I sometimes bite my nails... is that raw food? :)

I eate my grilfriend out, but Im too impatient to cook her first.

I guess vegan is the fastest way of life,you can mown your lawn and eat at the same time!

I left my meat in a fridge for too long and it got that green fuzzy grass on it, I eate it anyway. Does that make me half a vegan?

(My first standup is comming soon :)