I've long considered myself a fantastic buyer. Notice I don't say shopper - that alludes to a hobby or form of entertainment. To me, buying is serious business.

Even before I had any serious degree of financial success, many people assumed I was rich because of my material posessions. I guess most people could pull that off by maxing credit cards, but I was actually socking money away for later.

How do I do it? Read on...

The most important thing to remember is value. Sounds obvious, but nearly everyone ignores value on a daily basis. Value means that you're getting the most for your money - not that you're saving the most money necessarily. A Rolex at $1000 might be an incredible value, but a Timex could be a rip off at $150.

I used to walk into McDonalds and often times I wouldn't be charged for my food. Why? Because I went there so frequently and brought so many friends, that they knew I was good for business. My favorite meal was the Fishwich, a mighty sandwich made with a bun, american cheese, a deep fried fish patty, and a generous portion of tartar sauce. To fully sate my appetite I always supersized.

My parents had always encouraged me to eat healthy. I just didn't see the point. I felt good, I wasn't fat, and I never got sick. Why fix what isn't broken? I was thankful for my good metabolism and assumed that eating healthy was for people who didn't have it so good.

Then a couple years ago I watched Super Size Me. I watched it for entertainment, but it was the first time I began to believe that what I ate actually mattered. If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. When subjected to a McDonalds only diet, the creator became depressed, lethargic, and generally didn't feel too well. That was the day I stopped eating fast food.

This is part of an ongoing series. If you haven't read them already, read :

How I became a Famous Pickup Artist Part 1
and
How I became a Famous Pickup Artist Part 2

I wrote out this entire post before, and then the computer crashed and I lost it all, so I haven't felt like working on it. Finally, I'm biting the bullet and starting over :

I quickly fell asleep for my polynap and drifted off into dreamland.

In my dream I was at a community college, waiting to speak to a counselor. I hadn't put my name down on the list yet, so I was just mulling around the waiting room. I was feeling good because for some reason I knew this was my last semester and I was going to drop out. I was particularly looking forward to telling the counselor that I was dropping out.

While I was waiting, there were two other students I noticed. One guy had the exact same laptop as I. When he was done using it, he put it down on the desk in front of me. I thought that was strange, and wondered if perhaps it was actually my laptop. I couldn't tell, and didn't want to take it if it wasn't mine.

So... what's the best way to get famous? Clearly, piggypacking of someone else's career. I mean, look at how Benzino dissed Eminem to get in the spotlight a couple years ago.

Kevin Federline has released an abortion of a song called "PopoZao", which features idiotic choruses and a full twenty seconds of him actually rapping. If he wasn't piggy backing off of Britney Spears, I'm pretty sure not a single person would listen to his song.

So, in an effort for me to become a famous rapper, I'm going to piggy back off of HIS "fame". It's a solid plan. I've written a song making fun of what a retard he is, particularly referencing a video that was released of him jamming out to his own song.

Alright, rocketeers... this post is on a subject that's near and dear to my heart.

Whenever people hear about the polyphasic sleep schedule, they come up with reasons they couldn't do it. I don't know why... It's really awesome and everyone should want to do it. By far the most common excuse is :

"But I love my sleep. I would never want to give it up."

Terry and I went to Krunkaoke as usual, but things didn't quite go quite right.

I decided to change one of the verses to one of my own design. The plan is to slowly keep doing that until I'm just doing original songs and basically get to practice having a concert.

Also exciting was Terry's new rap name : T-Nugget. This allows us to replace "nigga" with "nugget" which sounds close enough that songs sound good.

Good question.

I don't really have a great answer, though. Last night I had nearly finished Part 3 of the pickup artist story (keep in mind every article takes me 1-2 hours to write), and then my stupid computer crashed and I lost the whole thing.

The other problem is that although I was kicking ass and I didn't oversleep for three days straight, I then got cocky and did a really hard workout. The result? I've been exhausted for the past two days, and both times I overslept through the time that I had designated for writing an entry.

Hey guys... sorry about the lack of updates for a couple days. Believe it or not, I'm working on a cool little project that I want to write about. Honest. That's my excuse.

Anyway, a few days ago I saw a contest at gizmodo with a pretty sweet prize - a Lenovo (IBM) Thinkpad worth $1500. The task? Make a 60 second film noir movie.

I've never actually made a short or anything before. In fact, I'd never really edited video. But what's a better way of learning than jumping in head first? Besides, with the polyphasic thing going, I have time to enter every contest I see (by the way - no oversleeping or tiredness for the past 3 days!).

My friend Jonah decided that he was going to break off his long standing relationship with the more common bills and use two dollar bills as the primary fodder in his wallet. I thought it was ingenious. Here's why:

I never like copying people's quirks, but this one is too good. I told him that I wanted to copy it, but whenever anyone remarked how cool it was, I would give him credit. He agreed.

I went to the bank yesterday and as I was leaving, I remembered that I wanted to get some deuces (oh, did I mention how cool all the nicknames are for them?). They had just gotten a shipment in, so I got my hands on a freshly minted stack of 100 sequentially numbered two dollar bills. Thanks for the idea, Jonah!