I once was that person that never drank, smoked cigarettes, or did any drugs. Over the years I became a binge drinker, started smoking cigarettes, and then progressed to smoking pot. The smoking always came after I was already drunk.. inhibitions were down and I thought "heck, why not?". I initially started drinking when I was 18 and looking back I wish I never had. At first it was just a few beers during high school parties. Throughout college the beer drinking progressed to hard alcohol. I didn't know my limit. I would black out and be hung over all the time. During college I drank because that's what we did for fun to get a release from studying and exams. Soon after graduating, I started drinking for other reasons. I didn't know what to do after college.. I couldn't find a job in my field of study, felt like a failure, was depressed, lonely. I drank to forget how terrible my life was but I would always feel worse the next day. Then I would drink again to get over feeling that was more terrible. And the cycle continued. I eventually was able to control my alcohol intake and limited the occasions I would drink. However, when I start feeling depressed or angry I notice I always end up drinking uncontrollably. It's not until recently that I thought I may be an alcoholic. In the past year I went out to drink about 10 times or so.. limiting to 2-5 drinks. But I know that once I start having bad feelings, I have a chance of going over my limit. I have committed to being 100% sober. I just can't risk it anymore. It's sad that it has taken me almost 10 years to realize it. Don't drink to run from your problems.. it only makes it worse. I'm trying to learn how to cope with my problems without grabbing the bottle. Although I don't drink uncontrollably like before.. i know that alcoholic is in me somewhere.