I’ve always wanted to be a leader. For the longest time I didn’t know what it actually meant to be a leader, so my aspiration was probably just because I wanted the prestige of being a leader. I guess I also didn’t like taking orders from anyone, so I figured there was no other place for me.
My idea of how to become a leader was even worse than my motivations for being one. I thought that I should just act aloof and slightly superior to everyone, and that that would make them naturally assume I’m a leader. This sounds incredibly stupid, which it was, but it’s also quite common. I see people doing this all the time.
Luckily I was exposed to a lot of real leaders, I got to observe how they interact with others, and I learned what a leader truly is. From that experience, I present to you the five steps to become a leader.
1. Make things happen for people. A leader is the person with the most responsibility, and the way you get responsibility is by taking it. A great way to do this is to organize things for people you know. I sometimes organize trips for my friends, my friend Nick is always organizing tours and parties for his friends, my friend Elliot always seems to be hosting barbecues and parties for his friends.
I didn’t realize this at first, but leadership isn’t about what the leader gets from people who consider him a leader; it’s about what he gives to them.
2. Solve all problems. Leaders are reliable, confident people. When something goes wrong, even if it’s not your responsibility, be willing to step up and be the one who deals with it. For example, when my friends and I bought a school bus in college, my friend Austin was always the one who would solve problem that cropped up. He dealt with the registration of the bus, the insurance, and even finding us places to keep it. We bought into the bus as equals, but because of all that he did, I always thought of him as one of the leaders of our group.
3. Be fair and honest. The act of leading is the act of taking on the responsibilities naturally assigned to others. Our elected officials have power because we allow them to make decisions for us. CEOs are leaders because their subordinates trust them to make decisions that will affect everyone. The more fair and honest you are, the more willingly people will allow you to lead them.
I manage the investments of several of my friends and family. If they didn’t believe that I was completely honest and well-intentioned, they would have never given me such an important responsibility.
4. Be as confident as you deserve to be. As discussed above, the bulk of being a leader isn’t based on natural ability, it’s based on willingness. Anyone can be willing to make things happen for people, to fix things that go wrong, and to be a fair and honest person. Because this is all under your own control, you should feel confident that you can execute those duties.
5. Recognize that any given group can have many leaders. I didn’t consciously realize it until I went to Japan with nine friends last spring, and Sebastian commented that almost everyone in our group was a leader. I looked around and realized that he was right.
In most situations there’s no need for one absolute leader, and it’s actually better for several members of the group to take the lead on different things. Everyone will have their own strengths and interests, and if those are coupled with the attributes of a leader, everyone in the group can benefit.
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I used to think that being a leader was a good thing because of how it would reflect on me. I guess that is a benefit, but the real reason I’m happy to be something of a leader is because it’s the path that allows me to be fully engaged in life. I get to make change, improve the lives of those closest to me, and experience more than I would be able to otherwise.
If you don’t consider yourself to be a leader, I’d suggest giving these steps a try for a month or two, even if it’s outside your comfort zone. Even if you decide it’s not for you, which is definitely true for many people, you will have gained perspective and probably done some nice things for your friends.
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Photo is a view of Central Park in NY.
I feel like my writing has been pretty mediocre recently. I’ve got a lot of other stuff going on, some of which will develop into exciting blog posts. So bear with me, and spend your time reading Leo’s new blog, Unschoolery.
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