All it needs is a fat, lazy security guard from Mesa. He could be like this: He was a tall man, big and fat, with roll after roll of fat. He was dumb, no higher education, and devoid of ambition. He was ugly, real ugly, so ugly you’d have to put a bag on his head. But that wouldn’t matter. He’s too fat to be on top anyway. He smiles showing missing teeth with the rest so rotten his breath smells like his other end. He says he’s looking for someone to support him, as he pulls out a cheap pez dispenser to pop all of the candy in his mouth. Need food, he mutters. Need it bad. It’s like a drug to him. He flips through a book of poetry, hoping to find words to impress some innocent women into thinking he can talk or write. Gotta have a woman to support me, he smiles. He looks like a hillbilly. Too lazy to work or get a real job. Too lazy to get his teeth fixed. Too lazy to take care of his wife. I can’t breathe he cries. He’s so fat he can barely walk. Need more moles. AS if he is not ugly enough.