As humans, we are a bizarre mix of ancient animal instincts and newer logical insights. I'm not sure if the difference between individual emotional responses is biological, developmental, or some combination of both, but I do believe that once our emotional patterns have been developed, we can't change them. We can alter the way we respond to an emotional stimulus, but we can't alter the existence, or non-existence, of the emotion itself.
I don't feel anger, or worry. I have always considered both of these emotions to be useless. If I'm in a bad situation, there's either something I can do about it, or there isn't. If I can find the solution, then viola, problem solved, and I move on. If there is no solution that will yield a positive outcome, then I stop worrying. If there's nothing I can do about it, worrying won't help at all. Anger is much the same way.
If I'm cut off in traffic, I assume the other person didn't see me, or that they just really needed to be in the other lane, and they feel really bad about it. If someone hurts my feelings, I assume they didn't mean to. After all, most of us hate it when we hurt others. If someone else needs to insult me to make themselves feel better, I pity them. They must be a very unhappy person to be wandering through their life, spreading misery where ever they go. Also, if I let a negative person ruin my day, then they win.
Maybe it's naive to always try to see the best in others, but it makes me a much happier person. And after all, if you're looking for the worst in others, that's all you'll ever find.
I'm not saying that every day is sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows. I feel sad just like other people. But I CONFRONT MY SADNESS. I look at it. I analyze it. I ask it questions. I make sure I know exactly why I am feeling my feelings. I let myself feel it when it's my fault or when the fault lies with another. I do not let my sadness turn into less productive emotions, like fear or anger or worry.
People talk about logic and feelings like they are completely separate things, but they aren't. An emotional reaction is instinct, but the context comes from the thinking part of your brain. If someone cuts you off in traffic, the emotional reaction is "Hey, that was rude!" And then you get to make a choice.
Option 1: "Hey, that was rude! That guy must be a total jerk who thinks he can disrespect whoever he wants!"
Option 2: "Hey, that was rude! That guy must not be familiar with this part of town, and didn't realize his turn was coming up soon."
The main difference between these two scenarios isn't how the person perceives the offensive driver. It's how they view themselves in the situation. In the first scenario, the feeler has turned themselves into a victim. In the second scenario, they have shown concern and compassion for the plight of the rude driver, putting themselves in the position of power.
If you choose to show compassion and empathy to people, even when they are behaving in a way that makes you want to punch them, you can live your life in a place of peace instead of a place of anger. All you have to do, is choose to be the bigger person.