Maybe in some parts of the world. But I find just the opposite to be true as well. As a socially skilled person who does engage others in the ways you mention,, I am constantly treated as actually less than the stranger or new customer. Instead of receiving extra attention, or that mythical "this one is on the house," I'm met with indifference and my order made secondary to some other menial task the server or bartender has made a higher priority than any customer.

I find this is particularly bad with females, but is starting to became common with males as well. You can say it's me, but I know that it's not, as I can literally charm the pants off girls, and engage great and small alike. I even had established politicians suggest I run for office after a brief encounter with me. So I don't think it's me.

It may just be that I'm in an area that caters to many tourists and this servers behave this way in general as they too are as transient as the tourists. But that shouldn't be the case, and there are still examples of dealing with venues and staff over a long enough period to experience what you describe here.

I'm starting to think the last generations have lost sight of the value of reciprocity, and are taking others for granted. Or perhaps it's just that reciprocity is only extended to one's own generation, and not to others. Either way, it's costing the businesses, and their staffs, big money, as the list of businesses I will never patronize again continues to grow.