Wow. Awesome. I always thought people who claimed they "never got angry" are full of it, and totally out of touch with their emotions; that one day...ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOSE. I think there are people, who, like you, don't get angry. I also think there are those who deny they get angry who really DO get angry...like my boyfriend. But I have changed my mind about thinking you're full of it. I actually believe it MAY be possible.
I am going to ask myself that question, from now on. I get angry so easily. I know it's because my fragile ego is wrapped up in such stupid, petty stuff. I know it comes from the feeling of powerlessness and that powerlessness spells INJUSTICE, and after painting myself a victim for so long, in my head, injustice triggers a rage-like response.
My boyfriend was an insenstive jerk to me the other night. i layed in his bed, stewing in it for a while, and decided to just leave while snored his head off. I was quietly trying to leave, and just "call it a night." He hopped out of bed and immediately started yelling and demanding I tell him WHY I was SO ANGRY and LEAVING. The fact was, I wasn't angry. I thought, "Wow...you're sort of a jerk," but that was the end of it. I was tired, and couldn't really sleep in his bed. I just wanted to go home and chill out. The problem came when I reacted to his reaction. I felt a FEAR or defense response in me. I rose up to defend myself and feeling as though I HAD to, is actually what made me angry.(he injustice of being accused of being angry when I wasn't angry, actually evoked anger in me. UGH!) I was really angry at MYSELF. Crazy. I think if I ask the right question of myself, I can diffuse it. GOd, I hope so. I would be so much happier, which is what I really want. I don't want that reptilian response, and toxic relationships. I want to have more control over my emotions AS I deal with them. Thanks a million for your blog.