My Stalker Is Awesome

I don’t know if most people would want a stalker or not, but I have one and I think it’s great. Technically she may be more of a secret admirer, but I don’t have any proof that she admires me, and I do have proof that she’s crafty enough to find my addresses. There’s also been some speculation that she isn’t actually a hot girl, but is someone playing a trick on me.

I walk into work and see a large envelope sitting on my desk. Hmm… I’m not expecting anything. I look at the to address.

“Black Ty”

Wait… last time I got an envelope… I glance at the from address. It’s a smiley face.

Remember when I got a sticker in the mail? It’s the same girl.

I tear open the envelope and look inside. There’s a single piece of paper folded in half. I open it up.

My attention is immediately drawn to the middle. There’s a topless photo of a rather attractive girl. The photo ends at her neck.

There’s also text on the page, cut from magazines. It says “I’m at one with my duality”.

What does that mean? I look it up and it’s some sort of quote. I don’t really get it or understand what it’s supposed to mean. Out of all the phrases she could have chosen, why that one? Maybe she just likes it.

I bring the envelope into the room next door and we examine it. The two girls don’t believe that it’s the same girl. They think someone reading this site wrote a copycat letter.

I’m not sure. The handwriting looks the same, but one smiley face has a nose and the other doesn’t. One is addressed to “Black Ty” and the other to “Black Tie”.

I go back to my desk and think. Then I remember that the first envelope had perfume in it. I smell the other envelope – same perfume.

So anyway, secret admirer / stalker, thanks for making my life a little more interesting. If you somehow figure out my new address I will be seriously impressed or assume you’re really one of my friends playing a prank on me.

Oh, and for those of you who aren’t my stalker, here are some pictures :


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7 responses to “My Stalker Is Awesome”

  1. Stewen Wright Avatar
    Stewen Wright

    Heeeey I wanted to see those tits! 🙂

  2. Hu_Hefner Avatar
    Hu_Hefner

    “I’m at one with my duality” is a bit of a play on words.
    1… dual… get it?
    Almost sounds like something one might see on a bumper sticker.

    Kinda like “I’m a schizophrenic and so am I”, or “I can’t figure out if I am indecisive or not”

    I suspect that this person is a man. A man that has access to a picture of breasts and some perfume, which are certainly not hard to obtain.

    How fun would it be if it was the guy that took the 3 dollars, and that a lot of the people you encounter each day have teamed up just to mess with your head.

  3. Randi Avatar
    Randi

    I thought the return email address was from NJ last time and its PA this time. Is she moving around to eventually seek you out in the flesh?

  4. Kristen Avatar
    Kristen

    It is most DEFINITELY a male to female transgender. That’s the duality. Do the tits look real? Seriously- it is so some tranny.

    And to everyone else: HAH. Next time I see Tynan, I get to see me somma them boobies. He promised.

  5. Todd Avatar
    Todd

    For the record, I think the perfume was different.

  6. superkain Avatar
    superkain

    That is fantastic. One day, I too will upgrade my stalker and receive nekid photos!

  7. Hen Avatar
    Hen

    What about the fact that she said “Ty” in one letter and “Tie” for the other. That’s a duality but they’re both addressed to YOU. Therefor, YOU’RE at one with YOUR duality. Yes? No? Maybe?

    Also, she’s supposed to say that she’s “one with her duality”… there shouldn’t be an AT. The mistake could be intentional but I doubt it.

    OR, the word duality has to do with her name somehow.

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