I really know how you feel regarding finding someone else who doesn't drink. I'm 21 and I've never had a sip of alcohol.
I don't know what it tastes like. I've never been to a party. I chose not to drink for many of the reasons you did; mostly because of control. I don't like the idea that I wouldn't be able to have control over myself and I certainly don't like the idea of being in a place where no one else has control of themselves.
Another reason I never had alcohol was because of what it did to everyone I know. I live in Wisconsin where the number one thing to do for entertainment is honestly drinking. I spent a lot of time through High School and college by myself but I was determined to find someone who wasn't so saturated with drinking and partying. Guys would ask me out and I simply asked them if they liked to drink. People often thought I had a superiority complex but I just didn't want to deal with a drinker and I also didn't want someone in my life who would possibly push me to drink or do stupid things while under the influence of alcohol.
I also like my body; health and sports are just a huge part of my life. As an athlete I choose not to drink to keep my competitive edge. I won't even drink soda so I am pretty strict.
Hang in there, though. I met the hottest guy in the world and a winter sports fanatic (we're teaching each other a lot). You will find someone even if it takes a while. I'm glad about waiting to find him as opposed to just giving in. I remember guys actually telling me they wouldn't date me only because I didn't drink. It was sad for a while but I hung tough. It helps that I was never the kind of girl that was DESPERATE for a guy. I like myself and don't need a guy to make me better.