little time we have on this planet.

    a drink now and then never hurt anyone.

  102. I loved your post. I have not met many people who can proudly say-“I don’t drink”. I have always taken pride in myself for being able to enjoy, and be happy without drinking at all. I agree that most people drink for a reason. I do not drink and enjoy life and am lucky to have lots of friends. I disagree with people who say-‘oh, a little bit of wine doesn’t do anything’, well then why drink-it definitely does ‘something’-it is used as a crutch as you mentioned. I grew up in a family where drinking was considered ‘bad’, that is the reason that i have such strong beliefs. I think that there would be a lot less crimes (murders, rapes, etc.) in the world if there was no drinking. And please dont get me wrong-i am not saying that people who drink are criminals… many would just behave better otherwise.

  103. I drink and I think it is great that you don’t! I dont drink often or much because it interferes with my sleep cycles and leaves me washed out the next day. Sometimes I will drink specificaly because it DOES take away some of my self control. That can be a really good thing sometimes, especialy for someone that is hung up on being in control. My idea of drinking is two, maybe three drinks MAX a couple times a month. Any more than that and it interfers with my life.

  104. I once was that person that never drank, smoked cigarettes, or did any drugs. Over the years I became a binge drinker, started smoking cigarettes, and then progressed to smoking pot. The smoking always came after I was already drunk.. inhibitions were down and I thought “heck, why not?”. I initially started drinking when I was 18 and looking back I wish I never had. At first it was just a few beers during high school parties. Throughout college the beer drinking progressed to hard alcohol. I didn’t know my limit. I would black out and be hung over all the time. During college I drank because that’s what we did for fun to get a release from studying and exams. Soon after graduating, I started drinking for other reasons. I didn’t know what to do after college.. I couldn’t find a job in my field of study, felt like a failure, was depressed, lonely. I drank to forget how terrible my life was but I would always feel worse the next day. Then I would drink again to get over feeling that was more terrible. And the cycle continued. I eventually was able to control my alcohol intake and limited the occasions I would drink. However, when I start feeling depressed or angry I notice I always end up drinking uncontrollably. It’s not until recently that I thought I may be an alcoholic. In the past year I went out to drink about 10 times or so.. limiting to 2-5 drinks. But I know that once I start having bad feelings, I have a chance of going over my limit. I have committed to being 100% sober. I just can’t risk it anymore. It’s sad that it has taken me almost 10 years to realize it. Don’t drink to run from your problems.. it only makes it worse. I’m trying to learn how to cope with my problems without grabbing the bottle. Although I don’t drink uncontrollably like before.. i know that alcoholic is in me somewhere.

  105. I’m from Birmingham (UK) and people seem to start drinking a lot earlier over here; I assume cause the legal limit is 18 rather than 21. I have never touched a drop of alcohol. As in literally not a drop. And while at the age of 15-17 people had little or no respect for me and my non-drinkingness; since 18 (I’m 22 now) everybody who finds out (especially in night clubs) is like “Wow thats amazing”. I’ve also never tried a cigarette or any other form of drug. I barely even have caffine due to not liking things like tea, coffee, red bull etc. I feel like I’m rebelling, by not rebelling. And its brilliant. I stroll into Snobs (main night club of choice) and I’m the first one on the dance floor and the last one off it, whether the dancefloor is empty or full I couldnt care less. I suppose Im lucky in that I dont care what pople think about as long as Im enjoying myself. And it does help that I’m pretty adept at dancing 🙂 But besides me going on an ego trip here, I have far more respect for people who used to drink, especially rely on it, and have now given it up. Its the easiest thing in the world to be able to say no when you dont know what the experience is like that you are saying no to. Whereas people who have become reliant on it, then have given it up, massive respect for you guys!

  106. I like your reasons for not drinking. I don’t drink, or smoke, and only take modern medicine when there is nothing else and the pain is completely unbearable, and if I can’t get out of bed or can’t function at all. Other than that i believe that symptoms are when the body is trying to tell you that your doing something wrong and to fix it not to cover it up. I am not religious I just don’t want to drink. I don’t want to be out of control, and i want to show people that it is possible to have fun without drinking and without being altered. Smoking is just unhealthy.

    Sarah

  107. I agree with your reasons for not drinking. I do disagree with some of your reasoning though.

    It seems like you are judging drinkers in the same way you want drinkers NOT to judge you.

    It is possible to go out drinking with friends and have a good time without being a dickhead and drinking until the point of spewing.

    It kind of sounds like you are saying – if you drink you act like a fool and I don’t want to talk with you.

    I like to chill out and have a couple of beers and relax. Does that make me insecure and dependent on drinking to have a good time?

    Interesting discussion though. Congratulation on staying sober. Stick to your guns!

  108. I know this is a really old post, but I hear ya. I’m a rising senior in college and I have never smoked, drank, or done drugs. I had a small group of good friends during my freshman year who didn’t do any of those things either, and I always had a blast with them. Three years later, and not one of them is left: all of them drink. One even tried drugs, and I’m not sure whether he’s done them again. I can’t stand being around drunk people, and I immediately vacate the premises if people start drinking. I can’t stand drunken behavior. One in this group, (she very rarely drinks), somehow assumed I wanted to go to a progressive; not to drink but to “have fun”. No thanks.

  109. If you haven’t drank or done drugs – you quite simply haven’t lived.

    I understand you will come back with retorts such as ‘you shouldnt need alcohol to have a good time’ etc.. but if you’ve never tried it you have no idea HOW good it is.

    Try Ibiza one day 😉

  110. Interesting post. There are a lot of things people abstain from, using self-control to rationalize their choice (can you say “40-year old virgin?”). No offense and props to your decision, but I think more often than not, we develop lifestyle habits and develop set of values that reinforce those habits.

    Personally, I find drugs and alcohol fascinating – not because they provide a sustainable means of satisfaction or help people deal with their issues, but because they alter a person’s perception of reality. It’s sort of like a physical “StumbleUpon” that can introduce you to a brand new perspective on life. Whether you happen to like or dislike that perspective isn’t the point – the fact is that you get to see things in a new way and better understand what you like and why.

    Alcohol is disgusting – no doubt about it. However, I’ve found that using substances deliberately to play on emotion can provide remarkable breakthroughs in confidence, creativity and even relationships. Use with care, certainly, but it’s not ALL bad if you don’t look for “cures in the drugs.”

    Just my two cents. Cheers 🙂

  111. Gosh, thank you so much for posting this! I was never interested in alcohol, even though I am now 17. I am aware that a ton of my classmates drink and smoke. I just hate the idea of putting that stuff into my body and I’ve been around enough drunk people already. I don’t want to know what “kind” of drunk I’ll be. I don’t like seeing my friends become completely different people! I’ve been worried lately…I read on some blog that a girl lacks a social life because she didn’t drink and all the students ever did besides go to class was drink. That made me nervous about college and whether or not I will lack a social life since I choose not to drink, but your post helps me overcome that worry a bit. 🙂 Thank you!

  112. I loved reading your article and like most of the people that posted before me, I don’t drink/smoke. I don’t have alcoholic parents or anything major like that, but I just never found drinking appealing. What’s so great about losing control so you can forget about your depression, anxiety, or boredom? Why would I want to suffer hangovers in the morning and regret things that I did the night before? Now, please don’t tell me I just stand from the sidelines. I gave alcohol plenty of chances, but it just tasted terrible and I thought that there were so many other things I could be doing that were more fun than drinking. I am going into college this year and I am a bit nervous about finding friends that will accept me despite my choice to not drink or smoke. I’d rather hang out on campus, play sports or video games, and just have a good time without alcohol. Anyways, thanks for the article and I notice a ton of guys are looking for a girl who can’t drink…hello? right here! *wink* Just kidding. You guys seem nice, so you’ll someday find a woman who doesn’t drink. Just keep your eyes open, we’re somewhere!

  113. I am sorry that my post is so negative, but reading your blog post is like watching foxnews or csnbc. It is a bit ridiculous. I respect your stance on drinking and respect everybody’s comments (whether it’s pro or con) but you are on your little soapbox damning pretty much anybody who drinks. There is nothing that makes you stronger nor weaker from choosing to drink or not to drink, yet you write as if you are stronger/better than the next person by choosing not to. I have nothing wrong with your opinion but it seems very ignorant, short sighted and possibly insecure to deem yourself superior due to the simple fact that you choose not to drink. True, there are many people who can be annoying when they drink (I have been that annoying person before) and many people who cannot have fun without a drink but that does not really make sense to say they are weaker, or more insecure than you. Enjoy the lack of alcohol in your life, you are aloud to, and I respect that. Even though I enjoy drinking I do not view you as stronger nor weaker than me, I only view you as person that is equal, but decided he does not like alcohol…That is fine. The Internet is a great forum to post opinions, whether they are one sided or completely open, I just hope the general way your judgmental views have been expressed here is not the way you handle all of your opinions when it comes to real life. As I said in the beginning, your personal stance on drinking is completely respected by me, I just have issues with the judgmental stance which you showed in you blog post.

  114. I just now came across this blog because I was googling reasons why other people don’t drink and I’m glad I found it. I’m a senior undergrad right now and find it so hard to connect with people that drink regularly. You mentioned that it’s hard to find girls that don’t drink but trust me, it’s harder finding guys. When people ask me why I don’t drink, I feel like sooo many reasons just spring up in my head and when I tell them, I just feel like I’m lecturing and they kind of doze off. I’ve been to a lot of parties and found that I actually get really nervous around drunk people. Maybe it’s their unpredictability or just the fear of being thrown up on but I make a hard effort to stay away from them. It’s nice to see that someone else shares many of the same reasons for not drinking. I just turned 21 and lately, every time I go shopping past the alcohol aisle, I really want to buy something just for the simple fact I can. I’m sure I would end up giving it to someone else and I’m sure I might like the taste of some things but I also feel like I worked so hard to avoid it through the hardest time of my life to avoid alcohol, why should I give up now? Who knows, maybe I will every once in a while when I’m older but one thing that holds me back is when I read about a 120 year old woman who never drank or smoked a day in her life. She lived 60 YEARS longer than her husband! I don’t know if I want to live that long but at this point in my life, I want death to be as far away as possible. Thanks for the post. 🙂

  115. Drinking isnt always for all the above reasons you mention, is also an act of modern society while socialising, some people feel they can loose themselves a little with a drink and become less rigid…in a culture where most of people have sad faces thats it… Im sorry you had bad and unpleasant experiences with people that got drunk because they didnt know the meaning of the*ocaccional sociable drink*(plus they were teenagers at that time) , but that doesnt give you the right to label all the people that drink as boring, or depressed or stressed, I dont fall into any of those categories and I perfectly enjoy a normal glass of wine twice a week, on my own thats it, cos my boyfriend, like you also doesnt drink, smoke or do drugs(I dont smoke or do drugs either)but I wouldnt like him to judge me for drinking, for me its a treat, its *me time*, its freedoom from work, from rush hour commuting, a break from the normal 9-5 life like you name your blog…We cant all like the same things, but certainly you cant judge if you dont trully know the meaning of the pleaseure and enjoyment of alcohol.People have make drinking look as an irresponsible act because they have abuse it, alcohol is an art, is taste, behind it you can find wonderful facts.
    Regards from a trully wine lover who is not a depressed alcoholic sitting in front of the tv and certainly wont have a hangover tomorrow.
    2010,10,04, Scotland

  116. Kudos on standing by your convictions, from a 28-y.o. who has chosen sobriety (although for different reasons).

  117. It is SO hard to find other people who don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. I agreed 100% with everything you said in this post. I counted five sips of alcohol, looks like you’ve had more than me. 😉 I’ve had three and all were accidental. My favorite is when I tell people I don’t drink and never have and they call me a liar.

  118. Wow…and I was beginning to think I was the only mentally sober girl left in this pathetic world, hahahaha. Great post hun.

  119. Hi, I enjoy your posts. As for drinking, you’ve been clear: If a person enjoys it, its fine by you. That said, would you be interested to learn I keep a ‘rum diary’ when I drink alcohol, how much and what? Why do I keep a diary? You might say I enjoy alcohol enough to enjoy it responsibly. Also, I agree with you that excessive consumption of anything is one of the annoying aspects of modern life. Anyone with any degree of social interaction has to put up with annoying boors now and again. But I am cautious and, dare I say it, suspicious of extremism. While I respect that you simply do not appreciate the taste of a fine single malt or a glass of beer made with love, care and attention, let alone wine, I cannot agree that life as you describe it is better than life as you describe it with the addition of how I drink.
    If it helps, I’m a highly successful ex-pat living in my version of heaven in Poland for the last ten years. The nomadic life is equally valuable but for me, putting down an anchor in a place where I can feel lucky just to look out of my kitchen window every day is my conception of sustainable happiness.
    Regardless, thank you for your informative posts, I’ve added your amazon links to my wishlist. Cheers and best of luck, Bulent.

  120. I really liked this. As a college student who doesn’t drink, I thought it was nice to see another person’s point of view as to why they choose not to. It’s rough sometimes, but I always admire someone who can stick with it.

  121. At one point, long ago I drank for the wrong reasons. Gave it up because it interfered with living life on my terms. Now, when people drink, I’m fine with it if they do it for the right reasons, pleasure. Too much alcohol, as you’ve illustrated, is unpleasant at best.

    I found your site by way of RV living. I use my van for camping, share your views of alcohol, and feel that following Bikram’s path makes life chase me, rather than vice versa. Interesting.

    Great blog.

  122. my girlfriend never really drank much because she doesn’t like the way any alcohol tastes but recently she discovered a way to make all drinks taste great! I tried it and it is pretty much guarenteed to work. Start out drinking one drink followed by five more of the same flavor. when you start drinking number seven, switch to another flavor of drink and you will notice you don’t mind the taste at all. it really works!!

  123. Hey Ty,

    This is some amazing feedback… these posts have been going on for over 4 years and are longer than your original blog. That must be some king of record.

    Great site btw… love reading about yr thoughts on life and how you live it.

  124. Think this is my favorite post. Wonder if you are still behind the ideas and principles expressed in the post or if you have changed in the past few years.

    but you got my respect

  125. Dude, I’m 50 and have just ordered your book off Amazon. I worked overseas for years and admire your guts to travel like you do. And I’m really looking forward to reading MHCY. Like you, I have a serious introvert problem (yours seems to be long gone). With tremendous admiration…

  126. Hi, i saw your blog and found it rather interesting. I’am someone who drinks here and there….VERY little and FAR in between. Im currently in a long term relationship where my girlfriend likes to drink. she use to drink a beer or two everyday, and on thursdays for sure it was happy hour with the girls. Now shes cut down to 1 or 2 times out of the week and i have to say i think she can do better, but i dont see the desire. Its starting to take its toll on me and im starting to feel that my glass is overflowing. I dislike babysitting, i hate how a woman gets drunk. Its a major turn off for me. Im caught up in a situation where i dont know what to do anymore. Im on a teetor totter and i cant get off. Needed to vent…thanks for letting me share.

  127. Have you heard that drink wine or beer (1-2 glasses) having meals is healthy, improving cardiovascular system?. Maybe you could figure out something about it.

  128. Tynan, so glad to see you are still booze-free. Love the blog man. Those that are clinging to their drink are just too weak to admit the truth… that their lives are empty without it. Thanks for the encouragement.

  129. I did; it’s because of a polyphenol called resveratrol.

    Did you also know that resveratrol is simply found in… grapes?

  130. lame article. alcohol and sex are the two oldest non-spiritual pleasures of man… In my opinion there is something deficient about a man who can’t enjoy a good drink or three – doesn’t mean it has to become vice…

  131. Great post, and I couldn’t agree more. It’s great to see others out there who are also bothered when their friends, those they knew and loved, get drunk and start acting like idiots. I don’t drink either, never have.

  132. I’m a addict. And your post helped me to think anothers ways to not drink and don’t drugs!
    Thank you. I’m trying to stop do drugs and drink alcohol. Pikup girls and interact with people is pretty better! And i really think who drinks are all these things that you have said!

    Hugs

  133. Afonso,

    I don’t know man.. Your plan to replace one addiction with another might not work out for you. Pickup can end up destroying your life just like drugs and alcohol if you approach it like you are about to do; replacing one addiction with another. May I suggest looking instead on getting yourself out of the need for addictions, looking to destroy the root cause in your life that drives you to different addictions. Also, there’s probably a good reason why Tynan himself has given up pickup, and he wasn’t even an addict. Whatever you do, good luck!

  134. Why do you people get bothered when your friends get drunk and act like idiots? What do expect them to act like – geniuses? Liten up a little. No one is judging you for not drinking, so don’t be sanctimonius.
    Sheesh

  135. Getting drunk is fun.I’m one of the fittest folks I know, and I drink on the weekend, not because I’m bored, but its because its a good time, its fun to do with close friends.Don’t be such a self rhiteous cunt Tynon.I think you being so open about your non drinking makes up for something missing in your life.

  136. I drink, often times too much, it’s a crutch.

    Funnily enough not one I need and I have more fun when Im sober

  137. Actually here’s a thing, you seem deathly afraid of alcohol.

    Would it not be a good idea to dive into that fear head on and over come it?

    If your life is determined by alcohol to such an extent that you can never drink ever, aren’t you much the same as an alcoholic? In that you are completely at it’s mercy?

  138. @Margoose this is a rather odd statement, from my experience even though i made great friends thanks to alcohol, it’s obvious we’re all totally stupid when drunk, and you can waste 1 or 2 days doing nothing when you get a hungover.

    For a non-drinker like Tynan, forcing yourself to drink would be like stabbing yourself with a knife. For non-drinkers alcohol taste horrible and rarely something good comes out of drinking.

    I made the decision to opt-out of drinking not so long ago after I forgot 80% of the events of a great party. The bad news is like i’m fan of rare beers (belgian ones for the most) but i think i can restrain myself no to get drunk again.

  139. Love the article. I’ve never had a drop of alcohol, was once almost tricked into it by a ‘friend’, but thats as close as i’ve ever been.

    My girlfriend just turned 21 and drank even after I’ve been telling her how much I dislike it. Makes me feel weird because I think alcohol is disgusting, unattractive and disappointing. I won’t break up with her, but I feel like I’ve lost her to the other side.

    Everyone around me thinks alcohol is no big deal (or that it’s great) and I’m adamantly set against it, so I started searching for people who are too. Just to make sure I’m not alone.

    Thank you =)

  140. What you choose to or not to do is your own decision, but trying to get someone else( be they girlfriend or boyfriend or strangers) is just you being an insecure controlling loser. So enjoy your life let others enjoy theirs and do not be sanctimonious about how pure you are. Peace and Love.

  141. I do drink, but maybe one drink a month or less. I find this satisfactory. I agree with everything you said, except the taste is ok to me. My husband drinks every day and he becomes someone else, without control and forgets what he says the next day. I don’t understand the appeal, and I agree that people should examine why they drink. I think it is ok at weddings or other celebrations. I guess that is the point: it should never be a habit, or something that you would do daily, it should be out of the ordinary and special. If one feels as you do that the taste is yukky, then of course why would you think it enhances any celebration? But I think a drink is ok for me in these cases. Otherwise, I totally completely agree that it can ruin your life, it can control your life when you (we all) should have that control exclusively. I also completely agree that people respect the one who does not drink. They may not want to admit it, they may try to get you to drink, but they have the respect and wish they had the control you do. I think that people see me after one drink, I am the same as before the drink, and that I am totally happy and fun to be around either way. I think they envy that, because a lot of people cannot be “fun” unless they drink first. And usually that turns them into a stumbler as you said, not really a fun person at all. It’s sad! Life is fun! But I do know it is my spiritual outlook as a devout Roman Catholic that gives me peace and no need to drink to obtain peace or a sense of well being. Sorry I wrote so much:)

  142. This really speaks to me Tynan. I feel exactly the same. I’m 19 and have always said i will never drink, not for religion or influence, from a young age i just saw what it did to people and thought… ‘nah i just won’t bother’ but at times went through the same dilemma you did, all my friends did it, i was accused of being boring and unsociable, and my girlfriend whom i love more than anything and have been with for almost 4 years began drinking a while ago, and yet i still haven;t had the urge, and have developed a kind of pride in the fact, too. it’s disgusting and that’s what worries me when my loved ones drink, each one will say ‘oh it’s disgusting alright but you get used to it’…? i just think… why then do you do it? if it’s disgusting but you want to get used to it, then you are just willingly joining the crowds of people who also hate it but ‘got used to it’. does this mean the only reason you drink is for the aftermath then? slight typsiness feeling or full blown wasted-ness sensations? i dont understand why people tell me to ‘live my life’ when i am clearly one of the few people that have actually said ‘it is disgusting so what’s the point?’. i dont care if people drink, i will never do it but it’s nothing that bothers me, the only thing that does affect me is that my girlfriend started a while ago after originally being the same as me, she get’s tispy now and then but never goes over that point, but yet it still irks me. it’s weird, i know it’s because i love her very much, if i didn;t i wouldn’t care. gosh sometimes i wonder whether emotionally it’s better to just drink he he! but i know i never will. I feel stronger than that! thank you tynan for doing this article, it’s made me feel not so weird after all! 🙂

  143. I don’t know why people would drink if it isn’t to get drunk. Some alcohol tastes quite nice but compared to a glass of fruit juice, why bother with the alcohol when it is so much more expensive and not nearly as tasty or refreshing. When I was 16, everyone at school would be drinking and thinking they were really cool but I was never part of any crowd so I didn’t have the chance to join them, but I didn’t want to either. I started going on nights out, however, just before starting uni. I drank a fair few units of vodka a night for the week before starting uni and after that I really starting enjoying drinking with my friends and going out more. I have social anxiety and I know my friends think I’m boring when I don’t drink, so alcohol was great for me to finally be able to open up and not care what people think. This lasted for about 2 months, I was having the time of my life but.. after that it all felt sort of empty. I have still been going out drinking about once a week but my experiences with drink have become worse and worse. I’m 20 now, and recently my alcohol consumption has led to me doing things I certainly regret. Nothing major, just a few drunken kisses that make me feel empty, and me saying things I shouldn’t to the guy I used to fancy. I want to stop drinking, to save money and dignity, but I only ever see my friends when we have a night out planned, they never want to meet up when I’m sober, all they want to do is drink. In retrospect, drunk people are really annoying and it’s just a waste. I would stop drinking entirely, I just need to be able to open up and I can’t seem to do that without alcohol. I don’t understand the people who are confident and loud enough already, before the drink :/

  144. What’s with all these losers calling Tynan a loser? He said himself, “I’m not trying to convert anyone here. If you drink and you’re happy about it, then that’s great for you”. So he never dissed you personally. On the other hand, there’s no denying that some people are pathetic drunks, and overall it is bad for your health. In no way is he trying to be “holy” or “sanctimonious”

    If I were Tynan I would delete your comments- not because I am scared of your stupid remarks and personal attacks- but because I simply do not have the patience for you people who can’t hold an intelligent conversation without resorting 7th grade name calling and using stupid logic.

  145. what do u do when u go out to bars? i never cared about drinking. it’s fun to drink and fun not to. the reason i drink in bars and clubs is because that is this is the way they make money. sometimes i would get water and tip the bar. you said you PUA, i assume you need to go to bars and clubs for that at early stage. don’t you feel like you should buy a drink so that the bar makes money?

  146. I can’t say I read all the comments people posted, but one of the last comments said you were called a loser… Well, those people are idiots so it doesn’t matter what there opinion is!! Keep it up, it is hard!

    I personally love drinking, maybe a lil too much. I am working on that however. I love me some wine and steak, ughhhh I never new how good the combination was until I had Malbec and t-bone! I brew beer; in fact I just bottled 48 beers yesterday of 11% ABV.

    I skimmed through someone that said juice taste better, I have to disagree. Maybe its just the alcoholic in me, but if there is white grape juice in the fridge, and a good beer or bottle of wine guess which I am reaching for. I love drinking and eating, except for breakfast, or an odd World Cup scheduling then you find me drinking in early morning.

    One thing I loved about your article is that it helped me understand my girlfriend more. We will be together for ten years this September! She has only drank twice, and taking sips here and there with looks of disgust. Everyone tries to make her drink, and she always says no. The poor things New Years resolution was to drink more this year, hahahaha, she failed at that miserably. I could never really understand why she didn’t like to, but now I kind of do.

    I did notice a pattern between the both of you; you didn’t start acquiring any taste at an early age. I (and a lot of people I know) began drinking at 14. I am not sure if that has anything to do with it, but that is something in common you both have.

    Why I drink? You mentioned one; boredom. When I am in school doing homework at home and I am bored out of my ass, I grab a few beers and I am able to concentrate better. I feel more relaxed, focused, not bored, and I am able to complete the task at hand. I also have victory drinks! I have not had a better tasting beer than one I have earned to drink. Finish a semester with straight A’s, or getting a high grade on a test, accomplishing something and drinking taste 100 times better to me.

    The times I don’t like when I drink is when I purposefully (or not) binge drink. I lose control. I need to be in control of my life, but not by running away from it either. I will conquer it, and I will be able to say no I have had enough. Then I will be in control.

  147. This is how I have always seen alcohol. I do not get why people are so dependent of it for “liquid courage” or whatever reason they use it. My boyfriend recently turned 21 and had his first drinks. he thought all of them tasted bad and he got a headache from the. but he still wants to drink on occasion.

  148. Honestly, are you sure I didn’t write this? I’ve thought this word for word for the longest time. I never ended up trying alcohol.. but I lost every friend I ever had to it. I’m certainly on the level with you here, especially in the search for a girl who doesn’t drink! I hope our luck picks up.

  149. i agree with you 100%. i am a christian and believe that your body is the temple of Christ and it is very hard to pour liquor in the temple of Christ without defiling it. I hate alcohol with a passion from the smell to the effects. I salute you.

  150. One very lucky individual to not have to deal with thinking about not thinking about alcohol every day of your life, drunk or sober.

  151. nice post. i’m in the same boat. no alcohol, no drugs, no cigs, no pills. never have, never will. all that stuff is for losers. you didn’t mention the cost of alcohol though. a lot more people would have a lot more money if they never spent it on alcohol. going rate is close to 10 bucks a bottle at arenas and stadiums these days. water is free at the fountains. 10 bucks is a few gallons of gas. and (already broke) people would still choose the bottle over a full tank.

  152. I am so glad that someone finally shares my perspective on drinking, drugs, and smoking. Everytime someone asks me to drink I always tell them I hate drinking. When they ask me to explain why I tell them “I like being in control of my actions” and they just laugh and call me a square or a prune. You were finally able to hit the nail on the head. Alcohol does not taste good, it makes you do stupid things, and so many people do it. Why can’t we just say no?

  153. liked your story, but most of the great engineers scientists and other motivaters in life have been alcoholics on drugs medication or in mental disputes with depresion. I am glad to hear about someone who can have a life with out the 9-5 and no stress live it up i don’t know any one who has no problems.

  154. even a “buzz” equates to being drunk.you’ll find that if you’re buzzed you’re over your legal limit.drunk is drunk.a buzz indicates you’re not completely sober which means you’re drunk.not sloshing drunk,speech slurring drunk,but drunk none the less.a little drunk is still drunk..period.the word “buzz” regarding drinking ,is also used to mean a ‘slight’high’ when smoking dope,and was later used commonly as an attempt to make socially acceptable the idea or notion and action of getting or being slightly drunk./

  155. It’s an acquired taste. Also, cheap beer and wine is terrible, overly sweetened drinks aka “bitch beer” suck.

  156. The thing that bothers me the most here is that many of the people I’m usually in contact with (i.e. schoolmates, etc.) seem to make me see myself as a bad person because I don’t drink, like, at all. Especially now that my friends and I have turned 18 I’ve felt really left out because I don’t go to parties and bars. I do like beer but I don’t like getting drunk or seeing drunk people.

    It was the same in middle school. Nearly all of my “friends” drank and made me look stupid because I didn’t. I went to high school in a different town and met some nice people who seemingly didn’t drink or drank rather little. Now they don’t even talk about much else than partying and what happened when they were drunk the last time. Some of my best friends even tell me they’ll “have to get me drunk sometime”.

    Having become bullied by my former friends in middle school due to not going to parties and the likes has really made me a bit paranoid about my social life. I don’t want the same shit to happen again but it seems inevitable to me.

  157. You seem to be really smug and entirely too comfortable. Life is often a veil of tears and we all require a ‘crutch’ now and then. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

  158. Crutch is too harsh, man. And saying it makes people stupid is way too judgmental. I have friends who drink and I don’t mind them at all, though I don’t drink. I know they drink because it lets them have a good laugh, relax and have fun. But that doesn’t mean I have to join in to be their friend or to have fun with them. I personally think the worst possible reason to drink is to be accepted. If you don’t want to, don’t; if they don’t like it, it’s their loss.

  159. Man I was typing in “a lil drunk” and found your blog. Sorry bro but what you say about drinking sounds weird. Who the fuck drinks wine only chicks or wanna be french people. You don’t seem to have been trying anything and always be against it !anyways!. Sure if you over indulge that shits gonna turn out nasty! But to be honest I never used to drink until I was legal to do so, I didn’t get fucked up at parties or bars. But by the time I had an idea and tryed different drinks I was ready to go out and drink. You can’t go to a party and don’t have a drop you will look at everything and everybody in a dumb way. Also looking down on people b/c they enjoy drinking makes you the fool!

  160. Hi! You are just a same person as me, no much difference. I feel the same as you do and i am happy about it.
    I would never smoke in my life, but maybe if i drink, that’ll just be a formality…………

  161. To JP:
    “So you’ve never been drunk before? I’m a little surprised that you can hate on booze that conclusively, when you’ve never even gotten tipsy. How do you know you so certainly that you don’t want to drink – can you tell if you like steak by watching someone else eat steak?…I’m not saying that you have to drink, or that you have to like drinking. But I am saying that you are full of preconceived notions about the booze, and you are wholly unqualified to pass judgment on it or on those who partake.”

    Doctors are ‘wholly qualified’ right? PhD. and whatnot?

    Should I even let my doctor treat me for cancer, when he’s ‘never even gotten’ a tumor?

    Anyways I can ‘tell if I like’ cancer ‘by watching someone else’ with cancer. And I know ‘so certainly’ that I do not want cancer.

  162. “shit story”
    “what do you want a nobel prize?”
    “you’re a loser that’s too scared to drink”
    “what makes you so special?”

    ^^People need to chill.

    Take a tip from the ivy leagues (Dartmouth’s website):

    “10 Bad Listening Habits”

    2. Criticizing the Speaker
    It’s the indoor sport of most bad listeners to find fault with the way a speaker looks, acts, and talks. Good listeners may make a few of the same criticisms but they quickly begin to pay attention to what is said, not how it is said. After a few minutes, good listeners become oblivious to the speaker’s mannerisms or his/her faults in delivery. They know that the message is ten times as important as the clothing in which it comes garbed.

    3. Getting Overstimulated
    Listening efficiency drops to zero when the listeners react so strongly to one part of the presentation that they miss what follows. At the University of Minnesota we think this bad habit is so critical that, in the classes where we teach listening, we put at the top of every blackboard the words: Withhold evaluation until comprehension is complete — hear the speaker out. It is important that we understand the speaker’s point of view fully before we accept or reject it.

  163. you sound to me like a control freak, are scared of what people think of you and you blame all of your lifes problems on everybody elses alcohol intake.

  164. This article is amazing you have converted me i never really liked alcohol i just dramk because my friends did but i realise i can go out and not drink and still have a good time thank you tynan 🙂

  165. Dude, you’re confusing drinking and getting drunk. I’ve drunk several times in my life and never, ever gotten drunk. Every time in this post, where you refer to ‘drinking’, you actually refer to people getting drunk.

    I know people who don’t drink for moral reasons or personal reasons (eg, a friend whose father was an alcoholic, so he refuses to drink alcohol now) and I’m cool with that. But all your reasons are in relation to getting drunk (losing inhibitions, de-stressing, loneliness, etc).

  166. Hey!

    This is a great post!!! Really! I’m very impressed with what you have written and it has inspired me. About two months ago I came to an agreement with myself to quit drinking. I had cut back significantly in the past year and in that time thought alot about drinking. All of your thoughts are exactly mine. Alcohol tastes disgusting, even the so called “fancy” wines. I get so sick of peoples “I was so wasted” stories. Most people will never realize what fools they make of themselves investing so much time in something so useless. I’m so glad I’m not one of them anymore. Congratulations on never being one!!

  167. So I just stumbled onto this–never read this blog or whatever before–but have been pondering this subject since I came to college (currently a sophomore), so I thought I’d add something.

    Alcohol and other drugs which gain a feeling of happiness, ecstasy, over-all good feeling, etc. do something I (and I hope others who examine the subject) find interesting, scary, and on a deep level wrong. You see, in life there are objects (include people, animals, etc into objects for simplicity’s sake) that make us as people feel. This keyboard makes me feel a certain way in virtue of how the texture of it catches my fingers. And some things make me feel pleasure because of the nature of the thing, an easy example is sex, that makes people feel good in virtue of who it’s with (in the best cases of course) as well as in virtue of the responses to the textures of…all involved (you know what I’m saying). Other things like thinking of a good friend or accomplishment make me feel a sense of well-being.

    So to get to alcohol and other drugs: These things give you these feelings but it is not in direct response to what they actually are, instead it is in response to mere chemical reactions in your brain, and so this feeling of well-being and happiness you’ve got after having a little too much to drink is a feeling that cannot be linked back to anything real in the outside world, something outside yourself, it entirely in you, and that seems to me wrong. Real happiness is in virtue of something outside of you, not something that is only occurring chemically in your brain. To clarify the rightness and wrongness of this: enjoying the experience of the sip of fine wine, and enjoying thus the great creation of man that it is by enjoying the direct sensations of this object–taste–seems right, but when you have so much and feel pleasure laying in your bed doing nothing in virtue of the alcohol’s affect on your brain this seems wrong. If you don’t find this wrong, I wish I could feel the same, perhaps I think to much, but it’s worth thinking about so you can decide for yourself when you have examined the specifics of the feelings, actions, states and processes involved in consuming alcohol whether you still enjoy it (or in the case of the article writer, continue to not enjoy it)

    I dislike drinking myself (I mean becoming drunk, I don’t mind enjoying one drink’s worth of a well-made alcohol), and all that I have said strikes me as suggesting making oneself drunk involves a profound ability to be selfishly self-absorbed. I never want to acquire this ability.

  168. My sentiments exactly! I don’t drink either. I actually am allergic to all the things you listed!! ahaha. My brain’s neurotransmitters get out of whack if I take any kind of mind altering drug, so I’m forced to be Buddhist in a way! and I like it just fine.

  169. This is some of the most judgmental garbage I’ve ever read. Not drinking makes you “stronger” than the 90% of the population who does (that includes nearly all of the world’s great leaders and artists)? Absolute self-righteous b-s nonsense. Get over yourself. Sounds pretty lame. If you were actually a good time to be around, you probably wouldn’t need this “Pickup Artist” crap. Women would want to be around you. Confidence, humor, humility and intelligence are sexy; arrogance is definitely not- TRUST.

  170. He is not arrogant for posting this. He clearly states that he is giving his own reasons for not drinking and I respect him for that. For those of you who do not have the mental capacity to understand this-I pity you.

  171. Yes, my reason has no absolute “this is wrong” message attached to it, I wanted to just say clearly and distinctly: this is what I perceive drinking to be like (with consideration of the details of the experience of drinking) and I personally don’t like “what it is like,” so that’s why I don’t do it, and if you want to argue for why you like “what it is like,” I would honestly love to hear it. If I could convince myself of a good reason for liking it, I would likely begin drinking.

    Also, I’m as social as any other college student at what has been ranked the #1 party school in the country in passed years (not naming it for obvious reasons but it’s in the midwest), though of course not as social as the ones who barely pass class who bar-hop every night. To respond to your claim about women, I have a steady and intimate relationship with a lovely lady which has gone on for over a year and have had to deal with other women wanting me as well (I say this not out of arrogance, but to put a final nail in your claim that I cannot have the views I have and possibly “make it with women”)

    I would think even drinkers could concede that drinking is not a requirement to being “a good time to be around,” and it’s sad if you must be a drinker to be so, because that would seem to suggest you are incapable of successfully socializing without alcohol, and that’s pathetic.

    I want to thank you for taking the time to read what I said, though, Allie (as well as JJ and Laura), and also, thanks for responding, and I do not intend anything I said personally in any way shape or form, I was merely trying to hit upon all the points you made with appropriate refutations, feel free to disagree and argue further; debates breed understanding.

  172. JJ-Stating that his choice to abstain makes him stronger IS arrogant. I respect his choice- not his justification. To think that you are more worthy of respect than your peers who can drink responsibly and in moderation or rarely is hypercritical if not pompous. How can you not see this? Passing judgment on others to make you feel better about your own choices never did anyone any good. Let your actions speak for themselves.

    As previously stated in another comment, Tynan doesn’t seem to understand the difference between drinking and getting drunk. Enjoying a glass of wine with friends and getting plastered at a party just aren’t the same. The motivations and consequences of these situations are completely different. But again, choosing not to do either of these things is fine too. Just don’t think that the group of friends that sit around a table sipping Pepsi and playing say… Scattergories are automatically better than the ones drinking wine and playing Scattergories. It’s just a different scene. Drinking doesn’t have to mean playing with fire.

    Also, everyone I’ve ever heard claim that they don’t drink because they don’t want to loose control had control issues. It’s foolish to think that you’re ever really completely in control. Every time you drive a car, you taking a gamble because you can’t control other drivers. You may be able to control your own actions and emotions but you can’t control the things that happen TO you. Going back to the difference between drinking and getting drunk, there’s a tipping point between drinking and loosing control of your emotions. You don’t ever have to drink to that point. To the 17 or 19yr-old kids who read his post and think it’s great, I’m glad. They’re too young to be able to toe the line of moderation anyway. And it’s physically damaging to teens whose brains aren’t even fully developed. There’s a reason why there’s a drinking age.

    Darn, it’s a reaI shame I don’t have the “mental capacity” to understand nonsensical assertions. So sorry.

  173. I dont drink . . .because im an alcoholic. Im only 27 years old. I had a nice up bringing,good life,everything going for me,but inside I was dead. Everyone thought because I was pretty, I was confident. I wasn’t in the slightest bit confident. Im still struggling to this day with my illness,but im sober and thats the main thing. Point im trying to make is, this illness could happen to anyone. Im not dissing people who can and do enjoy a drink,thats fair enough. . . I guess this is a warning to be careful though. For everyone to be careful. Alcohol (because its legal) may seem harmless, but it can destroy lives.
    Lucy xxx p.s. I wish I had the zest for life you do x

  174. Allie makes good points, I’d like to address them in terms of what I said, because I think some may be taking what I said stronger than what I meant it to be(which I think is due to my somewhat poor choice of words).

    So, I want it to be known that at all points in which I say wrong, I mean a wrongness that I feel, not a moral wrongness, like, say how you may do some drug that you aren’t comfortable with because you wanted to just try it but it just makes you feel wrong, that is the sense of wrong I mean, I don’t mean, wrongness in the sense of: it is wrong to own slaves.

    If you take the way I use wrongness to mean the latter, Allie, it is very understandable why you would take what I’m saying to be judgmental, because in fact, if that’s the meaning I’m using for wrong, you’re right, that is judgmental.

    I also want to reiterate that you are right in all you said about it being important to recognize the difference between consuming alcohol and being drunk.

    Your point about control I found amusing, too, because, largely I find it true that people who go on and on about control as their reason for not using alcohol general do indeed have a very deeply wrong conception of control, and a general air of self-deception that they carry around with them in everything they do.

    Now, if it wasn’t the wrongness aspect of what I said that struck you as arrogant, then I bet it was my last paragraph, in which I kind’ve just put out a conclusion with no premises because I was lazy in my typing at that point so I think I should flesh out more that last point so you see fully what I was trying to get at.

    The heart of the selfishness I’m speaking of lies in intention. I really think it matters what reasoning someone comes into a situation with. For example, I think we’d all think that sex with one of the most prevailing intentions being actual affection (or some degree of love) for the individual you are engaged in it with is more morally right than sex without that but with mere desire for sexual pleasure or sexual release of tension. If you concede that these two cases of sexual interaction are equally moral (or equally immoral) then you are operating on a different (but not less moral) overall moral standard than lots of people including me. Each moral code seems to be basically equal (I admit this is a claim of debate but I don’t want to get into the specifics of moral relativism versus absolutism right now because that’s boring, so bear with me), so if you do not operate in the same moral code in which the sex case of morality I mentioned applies, disregard everything I’m about to say because it does not follow from the same moral code you hold (which is to not say you are less moral, but rather that you simply have DIFFERENT morals). I realized just now I should add something to what I said about the morality of intention and sex: it would, it seems to me and I bet lots of others, sex where both individuals know the true intention of the other,even if it’s mere pleasure or sexual release,is basically equally moral to the case involving affection, it only becomes less moral if one has intentions that he/she knows are not what the other perceives his/her intentions to be, and thus there is a situation in which someone is without speaking the lie, in fact lying in virtue of not disclosing his/her true intentions.
    So if you agree with all that, I see no reason why you would not agree with the following (and, Allie, I really think you will after reading your last post, we just had a misunderstanding of points, I think). There are many reasons why someone chooses to smoke weed or drink (you’ll see why I’m using the weed example as well), some use alcohol with the intention of loosening themselves up so that they can facilitate a better time for those around them, others use it communally (to share an alcohol a group of people want to enjoy together, experiencing together a similar taste and feeling), and some use weed in moderate amounts to help them to get their creative juices flowing or to focus (my girlfriend has severe ADD and uses weed for this rather frequently since she hasn’t had the time to see a doctor for a prescription of ADD medicine), now these reasons, based on my gut reaction in virtue of the moral code I described and hold, seem to not be bad or selfish intentions. The specifics of why seem to be what I described in my first post about there seeming to be something more righteous in doing things that relate to things outside of yourself. Now, drinking alcohol to feel happiness and overall well-being as your primary intention, and to smoke weed in order to separate yourself from the outside world and to get the “tinglys” as I like to jokingly call them (anyone who’s smoked knows when you have enough you feel a mild ecstasy over your whole body). Those seem, on gut reaction, to not be as good of intentions as the other intentions I mentioned earlier (I attempted to get at maybe why this is the case in my first post, but I should’ve clarified that these are the intentions I was critiquing). Those seemingly wrong intentions seem equivalent to taking a drug that simply gives you ecstasy whenever you wish it without any other side effects or change to your outward appearance, doesn’t it seem barbaric to want such ecstasy for no reason at all just simply because you want it, no doubt you’d get addicted to it if you started using it (anybody would) and then your experience of everything would no longer be how things really are and you would ignore things in your life that were hard but rewarding because you could instead be sitting in a chair feeling fake happiness and ecstasy. I probably need to flesh this example out more, but I hope you all get the picture.

    It seems to me now important to mention why I started thinking along this line in the first place. One of my girlfriend’s friends was over and going on and on one night how she just wanted to be drunk right then, no reason at all, she just for no good reason wanted to be drunk, and when we asked her further what she meant, she just said, “I just want to sit in my room alone and be drunk.” There was no reason, she hadn’t been in a stressful situation she wanted to escape from, she didn’t want to get drunk and have a good time with others, she didn’t want to drink communally, she just wanted to sit in her room and feel the pleasure of drunkenness…and lots of people at my college are like that, they just love to feel drunk, for the sake of feeling that way, with no other intention. That seems pretty dumb to me, and that’s the kind of thing I meant all along to be attacking and describing, not drinking with those other intentions.

    It may seem stupid to say this, but seriously, thank you for responding intelligently, you clearly have the “mental capacity,” to read intelligently (though I don’t think one need be any more than an average reader to parse out what I say, I don’t claim to be some kind of Heideggerian cryptic philosopher or anything even half as important, just a guy with an opinion I think is worth considering) but I do want you to see what I was getting at with what you call nonsensical assertions, and I hope that if you look at them in the context of what I’ve said here, you will see that they are not nonsensical, but just not fully explained due to my being not quite as thorough as I could’ve been.

  175. Also, Allie, where exactly are you getting that I think I’m stronger for not drinking; I’m having trouble seeing that specifically in my post now that I think of it, because I never intended to send that message at all.

  176. I am so glad to see all this support to not drinking. It is becoming such a social taboo when you tell people you don’t want to. I felt like I had to make excuses for myself all the time, that I couldn’t for medical reasons etc. because I felt so judged for simply saying I just didn’t want to out of choice. I do accept people who drink, I don’t judge people who drink sensibly, but unfortunately its so hard to refrain from a negative view of drinking when I’m surrounded by the worst examples of it in people. One of the girls who works with me told me she spent £580 on a drinking holiday!! And this was just the spending on drinks, not the hotel or flights, JUST drinking! How she managed to blow that much money is beyond me. I have had hands on experience too of how different my friends changed when they first started to explore drinking. Out of curiosity I have also tried it. Never. Again. Tastes horrible, makes you feel horrible, makes you look horrible, gives me no buzz apart from a headache. I think alcohol just doesn’t agree with me. I am so proud there are still people out there sticking to their beliefs and morals. Its a hard thing to do, I know.

    Where are all you guys??? Do you know how hard it is for a girl to find a guy that doesn’t drink????

    Thanks for sharing your post!

  177. Your comment: “..a mini gathering of Tynan’s here.”
    just about sums up what you need to get by… the approval of others like you.

    There’s no shame in drinking in moderation and no shame in not drinking. Just know that most people do what they need/want to in order to get by.

    You seem to reject Faith as well, which says more about you than the fact that you don’t drink.

  178. Cool, you don’t like to drink and i respect that. But I’d like to point something out..

    Some people, like me, have many social filters that they cannot get around without the aid of alcohol.

    Sure, I can go out and not drink, but I honestly do not find the benefits of staying sober than having a few drinks and that’s just me. We’re all different and consider yourself lucky to not need to consume any alcohol.

    Alcohol helps break my inhibitions and socialize easier with many people that I would otherwise not be able to hold a conversation with. I have met many individuals through parties and alcohol use.

    If someone could show me how to have GENUINE FUN, get TONS of girls, and make personal connections with strangers without drinking, then that would be a different story.

    And I know I have a self-esteem, I am just a little SHY and need a drug to loosen me up. Thanks..

  179. the reason why people are in debt up to their eyeballs,is simply because they spend all their money on booze and think its a necessity like food.would all these idiots that lean on a bar all night drinkingwhen they are not thirsty think it normal to stand in a takeaway all evening shoving pizzas down your throat when your not hungry.SAD,BOOZERS ARE LOSERS AND NOT ONLY FINANCIALLY.WITHOUT IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A LESS VIOLENT PLACE.

  180. Very understandable, admiarable etc but you are hardly qualified to weigh up the down sides of drinking (which I do not dispute) against the benefits because you have never experienced the benefits! Remember the majority of Westerners do drink; there is a reason! Cheers!

  181. Most people drink as a social lubricant. Also, UT in Austin proved binge drinkers live longer then non drinkers. Beer also builds bone density. If it wasn’t for our dumb ass government forcing their morales on us, we would have more funding for research and know more about the positive effects of alcohol and pot.

    Btw, good post. I definitely have respect for the straight edge kids. Personally, a good IPA taste to good to pass up.

  182. Hi Tynan, we need blogs and literature like yours that is positive. I don’t look down on people who drink alot but I do feel sorry for them. If people try it, and get sucked in to the culture of it, its potentially a life long habbit that can result in premature death – but everyone thinks it’ll never happen to them. I have not been quite the saint you have, but I’ve been pretty clean most of my life. At 14 I tried alcohol once in a while just like others. But even at a young age I knew I didn’t want to spend my life like that. I did not drink again until 29 when I had a solid year of it before quitting again. It was not hard to quit but some people can’t for a variety of reasons, I was just lucky. Anyway now I’m 37 and look 25 due to clean living and exercise. While alcohol is legal, and I don’t dispute that, I am glad drugs are outlawed. I wish smoking was too. I’m proud to say that I’ve never tried drugs, and never had a smoke of anything.

  183. i agree with you on alcohol tastes bad for one, but too be honest its a great way to relax, to just stop planning your future actions and let loose

  184. I want a woman who does not smoke drink or take drugs and believes in Jesus Christ and Him Crucified. Raymond Conder, Perth Western Australia.

  185. Wow sometimes I felt like I was the only one who felt this way! I have never met a guy who doesn’t drink. Sometimes people think I’m boring because I don’t drink. I don’t go to parties because I hate drunk people. I feel like I’m not really social almost…how do you socialize if you don’t drink? Just wondering.

  186. Kind of funny that a few years later this article pops up on the front page of my google search for not so much what I’m particularly looking for right now, but it catches my eye. I turned 21 2 months ago and have never been under the influence. I go dancing, do random things, I live life for what it is but I purposely stay away from certain people, or more specifically certain things. Anyways thanks for writing this, its been an encouragement 🙂

  187. I stopped drinking about a year ago. I figured maybe if I stopped drinking the hard stuff then a reverse psychology effect might play out on Hubby causing him to quit also. Doesn’t seem to work on heavy drinkers, though I still don’t drink. Every so often I try guilt games saying we would have saved $$?? had you not drunk the money in hope. Can only keep going though.

  188. Aaah, I love you man :)I couldn’t agree less with you. I am in first year of college and ALL of my friends have started drinking. I started to feel a bit left out and started to think more about it, like maybe I should start drinking so maybe I could have more friends and fun. After reading this, I just remembered the holiday where I met new people and none of them drank before. I had Sooo much fun. I am sure it was more fun to be with them rather going out with friends and get a hungover. I think that is just sad, that they cant find anything else better to do. After reading this, I am proud to say I don’t drink ^_^

  189. I Two Agree with you “TYNAN”, I don’t like being around Those type of
    people, They are always trying to get you to be like them, and always spiking my cola drinks, I my self is better off alone, and I said alone NOT Lonely, i’m very creative person & people are always trying to limit my Creativity and it only shows me how unCreative they really are, I stop drinking win I was 15 cold turkey because I walk into a burning house to save family members as told by my family after it & I not Remember it and that scared me, you should always be awear what your body is doing or it could kill you, as you say their are greater things in Life then what their trying to brain wash us all!

    Niko.
    Ff06.0157A_NT~
    ~^

  190. This whole post is blah blah. You had bad reisling and will never drink again. That is like saying you do not like onions when trillions of people do. I never liked wine until I went to Italy and had great wine. Getting drunk is a way to break away from something in life you do not like, usually stress, but is not the reason to always drink. Since you do not drink you only see drinkers as lesser people just like a racist sees people outside his race as lesser people. Have your preference for alcohol but please do not lump all drinkers into your own small circle of friends who are alcoholics. Anything in moderation is ok including drugs. You probably have some addiction that you do not even know, whether it is video games or adrenaline, it just does not have the same negative societal factors that drugs or alcohol has.

  191. Another thing…. Maybe your girlfriend wanted you to drink because she thought you were an uptight a**hole? Just a thought. So you are against something… What are you for?

  192. well done for sticking to your guns people are always looking at me funny when i tell them i dont drink and it gets on my nerves!

  193. Tynan,

    I’m a good bit older than you. in my 40’s and I started drinking and smoking and pot when I was 15. Back in my day, it was the “cool” thing to do and let me tell you I regret that I started drinking. Its great that you don’t like it. I sure wish I didn’t. If I didn’t like it, think of all the countless drunken nights where I was sick, said things I didn’t mean to say, plus drunken arguments and fights and a DUI I could’ve avoided plus all the money I could’ve saved. Great post and keep it up.

  194. Seems like you’ve got a little superiority complex going on there with the whole “I also like being one of the few who was strong enough to never give in and try it.” You do realize that, evolutionarily speaking, the more intelligent you are, the more curious you are, and thus more open to try new and different things? It’s been hypothesized by Psychology Today that intelligent people drink more alcohol and experiment with more drugs. It’s not like you have to become terribly addicted to anything, but it couldn’t hurt to open your mind and try to see things from different perspectives, and not just your sober, self-righteous one.

  195. I just want to say that I share the exact same views with you and this post made me feel so good about myself. I’m a freshmen in college who is constantly struggling with finding people who don’t drink. A few people accept that I don’t, but still try to get me to do things with them. I dread the weekends for this exact reason. Why go out and lose consciousness, do things you regret only to feel awful the next day and tell your “dramatic” stories? I hate it so much. From Thursday nights to Sunday nights, I’m miserable – every single weekend. And it’s not one of those “go out and have fun!” type of things, because the one time I tried, I was left behind and more miserable than I have ever been in my life. There are so many better things you can do with your time and what’s the point in not remembering what happened the night before? I used to not care that the people around me drank, but now it’s like there’s no one ever here for me to talk to. Every weekend I spend alone in my bed watching tv and preparing myself for the 2am drama that is sure to come running into my room when I’m just falling asleep.

    The worst part is that these people don’t even care about the emotional toll they put on me. I came to college happier than ever with my life and now feel worthless all because I don’t like to drink, do drugs or smoke. It’s terrible and honestly I only find more and more reasons to never get into the habit.

    So thank you so much for posting this. I realize it’s from so long ago, but I share every single one of your views and it’s really nice to not feel so alone.

  196. I can definitely agree with not drinking. Went from drinking everyday to sober for a month and I can honestly say I’ve never felt better.

  197. I mean when it comes to groups of people, I don’t know like I have a group of friends who drinks and smokes pot, and I have a group of friends who don,t… When I am with the group that drinks and smokes pot, I’ll have a few drinks and smoke a joint. But when I am with the other grou that doesn’t do any of these things I can abstain and still have a great time! I dunno it just bothers me that people think that they are too cool, or too abstinent, or too proper to chill with a certain group because they have absolutely no experience in what that group participates in

  198. im gonna crack open a beer right now and get my saturday night going with all my friends who are drinking and im gonna have a drunktastic time!!!

  199. //contradictions abound, ones who drink drink for the alcohol, dont try to avoid that fact. Most people fear truth, so they get mad and fight for their sad desires, and u can have them. Be happy, live ur lies, but dont ever think ur better for them..

  200. I’m a clinical psychologist, and have been one for five years now. As such, I can see right through this blog. I wish to respectfully point out that the author says, “I’ve never had a drink in my life,” then goes to talk about how he experimented with alcohol. Also, it has been my clinical experience that people who write posts like this are insecure with them selves. After all, why bash other people? Why have what the psychology world calls the superiority complex? My opinion is that this author has insecurities within himself and deals with those by illuminating the insecurities within others in a passive-aggressive way and then shoots them down. But what do I know? I’m just a doctor.

    P.S. I do not drink

  201. Personally I think that every single person on the planet has a “superiority complex” of some sort, but also an “inferiority complex” as well I mean some of us are aware of our strangths and weaknesses and try to assert the strengths, and hide the weaknesses…. I also think that some people are dissilusioned about what they think their strengths and weaknesses are… but hey this for me is all just speculation….

  202. I empathize with the author of this post, being in the same boat and for the exact reasons. Tried alcohol 4 times in my life (sips), have never finished a drink. I think it’s just an easy escape from the difficulties in your life, or your own social anxieties. Why don’t you just suck it up and do it without an alcoholic shoulder to lean on like the rest of us? And what the fuck is with the comments that come in here and try to psychoanalyze the guy who wrote it? It’s like “Oh, he doesn’t drink and I do, yeah pft, I’m going to challenge that motherfucker because we have differing views, he must be self righteous and judgmental, etc”.

    The reality is that NOT drinking is the most alienating fucking thing on earth. Everybody does it, and you don’t. I would LOVE some friends who had a functional grasp of their own psychology and stuck with their own maskless selves. And honestly, do you even have to do it? Why the fuck should you? Do you have shoot heroin or rob banks? This is how you reach out to other people who feel the same way. What benefit is gained from trolling somebody, who probably feels alienated as fuck, attempting to hear some positive reassurance that somebody else feels the same way as them?

    The comments are like “Oh yes, wonderful, Tynan I agree with you but I’m gonna go do shots out of my mom’s asshole”, and “I understand some psychological terms or I read a magazine or I took it in school once, and you’re a big phony. I am going to critique your feelings because it makes me feel good about my own inhibitions”, or “Here are a bunch of bigotry-laden stereotypes about your post”. Fuck off.

  203. LMFAO!!! psycho analyse… LOOK AT ME I DON’T DRINK I’M BETTER THAN PEOPLE WHO DO DRINK!!! AND IM GONNA BRAG ABOUT IT VIA ONLINE BLOGGING!!! HAHA WHAT A JOKE YOU PEOPLE ARE!!!

  204. For the people that moaning about Tynan’s post, you do know there is nothing stopping you from refusing to read this site and that you was not forced to read any of this?.

    Unless you actually like the content and just looking for attention for your own ego, like you are claiming he is.

  205. I appreciate that you wrote about this. A lot of people drink, and it is hard to find people who don’t (Marvo).

    I used to drink before I was 21(!) I am now 39. I don’t know how I drank then. I never liked the taste of beer – it tasted like rotten pee.

    When I drank, I began to feel like I was poisoned. Perhaps it is my body, but if this is how people feel, I simply don’t understand why anyone would want to pour vile tasting poison down their throat over and over again. It boggles me.

    Thank You for being marvelous! Have an excellent day!

  206. Thank you so much for posting this article! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person in the world who detests drinking! I’m a girl and I hate drinking! 🙂

  207. I agree, drinking is just stupid and anything I ever gave a sip of was disgusting. I even one time said I’ll buy a glass of wine to go with a meal, sipped it went ‘ugh’ and pushed it away.
    I hate the fact people think they are so funny when drunk.
    A friend once tried to tell me of her drunken fun with a friend of hers.
    I was rolling my eyes while on the phone thinking ‘that’s not fun, shut up’
    Getting drunk is utterly stupid and don’t understand in the slightest why people would want to not remember what they are doing and act like a twat.
    Great article, wish I knew more people who didn’t drink.
    People at work go ‘we’ll get you drunk, we’ll take you out’. I go ‘you bloody will not’

  208. I must say, you are pretty high on that horse. You’ve never drank (maybe one here or there), yet you think people who drink are awful. You’ve never been there, so you have NO clue what it’s like. I know someone close to me who has been there and it’s not fun. But you can’t say anything, knowing you haven’t been in their shoes. Ignorant a-hole.

  209. hey just wondering why you don’t like people drinking when it’s their own decision. Them drinking has nothing to do with you.

  210. alcohol, smoking, drugs and meat is for degenerates

    the tree of evolution has 2 paths:
    the progression path and the regression path

    i chose the progression, the way of 0.2% of world population trying to build better worlds…

    i am the future

  211. I respect your decision to not drink or smoke. As a matter of fact im proud of you for keeping such a strong standing on this. I must say though that just because you do drink or smoke, that does not make you a bad person. I Drink and smoke weed, have a 3.4 in school. Active in clubs and have tons of friends who dont drink or smoke. I don’t think im a bad person. Its all about knowing yourself, if you dont want to drink or smoke thats fine. I do, do I force others to? no. If they tell me they want to try it am I going to say no? nope… Its all about keeping yourself under control and knowing your limits.

  212. I hate to tell you, but you have tryed it. I have a friend who is 22 and has never took a sip of alcohol… You can’t say you havent when you said you have. If I take a sip of water, im drinking water.

  213. LOL you don’t drink because deep down you are scared.

    Drugs are social lubricant, this is why people do them recreationally.

    Good luck in life dude

  214. When doing drugs know your limit.There are people i don’t mind being around that drink and there are people i can’t stand when they are drunk. There are sober people i can’t stand and when they drink they are actually kinda cool. Just don’t over do it and don’t think you are better than someone because you don’t drink.

  215. I loved this post. So many people think it’s cool to drink or do drugs. It’s not. They’ll make you and your family mserable, unhealthy, or they’ll kill you. Drink some water instead!

  216. “I’m a clinical psychologist, and have been one for five years now.. But what do I know? I’m just a doctor”

    Bullshit Leah.

    You write like a 12 year old..

  217. “I’m a clinical psychologist, and have been one for five years now.”

    Doesn’t imply that your comments are helpful, meaningful or strictly empirical.

    Some of us need a little more than “trust me, I’m a doctor!”

  218. This has to be the post that’s gotten Tynan the most traffic. Look at all of the ignorant fucks that are offended!

    Just because he doesn’t like drinking. Hilarious.

  219. I don’t drink. Things that taste like alcohol are vile, while things that don’t taste like alcohol taste like fruit juice, or coffee, or vanilla or chocolate milk, and I can have more of these things if there isn’t the risk of getting drunk, or the financially debilitating expense involved, so why bother at all? In addition to this, I know how I behave towards things that I like, so there’s a high likelihood of being unable to ever stop if I started.

    Curiously enough, though, I don’t mind other people who are drunk around me, and at parties I generally end up laughing and having a good time in the presence of the most intoxicated person in the room, and furthermore, I end up euphoric and involuntarily mimicking their behavior without having consumed anything myself. I don’t quite understand why this is.

  220. Also, your taste is not everyone’s taste. For example, @Tanja, I don’t like chocolate milk, it tastes like the worse parts of both chocolate and milk mixed with more sugar than should be legally allowed to exist.

    Give this post a rest, you don’t need to justify your position of drinking or not drinking to anyone.

  221. I commend all you people who don’t smoke, drink or do drugs. I think it’s important when you are young to maintain good health habits,because God only knows what will happen in the future to shake you to your very core. You had better have the faith to call on God to help you when your loved ones die, you are in pain from arthritis, you have glaucoma, (possibly) leukemia,etc. The drugs, (especially prescription) seem so innoccuous, to help with the pain. Then the wine. Well, it’s just wine…how could that hurt? I mean 1 glass (a full 10 oz. glass?) then 2, then 3. How about the pills that help you to sleep? Ambien to put you to sleep, Ativan to relax you. Am I begining to sound like Whitney? It’s a pain of the soul as well as the body, and I hope you never have to suffer from it. I love you all.

  222. I googled “are there people that don’t do drugs” because I truly feel like the only one at school. It just doesn’t interest me and I don’t want that to be my hobby. I might try it, yeah, but like you said I don’t want it to control me. I don’t drink because 1) i’m only 17 (not that that reason stops people) plus it’s not allowed in my religion. I don’t mind it but I would like to go wine tasting one day (i think you spit out the wine, right) and probably eat lady fingers coated with rum. I don’t know but I really think that finding friends and someone is going to be really hard.

  223. It is amazing your history and this guy I really need to tell him congratulations, I thought it was not a posibility that a guy be in abstenence without even take the drinks or drugs previously and had a bad experience, so he is a posibility. Life is so good and you can enjoy even more when you are awake and everyone else is drunk or drug, and about the drinks are some of them that are good, the once that does not taste the alcohol, so I realized I did not like either the alcohol and my stomach did not acept it. About the drugs is discontrol, I like to be in my senses.

  224. I dont know what to say, I came across this somewhere an I love it. I am the only person I know who has never tried alcohol, and mind you i am 21 so i could go buy it if i wanted. I’m proud of who I am and I will not change that. Reading this really made me positive about my choice to never drink. I would live to talk to you more about this topic, and am going to use this to sort of explain mu reason for not drinking. Thank you for putting this out there. 🙂

  225. I’m a student, 23, from the UK
    I don’t drink, except for the rare odd alcopop and a handful of sips of
    lager and wine, and I have never been drunk (not for any religious reason or
    because I have alcoholic parents or anything like that- drinking just never
    appealed to me). 

    This is nothing more than my own personal opinion on the
    matter, and I will try not to over-generalise and lump all drinkers into the
    same category.  Before I start (a little
    disclaimer if you will), I would like to state that I don’t believe alcohol in
    itself to be a bad thing, and I have absolutely nothing against people who
    drink solely for the taste.  If you enjoy
    the taste of a cold beer and can be trusted to drink within your limits, then I
    see no problem with that at all.  That’s
    your personal choice and I would be some sort of dictator to take that right
    away from you.  Likewise if you feel you
    need a couple of beers to help alleviate social nervousness, then that’s fine
    by me.  I don’t judge people who drink
    sensibly but as somebody said in another comment, it’s so hard to refrain from
    a negative view of drinking when I’m surrounded by the worst examples of
    it.  It’s this culture of ‘drinking to
    excess’ that I have a problem with.

    I’m not going to lie – I deeply resent the fact that
    regularly drinking alcohol to excess has such a central role in modern society,
    largely because it makes my life as a non-drinker that much more
    difficult.  It’s almost as if the ability
    to socialise nowadays is dependent on alcohol.

    As a student, there is no avoiding the presence of
    alcohol.  You are surrounded by
    activities and parties that are centred around nothing but drinking
    ridiculously to excess.  I know a few
    other students have mentioned in the comments here how difficult this makes
    life for a non-drinker – and it’s very true. 
    Practically everyone seems to make a habit of getting “smashed” on a
    regular basis and it’s so hard to socially connect with these people when you
    don’t.  Socialising and drinking go hand
    in hand and if you don’t drink, you will have to explain why.

    You can be absolutely sure that whenever I’m on a night-out,
    at a party or similar event, it’s just a matter of time before the inevitable
    question, “why don’t you drink?”  I’ve
    lost count of the amount of times I’ve had to field this question; usually with
    a short response along the lines of “It’s just my personal choice.  Beyond the simple fact that I don’t like the
    taste, the whole ‘getting smashed’ concept just does not appeal to me.”  I don’t openly flaunt it or preach it like it’s
    the gospel for everyone to hear (there’s no high-horse here), but this is never
    enough.  People will usually dismiss it
    as nonsense, call you stuck-up or boring, and then proceed to try to get you
    drunk (sometimes even to the point that the word “force” wouldn’t be totally
    out of place).  I’ve heard it all before,
    “it’s just one beer, what’s the big deal?” 
    And it’s this fact that drinkers can’t just respect and accept this
    personal choice, and look at you like you’re somehow strange or weird simply
    because you choose not to drink, that annoys me more than anything.  I don’t like the way drinkers are always
    trying to get you to be like them.   

    One of the comments below says, “No one is judging you for
    not drinking, so don’t be sanctimonious.” 
    This couldn’t be further from the truth. 
    To quote another comment, “the reality is that NOT drinking is the most
    alienating fucking thing on earth. Everybody does it, and you don’t.”  It’s such a social taboo these days and
    people do generally judge you when you tell them, and as alluded to above, you
    will be asked to explain your choice (cue accusations of being unsocialable and
    needing to “lighten up a little”).  This
    constant need to have to justify my life-style choice gets on my nerves. 

    A couple of drinks for “liquid courage” is a
    different thing, but it ought to be the heavy drinkers that need to have to
    justify their regular consumption of ridiculous amounts of alcohol for, from my
    personal perspective, no other real reason than it’s the “social norm” and they
    do it for conformity’s sake – just to be like everyone else and fit in.  In a lot of cases, it’s just a matter of
    giving in to peer-pressure because they feel the need to be accepted (even if
    it means drinking large amounts of alcohol that they secretly believe tastes
    vile).

    The bottom line is that being a non-drinker makes you a
    social outcast.  It’s got nothing to do
    with how fun you are as a person without alcohol, because drinking is so
    engrained in modern culture and the fact you don’t conform to the norm will be
    largely frowned upon.  You won’t be
    accepted as part of a group if you don’t drink. 
    I recognise that I might not in the best position to comment on “drunkenness”
    (having never been intoxicated in my life), but from my own experiences I can
    state that I can’t stand drunken behaviour. 
    I don’t understand why anyone would want to go down that path to a loss
    of self-control, vomiting, hangovers, partial memory loss and generally acting
    in an unpredictable and erratic manner.  I
    hate being in the company of drunk people (who think they’re the world’s funniest
    person all of sudden for doing nothing more than jumping around like a crazed
    lunatic) and usually end up leaving before the drinking gets out of hand
    because I don’t want to be around people who are acting in that way.  For me, it’s practically impossible to
    socialise and have a good time with a drunk when sober, and you will usually fall
    out of company in some way or another.         

    To end of this post, I will just state that I’m happy to be
    a non-drinker and I will not change that. 
    I do resent the fact that “binge-drinking” is such a central part of modern
    culture and that so many feel the need to partake for nothing more than
    conformity’s sake, and the fact that choosing not to drink makes life more
    difficult because in most cases it makes you a social outcast; but to this day,
    I stand by my stance that I don’t need or want the things that alcohol offers.  I’m capable of being happy, inhibition-free
    and having a good time without the need to down alcoholic beverages to the
    point that I throw up and can’t take more than two steps without falling over.

    Ben.  


  226. I’m 32 and I don’t drink. I can definitelt say I don’t know what it feels to be drunk, let alone having a hangover, because I have never gotten drunk. At most I have tried couple drops maybe every 2 years, usually during Xmas time or similar, when my family make me try some wine or champain, but I hardly can taste it on my lips and enough. These sips is what I have at most drank in my entire life, but to me the taste puts me off. So it was basically about the taste in the beginning. Then still the taste, but I was aware that it was in a way positive me not being attracted to alcoholic flavor (never got used in my teens, so then it was too late…).

    Water in the pub/bar? As if there were not other option… it’s funny. People are so fixated in alcoholic drinks, they forget there are other options, like juices, or ginger ale, or other non-alcoholic exotic drinks, or juices, or red bull or sodas (if you prefer that not so healthy option!). I have seen how friends wouldn’t go to the pub because they couldn’t drink. To me that made no sense.

  227. Oh…my…gosh. Where have you been all my life? This post is EXACTLY how I feel. Your comments on how “alcohol is a crutch” and that every drink you’ve ever tried is “gross” is spot on. I feel the same way and it really saddens me that too many people drink. They try to justify it by saying they only “drink socially” but you can socialize WITHOUT DRINKING. In fact, as you mentioned with your old group of friend, I feel you can actually have more fun socializing without drinking! I would MUCH rather sip on a soda, juice, or a slushie from Sonic than alcohol. You’re article is amazing. Thank you.

  228. I’m just like you; I’m eighteen and I’ve never taken a sip of alcohol in my life, nor do I plan to. (My choice is not based off anything religious.) I head off to college this fall, somewhere that’s both luring and frightening at the same time. I realize the chance of having a drink will be more eminent than ever in the next few years, but I’ve promised myself to remain steadfast and commit myself to what I know and love best – none of which involves using alcohol or other substances as a prop. Thanks for the article!

  229. I love you for this. Watching the freshmen in my uni get smashed and thinking that they’re acting like adults freaks the hell out of me. 

  230. Getting “out of your head” is great – but drugs and alcohol greatly increase the likelihood that once you return to your head it will be attached to a body lying on a bed in a jail cell.  That’s no fun – trust me.

    I was an epic drinker and smoker and ended up having to work very hard to get rid of both.  It wasn’t just the habits themselves either – but all the drinkers and smokers that come along with drinking and smoking.

    Props!

  231. You don’t drink for the exact same reasons I don’t. I’ve tried sips of alcoholic beverages that were supposed to be good and they were horrible. It seems like everyone around me drinks, smokes, does drugs, or they do all three (usually at the same time) and since I don’t do those things, I’ve become sort of an outcast. It’s tough when you have no one around you that shares your beliefs. I did have one friend, but she recently was swallowed up by the “party” crowd and I don’t even recognize her anymore. The hardest thing ever was learning that my best friend, we’ve known each other since we were babies, drank. She was never like that and I was taken back when I learnt she has been drunk before. I try not to let it ruin a relationship, but it seriously lessens my respect and admiration for the person. If people want to party and drink their lives away, go right ahead. But that isn’t my scene and it never will be. 

  232. I like the taste of certain drinks. Other than that and having an occasional one, I really don’t care to overindulge in it. I have before, sure, but I also understand there’s no point in harming your body so clearly by overindulging in it.

  233. Couldn’t agree with you anymore. I feel the bigger problem is people who drink just doesn’t leave you the way you are and respect your choice. Because they believe it’s such a great thing to do, they would force you to do it somehow. And that’s where things get ugly.

  234. I drink because I just love really bitter beer! I love beer that “bites” my tongue. It’s my favorite way to relax in the evening. But don’t worry. no interest in converting you here. To each his own. Cheers!

  235. I’m glad you explained your opinion in such a detailed way, and that people are giving such insightful thoughts on all views. It helps us all to understand what people are thinking about alcohol, an area which happens to be very fuzzy to me.

    I found your post because today was my 21st birthday party and my friends ordered a drink for me. It was very syrupy and sweet to cover up the alcohol because they knew I did not like its taste or smell. I will say I was scared at first which is understandable because I don’t have a lot of experience or exposure to alcohol and alcohol is so hyped up as something that will dramatically change you. It’s a big topic. Look at prohibition. There’s also something going on with my taste buds and olfactory glands to make me have a repulsion towards the taste and smell of alcohol, like taking Robitussin. Everyone is different. In middle school science class, we were given a strip of paper with a certain chemical on it and everyone licked their paper at the same time. Some of us ran out to wash our mouths out because the paper tasted disgusting, while others just sat there wondering what was going on; they couldn’t taste anything at all.

    So I was really hesitant to drink it. Yes, I was a bit nervous, but I’ve eaten stinky tofu and durian before so taking a sip of this drink was definitely doable in comparison. I stirred the drink for a several minutes and finally took a sip, evaluating the taste in my mouth. I could taste pineapple, watermelon, and other tropical fruit syrups, and an almost carbonated tickle on my tongue. No taste of the alcohol (rum), although it was probably there but just covered up by the globs of syrup. I’ve had rum cake before and could distinctly taste the rum in that.

    I thought that was the end, but it was not. Everyone expected me to finish the drink, which I understand because they know it will make me looser and more able to “enjoy” things. The thought was coming from a good place (for the most part). I took a couple more sips throughout the night but could not justify any reasons to finish it instead of getting a free cup of water, and the reasons were the following:

    – taste

    – trust

    – drama

    – indifference

    – embarrassment

    If I don’t like the taste of alcohol, I will not drink something that is trying to mask it. That’s sneaky. I did not trust everyone around me to keep things I say to them a secret and to respect my intimate, most private feelings. Who knows if they will use them against me later. There was a girl there trying to fish for secrets out of me and to get me to diss her in public, and drama is more likely to ensue if I consume alcohol. Who likes drama. I am already pretty uninhibited for things I like to do, like cracking stupid jokes and dancing in public and so don’t see the need for alcohol’s inhibition-lowering effects. Indifference. Finally, I like having self-control at all times and would be embarrassed to be seen stumbling around or being incoherent.

    The main discomfort at the party and what many inexperienced drinkers may have felt was that one guy grew impatient with me, thinking I was too scared to drink. Have you seen the scene from Back to the Future where McFly goes, “nobody calls me a chicken.” That pretty much sums it up. A lot of us feel a lack of understanding, that people write us off as chickens, which is upsetting! What we really wish is for people to pat us on the back and let us do whatever we want. That’s what we do.

  236. I’m sitting alone in my hotel in Greece while my friend when out to party and drink. After this trip with her I thought I was the only person who did not enjoy alcohol or drunkenness. Thank you for posting this. I needed to know I was not the only one who felt this way.

  237. I really enjoyed reading this post! I found I could relate to many parts of it. Like you, I had friends in high school who weren’t into drinking/smoking and I thought I was super lucky to have found people like that (especially because it was hard to remain friends at that age if you don’t drink, at least at my school). However, senior year rolled around and they starting drinking. They didn’t bother inviting me and that drew a line. I went off to college and they stayed at the local community college and despite coming home every summer, I became the outsider. I am about to turn 21 and I am worried about being excluded because I don’t drink! I never liked the taste, sensation, and also…I have a huge major reason not to drink recently: my brother is an alcoholic (and my parents are dependent on it, they have 2-3 bottles of wine every night), that makes my chances of having alcohol control me skyrocket! Anyway, sorry for my rambling, I just hope I can be like you – confident in not drinking and have friends who will accept that. Drinking is just such a part of hanging out, relaxing, and even business relationships that I am afraid that not drinking will put a line between friends again, and romantic and business relationships. Anyway, thanks for the post! It’s nice to know I am not alone.

  238. The first effect (long before any significant motor-skill impairment) of alcohol is to shut down the pre-frontal cortex. I suspect that is why so many failed relationships start in a bar.

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