As you must know if you read my blog regularly, I really enjoy making extreme resolutions and then sticking to them. One was deciding in 2012 that I wouldn’t date until 2015.
I had a weird mental shift in 2012. I’ve always wanted to settle down and start a family, but until 2012 I would add the word “eventually” to the sentence. At some point a switch flipped and I realized that if the next girl I dated ended up being the one I settled down with, I was ready.
Being in the early stages of a startup, I didn’t feel like I had time to invest in a relationship like that. And I wanted to really focus on work. So, much to the chagrin of grandchild-wanting family members, I stopped dating.
Overall, it worked. Three years may have been a little bit too long, and there were definitely times I wished I was dating, but overall I had great focus and made good progress. I’d give the experiment a B+.
So now it’s time to start dating again. Years ago I sat down with a well-known blogger as he began to date again. He asked for my advice, and I told him that he should write a big blog post about it and put what he wanted out there. He balked, and I couldn’t understand why.
Now I understand. It’s awkward to make yourself so vulnerable, to put it all out publicly. But I still think it’s good advice, so I’ll take it myself.
I’ve thought a lot about what I’m looking for. I think it’s an important question, as the answer could end up impacting my life (and the life of someone else) significantly. I read an article saying that you only really get to pick three “dealbreaker” level things before you get to the realm of statistically impossible, so I’ve tried to narrow it down.
1. Love and Excitement For The World
A girl who loves the world is generally happy because she knows how lucky she is to be born into such a place. She learns everything she can about the world and travels around to see it and experience it.
This is really number one for me because it’s such a fundamental part of how I see the world. There’s a lot I don’t know about where my life will lead me, but I know that this attitude will guide it.
2. Self Improvement
Maybe she doesn’t go to Tony Robbins seminars, but she has the awareness and humility to constantly try to improve. When she learns about some new skill, her first inclination is to learn it. When she isn’t getting what she wants in life, she looks within and makes changes to rise up to the challenge.
I find this irresistibly attractive. So many people, men and women, coast when they can. I love the drive it takes for someone to push herself to constantly get better. I think this is also a very good indicator that she will put work into building the relationship when necessary.
3. Family Orientation
A girl who’s family oriented loves her family, has close relationships within it, and wants a family of her own.
This one is really unfair for me to ask for. Some people are born into crummy families through no fault of their own. I just know how much I’ve benefited from having good relationships with my family members, and I’d want to date someone who had that same experience. I also know that I definitely want to have children, and want to bring them up in a similar environment.
So those are my three most important things. I want to date a girl that’s excited about life, loves to learn and grow, and for whom family is important.
Beyond those things, I’d want to date someone with some inclination and capacity to travel and a degree of independence. I don’t care about race, height, hair color, or anything like that, but I’m attracted to thin feminine women.
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If that sounds like you, email me. It’s my first name at my first name dot com. I know it’s sort of weird to email a blogger because he basically posted a personal ad as a blog post, but hey– you live once.
Being more realistic, as the majority of my readers are male, I’d like to ask you to think about girls you know and consider introducing me. Besides joking around a lot more than blog posts indicate, my blog posts have probably given you a pretty good idea of who I am.
This is really important to me, so I’m going to offer a reward to make things fun. If you introduce me to someone I end up dating for a year or more, I’m going to help you check something off your bucket list.
I can’t afford to take you to space, but if you want to go bungie jumping, then I’m flying you to Macau and we are going to do the world’s tallest bungie jump on my dime. Want to go to Japan? I’ll bring you there and show you around personally.
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I met my last serious girlfriend through my blog, and it worked out really well. I’m not relying on it, but I think it’s a pretty likely source to find someone I’d really be interested in.
Expect an update on my re-entry to the wild world of dating sometime in the summer. I have a billion trips between now and May, so I don’t think I’ll be able to do much until then.
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I’m in Vegas right now and will finally get to see my place today! If all goes according to plan, I’ll close today and get the keys. Exciting!
Photo is me in an extremely seductive pose on an altar in a UNESCO World Heritage site. Basically sums me up in a photo.
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