Ladies? Yeah! Ladies! Yeah? Wanna roll in my Mercedes? Hell yeah! Then shake it! Shake it! Shake that healthy butt.
Baby got back.
Ahem. Ladies.. this one's for you. Indirectly, it's for me. Today we're going to take a critical and mildly chauvinistic look at what makes a woman more attractive to a guy.
This story is one of the first really interesting and bizarre things that happened to me. It's a tale chock full of twists, crime, and deceit, guaranteed to satisfy even the most discriminating BtyB reader.
It takes place when I was a sophomore in high school, before I had any clue whatsoever regarding women. Despite my objective inexperience, I had managed to attract my first real girlfriend. I'll write the full story some day on how I met her... believe it or not, I won her over by memorizing more digits of pi than she memorized. Let's all pretend I didn't just admit that. Anyway, she was very attractive, super cool, and perhaps the most compatible girlfriend I've ever had. Now she is a fighter (like amateur UFC or something) and a stripper. Her name is Allison.
One of my good friends at the time was a fellow named Charles. There always seemed to be something a bit odd about him, but I wasn't sure what it was. Later I would learn that he had been sent to juvenile detention for attempting to stab his stepfather.
Ok, so I was just writing about my goals and realized that I wasn't doing nearly enough. So this is going to be my public challenge to myself to see how much I can improve my life in one month. That's all there is to the challenge - no rules, no goals, and no excuses. I have a pretty great life, but I know I can do MUCH better, and I owe it to myself to do so.
I've found that many things I do during the day don't really make a lasting change in my life. But one small thing, like installing the bluetooth car kit in my car, makes it much more convenient for me every time I drive. Going through my bank statement and finding monthly charges I can do away with saves me money for the rest of the year, and calling an old friend that I've lost touch with can bring another positive person into my life.
This month I am going to ask myself whether or not what I'm doing at any moment is contributing to my future. I'll answer myself honestly and adjust accordingly. Little things that will stick with me are valuable too... if I made 30 small improvements that will help me for the rest of my life, I would be thrilled. How can I not find at least one a day?
So back in January, I wrote out my 7 goals for the year. It's been two months, so let's see how I'm doing :
1. Become FULLY polyphasic
I'm close on this one. Many days I go perfectly, sometimes if I have nothing to do I oversleep and then skip some naps during the day. I'm actually pretty satisfied with that, as I'm only sleeping 2.5-4.5 hours per night, I'm never tired, and can always count on being awake early and staying up late. I'll keep pressing to be more consistent, but I'm satisfied with where I am.
In Texas we have deer like other states have squirrels. Yes, everything really is bigger in Texas. I had lived in Texas for 9 years or so, and had never once hit one. Most people have at least one deer-collision story, so I considered myself lucky. I left my house in Austin late on December 31, and hit two deer at the same time as I left the city. Was that an omen?
My car was so crammed with stuff that I probably couldn't have fit a toaster in it, unless I wanted it on my lap. I had a long drive ahead of me, but was so excited that my thoughts over a background of road noise kept me entertained.
For those who know me... well, even for people don't, it will come as no surprise when I say that I'm not a very humble person. I'm awesome, I'm aware of it, and I have no qualms making others aware of it. I pride myself on being self sufficient, and am generally of the opinion that if left on a deserted island I would not only survive, but flourish and create a civilization greater than the one we know now.
Anyone who was hoping I would some day be put in my place will probably really enjoy this post.
My mother and I had a bit of a tenuous relationship while I was in school. I would assure her that I was doing my homework, studying, and receiving good grades. My report cards would assure her otherwise, and usually she took their word over mine. We got along well, but the massive arguments spawned from school related issues cast a cloud over our relationship. Guess which parent accounts for my stubbornness and penchant for arguing.
A quick background - I love Mercedes cars. As a kid my dad had one for a few years (incidentally, he hated it) and I always liked riding it. When we went to the dealership I would be drawn in by the pro-Mercedes anti-BMW propaganda.
When I bought my first car with my own money, it was a 1985 Mercedes 380SE. It was ten years old at the time, was the first car I'd even test driven, but I really loved the car. Even though it was so old it had good features and was fun to drive. Two months later, it broke.
Several years later I bought my second Mercedes, a 1994 E320 Coupe. I've always been a huge fan of the Mercedes Coupes. For one they have really cool four place seating, so instead of three squished seats in the back you have two full ones with a console in the middle. Their lines are beautiful, and they're fairly rare. I actually still have that car, although my brother, Devon, drives it right now.
YES! Thanks to JOOOOOOODI
Today's story is dedicated to my good friend Austin. I moved from Boston to Austin my freshman year of high school and of course had no friends here. On the very first day I made friends with the people who remain my best friends to this day, and I consider that to be perhaps the most fortunate event of my life.
One of those friends is Austin. Now in the military flying whirly-copters, he used to be the one guy (well, actually I could pretty much always count on Terry too) who would always be in for a crazy plan.
This scheme fell right into our laps.
I'm heading out to Boston for a few days, starting today. What does that mean to you? It means that I'll probably be lazy with updates because I just had to buy the world's smallest laptop. It's extremely portable, of course, but is also nearly impossible to type long posts on. Nevertheless, I'm going to try to finish one on the plane.
Actually, because instead of actually planning this trip I just randomly bought a plane ticket and told people I was coming a couple days before, I am stuck with very little to do. So if you are a fine young lady in the Boston area, e-mail me. Do it!