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As I may have mentioned before, I am a huge fan of cruises. Although I haven't gone on one yet this year, I usually go on at least one or two every year. Where the cruise actually goes is wholly unimportant to me. Half the time I sleep through the stops anyway, and just stay on the boat. I just like having no cell phone, having great food available 24/7, and sitting on the back of the boat watching the waves.

It takes a certain type of person to enjoy a cruise. Usually that person is an old person. My friend Jonah and I are the two exceptions. I think we've gone on two cruises together, and each time we were the only people remotely close to our age. So much for meeting the hot ladies pirate-style.

On one such cruise we woke up at our usual time - 3pm. The boat was docked in Mexico, and was leaving at 5:30, meaning that everyone had to be on the boat at 5.

The Magic Of Actually Talking To People!

On Linus Rylander

"Hey! How is your day going?"

"Hey, great! (BIG SMILE) ... You?"

"Good, but it's rainy and wet and like a couple of retards we only packed sweaters and we don't have an umbrella either."

"Oh! One of my customers left her umbrella here this morning. Do you want it?"

"Uhh... YES!"

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