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It's the Final Countdown

I have two weeks left in Austin and ten days in Boston. When we first decided to go on the trip six months ago it seemed like it would take forever. Now every day seems to fly by before I can make any progress on my list of stuff-I-must-do-before-I-go.

Of course, the one thing I've had no problem doing is buying the gear necessary to leave. I'll post a complete list of every single thing I'm bringing with me... some of which will probably surprise people.

We still haven't found anywhere to live in Panama yet. I send e-mails to people on Craigslist in Panama, but nothing good has surfaced yet.

The Struggle

On The Best of Sett

Sometimes the momentum of life begins to swing against you and your dreams. It's not that failure has gotten the best of you yet. But the momentum of your struggle has turned. For me there are a number of factors. I've been tired lately. I'm showing signs of burning out but not for all the right reasons. I'm struggling with a few health factors, and some personal factors that agitate the health factors.

For me sometimes not having family really affects me. I spend hours pondering what they are doing, and the WHY of my life. Reflecting on the pain, and the scars. It begins to effect my work, my motivation, and all factors of my life. I went to a counselor a few times this month. I joined an online support group about living life without a family. What's interesting is I don't have the answers. And neither did the counselor.

There's no magic solution. This happens to me nearly every year. Sometimes it lasts for a few weeks, other times for months.

Sometimes I'm so scared to lose people in my life that I push them away so I don't have to deal with this pain. Because many times in my life when I've opened my heart I ended up losing the people I loved the most.

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