Evan, the Vegan Wonder

Right now I’m sitting on my couch enjoying the aroma of onions and garlic cooking in olive oil. On another burner is a giant pot full of vegetables. Next to it is a skillet with roasting eggplants. To the side of the stove is a cutting board with even more chopped vegetables. What’s going on?

Preparation.

On Friday I’m heading up to Massachusetts to be with my family for Christmas. I go every six months and see my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. The one problem is that it’s very difficult to eat healthy while traveling, especially during the season of many fine home cooked meals. My family is Italian, and thus most meals are a healthy salad coupled with an unhealthy pasta dish.

Luckily for me, I am BFFFFs with Evan, and it just so happens that she is the right combination of ruthlessly sweet and culinarily gifted. The result is that any night I’m not at Casa de Luz, it’s likely that she’s either cooking for me, or that I’m eating leftovers that she froze for me.

Evan likes to tell people about how one of the first times we hung out she ordered vegan food and I made fun of her for it. The direct quote that she likes to remember is me saying, “Why would you eat vegan? That’s so stupid.” Purposefully or not, she played a part in me turning vegan.

Some of the more delicious things she can cook are a curry that tastes like it must be unhealthy (it’s not), poblano pepper corn chowder, apple pancakes, and tempeh enchiladas. At the moment she’s molding 20 pounds of vegetables, beans, and other healthy vittles into enough vegan food for me to eat for a week in Boston.

We went to Wal Mart where I bought tupperware and a neat collapsible cooler (and a shredder, candles, kitchen towels, etc., since that’s what happens in Wal-Mart), which I intend to pack on the plane. Hopefully it will all stay frozen and delicious for when I get there.

The good news for you, dear reader, is that I will soon be building a Playboy-esque empire here in Austin with the help of Evan and some other friends. If you wrangle your way on to my supple yet exclusive guest list, you will be able to watch classic movies at our monthly movie night or play boardgames at our monthly boardgame night, all the while eating vegan (and probably some non-vegan) snacks!

Chapter 2

I thought I was done with this post, but Evan has wanted a post for a while and is working really hard to make me delicious food, so I will share some juicy facts about her.

  • First of all, she believes in ghosts. Seriously. She thinks that the school her sister teaches at is haunted. That’s ridiculous. I already know ONE of you who is totally going to agree with her and write about it in the comments.
  • She was one of the first two Tynan’s Angels. She almost didn’t go because she thought it sounded sketchy. She was right.
  • Evan is really good at setting people up. She set up one of my friends with one of her friends, and now they are happily married (basically)
  • She’s an excellent singer, which you would know if you came to my Karaoke nights every Wednesday.
  • The only person I know who isn’t in my family who doesn’t like my hat is Evan. Thus, we can deduce that she has poor taste.
  • She likes Jay-Z almost as much as I do, which speaks volumes about her character

    Turn to page 125 to slay the dragon,
    OR Turn to page 140 to eat your grandmother.


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26 responses to “Evan, the Vegan Wonder”

  1. chrisp Avatar
    chrisp

    sweet, a choose your own adventure blog!

  2. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    Honestly, though those things were funner than shat, I was always dissapointed when I was “done.” I remember I’d read 2 pages in the library and then be done with it. Out of a 200 page book? WTF? Sure, you could read it again, but if you’ve already got the checkered flag, why finish it when you know you’re going to turn the page and see the car crashed and smoke billowing out?

    Frusterated,
    Andrew

  3. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    It got me thinking, I should start a choose your own adventure wiki where people could add pages and stuff. Then I googled it and found:

    http://www.coder.com/creations/tale/stacks.html

    A bunch of free, user created books. I’m starting “The Magic of Moodera” right now.

  4. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    OK, ok, ok…. I’m gonna try to ween myself off meat and bread and processed sugars. I honestly do not know how you and Evan and others are able to enjoy a meal, however. I don’t like eggplant and other veggies, so I think I’m screwed in the food department.

    Seriously, I’m amazed at people like you and Evan who can eat in such a healthy way. Me: Love coffee with cream, steak, cheese, pasta dishes, breads. I’m trying to cut out processed sugars, but it’s pure hell since I love chocolates and sweet things. I feel like I’ve been wired to eat this way…. which is basically what you are saying Tynan. It’s walking away from such foods which make me question if I can do it. So…. my goal will be to ween myself off such foods over 45 days (sorta like your challenge of going veggie for 45 days, but more subtle).

    Regards,
    Dave

  5. Administrator Avatar
    Administrator

    Awesome… really glad to hear that you’re trying it out. I would seriously recommend that you get those books that I mentioned in the Vegan Overnight post. I found it very difficult to switch to vegan until I read them and got the proper motivation.

    Understand that I used to eat at McDonalds so much that they gave me all my food for free because people would go with me. I would eat tons of bread, and eat whole pizzas myself.

    Tynan

  6. Evan Avatar
    Evan

    Tynan! You are such a sweetpea!! Thank you for an awesome post…
    Now to address a couple of things:
    I love you SO much, but that hat is an atrocity. Remember when I met you and you tried to convince me that bacon was a healthy thing to eat? You hat is JUST LIKE BACON! You think it’s a wonderful, dandy thing to have now, but someday you’ll come to me and say, “wow, Evan. How could I have doubted your obviously superior knowledge of style and thought that ridiculous, spangled hat was hot?”

    And I’ll say, “I don’t know, but you sure do look cute without it obscuring your face!” And then your mom will throw me a party.

    Also, I don’t care what you say. Ghosts are real. AND aliens AND God. If you argue with me you’ll go to hell. The ghosts will take you there themselves.

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
    You’re the very best friend a girl could have!

  7. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Yeah, I’ve got the books down as a “to buy” during my next visit to the bookstore. I’m definitely interested in reading them and learning what’s possible.

    Eating a whole pizza… yeah, that’s me, too!

    Anyway, thanks for the continued posts on veggie foods. I’m thinking about having more fruits in my diet as an offset to any veggies I find I cannot enjoy. Hard part will be the sugar issue, as noted earlier. I will post an update sometime in the next month or so let you know how it goes.

    Have a safe trip and a great holiday,
    Dave

  8. Flipmode Avatar
    Flipmode

    The hat pwns. End of :p.

    This is quite the website you’ve made admin/Tynan/Herbal, other than the hat thing Evan sounds like quite the lil angel, cool :). Maybe sometime i should look upon restricting myself to a certain diet.

  9. Greg Militello Avatar
    Greg Militello

    Hooray Massachusetts! The weather has actually been pretty fair lately up here, I think it wont be too far from the norm for you living in Austin and all. If you want a good vegan restaurant there is always Grasshopper in Boston, its a nice place to eat with pretty good prices for the portions they serve, I even enjoy it and I’m a carnivore.

  10. Kristen Avatar
    Kristen

    OH MY GOD (whom I have no faith in -but don’t necessarily disbelieve in!- despite the following comment). I used to be convinced you were the single most grounded and sensible person on the planet, despite your over-the-top flare. Everything you did still made perfect sense if given enough *nonjudgmental* thought. However, Ghosts and aliens ARE real. You just lost about 18700 points, which Evan subsequently gained. I think we need to have a really long, heated debate on these two topics, along with arguments involving cryptozoology, which I am also a strong believer in!

  11. Kristen Avatar
    Kristen

    ALSO:

    “Page 140! Page 140!”

    (Remember HUFU!?)

  12. Flipmode Avatar
    Flipmode

    In my eyes i’ve never really thought about Ghosts and aliens, the only type that exist are scooby doo like ones and in the end always like to curse those meddling kids :). Lol…

    Anyway myself, I don’t really believe in them, then again I’m not putting down they don’t exist. We just may not have seen them ourselfs yet. Lol that last part reminded me of goosebumps special ones where you choose your fate.

    In short I 79% agree with Tynan and 21% on Kristen/Evans opinion. If that makes any sense.

  13. Administrator Avatar
    Administrator

    “I already know ONE of you who is totally going to agree with her and write about it in the comments.”

    *ahem*

  14. Vicky Avatar
    Vicky

    Ok, so me and my friend have gotten into many arguments over how to say your name.. so.. uah.. how do you pronounce it?

  15. kurtist Avatar
    kurtist

    Is it possable to make a completely vegan pizza?
    if so Im in.
    Also ghosts are real ive seen them.
    Not so sure about aliens though.

  16. Magnus Avatar
    Magnus

    Ask me about the time a ghost helped me foil a robbery.

  17. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Dammit! Homemade cinnamon rolls! How the hell can I fight that? The sugar! The cinnamon goodness!

    Is there such a thing as a tofu cinnamon roll?

  18. Evan Avatar
    Evan

    It’s pronounced like “Tie-nan”

  19. Evan Avatar
    Evan

    Kristen! xoxoxo! I’m so happy there is someone to back me up here…Ty is obviously crazy.

    Dave, here is how you make healthy and delicious cinnamon rolls(no tofu needed):
    3 cups ww flour
    1 tsp salt
    1/3 c. light olive oil
    1/3 c. honey
    1/2 c. warm water
    1 pkg dry active yeast

    Mix the flour and salt in a large bowl. In a seperate bowl, mix the honey, warm water and yeast. Let it sit for about 5 minutes, then mix the wet and dry ingredients, including the oil. If you need to add more water, do so…then knead your dough thoroughly, cover it and let it rise until it has doubled. Roll the dough out into some semblance of a rectangle. Then spread this alllll over the dough:
    a mixture of (1-2 tsp) cinnamon, (1/2 tsp) ground cloves, (2/3 c.) agave nectar and some nuts ( a small, finely chopped handful…I like walnuts). Roll the dough up and cut into 1-inch thick rolls. Place in a greased baking pan and bake at 375F until golden brown…maybe 15-20 minutes?

    Let your rolls cool completely. You can make a simple glaze that is gooey and not at all healthy tasting by doing this:
    1/4 C raw almonds(sliced are fine)
    1 C water(or unsweetened soy/rice milk, which works really well)
    2 T lemon juice
    2 T corn starch
    1/2 tsp nutritional yeast
    pinch of salt
    1/3 C agave nectar
    1.5 tsp vanilla extract

    Start by blending the almonds with the water until smooth. Add the lemon juice, corn starch, and nutritional yeast and blend the ingredients again until well combined.
    Pour the mixture into a medium saucepan and bring the mixture to a boil. Cook for approximately a minute(it will look like a pudding…). Remove from heat. Whisk in the agave nectar and the vanilla extract. Pour into a bowl and cool in the refridgerator for approximately 3 hours. Before using, whisk the mixture to break it up and add some air to it. Then use like a normal frosting.

    AND YES! We also make really yummy, really great for you vegan pizza…and I’ll post the recipe for that one later.

    Love,
    Evan

  20. Vicky Avatar
    Vicky

    Yes! I was right! *dances*

  21. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Looks good! I’m going to try baking the rolls this weekend. Got guests coming over. Love ya, Evan!

  22. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Evan, these rolls are great. My first batch sucked; I don’t think my friend whisked the mixture good enough…. they were a bit hard. The second batch was just right. Thanks!

  23. Hunter Avatar
    Hunter

    Tynan,

    Your Vegan Post inspired/convinced me to go for it. I went and picked up the China Study and I am currently mowing through it. I’ve made two trips to Casa de Luz but it’s out of my price range to eat there more than once a week.

    As far as Evan’s Cinnamin rolls, what kind of Honey do you use? In the China Study it lists honey as an animal based food.

    Thanks

  24. Evan Avatar
    Evan

    Hey Hunter,

    Honey isn’t actually vegan, because it’s made by bees, and therefore is considered by some to be an animal product. For people who choose veganism because they want to eat without harming or enslaving animals, honey is off limits. Tynan eliminated animal products from his diet for the health benefits only, as he has zero moral problem with eating a dead chicken or making a cow live as a little milk factory or whatever.

    Honey is distinct from every other food that vegans exclude from their diets in that it isn’t the flesh, egg or milk of an animal. It’s basically just a simple sugar. Nutritionally, the only reason to limit the amount of honey you consume is because it’s fairly high glycemic.

    Hope that helps!

  25. Tiff Avatar
    Tiff

    Let’s not forget astrology.

  26. Streetwise keeb Avatar
    Streetwise keeb

    *hands on hips* Whats wrong with ghosts?
    Or aliens?

    Or alien ghosts?

    As a guy with his own favorite hat, albiet not as cool as your, I must say give your hat up for no one!!

    I like your writing style, I feel like I know her.

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