I want to make something clear. Crystal clear. I am in no way obligated to write this post, and it's not being written under duress. And also Taryn totally didn't hold a knife against my throat today. Or any other day. That never happened. With that in mind, I present to you the top 5 reasons Taryn is better than your girlfriend.
Number 5 - She cleaned my kitchen! I thought that this was impossible. I'd made two solid attempts, and while I did chip away at the skyscrapers of pots and pans, more took their places later. In about an hour or so, she totally cleaned it and it now looks fantastic.
Number 4- She did a crapload of laundry (dammit! I forgot to hang up that last load - I TOLD YOU!). Now for those of you who know me in real life, you can stop wondering why I keep wearing the same shirt every other day. For those of you who know me REALLY well in real life, you can stop wondering why I'm wearing the same underwear every day.
Number 3- Two manicures in 8 days! The silver nails are back and I'm psyched about it. She does a really good job too. The first manicure even involved a hand massage, which was really pleasant.
Number 2- I have someone to watch the O.C. with! My friends are generally individuals with excellent taste. However, none of them like the O.C. except for my brother Devon. There's nothing sadder than me lying in the theater alone sobbing because Marissa and Ryan broke up again. Man... I get all misty just thinking about it.
Number 1- Not to be anticlimatic or anything, but I can't think of any more reasons. Taryn's a cool girl with some hardcore looking tattoos, but really she's just a teddy bear. She lied about getting in a knife fight and I totally believed her. Maybe that's reason number one.
Anyway, she's moving to New York and wants a live in boyfriend. I'll vouch for her being awesome at cleaning and stuff, and I'm sure she's a demon in the sack as well. How can you go wrong with that? If you're in New York and can make a mess for her to clean, comment and she'll get in touch with you maybe.
The only thing that puts me off about you is that manicure thing you do...I guess i'll just have to accept it...But it still puts me off.
I've really been disappointed by the OC recently, i would say like the last 2 weeks have been really bad and i have really low expectations for the next weeks (mainly because you cant make much but shit from shit.) I think my favorite season so far has been the 2nd season, it had the best combonation of not sucking at life and being fun.
hahahahah wow. i seriously just laughed out loud. what a great post..i think this is your finest work Ty. Dont forget that i actually went out and BOUGHT that stupid book with you in it. 32.95! thats some hard earned money right there. But it will forever more be our bible in this house. I cant wait for the OC again!
She is always welcome to stop by in Denmark and check out our kitchen :)
What is O.C.? I can guess it some kind of TV program, but what more? Is it about the life in tropical aquarium or about something else?
Normally I'd be very hesitant to write about a celebrity - especially one who trusted me with her personal life by moving in with my friends and I. But... this is Courtney Love, so anything's fair game. Just kidding.
Actually I don't have a moral objection writing about her because I have basically only good things to say, and also because similar stories were already published in The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. In case you missed the How I Became a Famous Pickup Artist series, The Game is a book which chronicles our adventures, written by the literary mastermind Neil Strauss, who was also a roommate at the time.
Mystery and I were in New York preparing to be on Good Morning America. Ultimately we didn't get on because Mystery's flamboyant character and dress offended the conservative and frumpy program director, and they canned the segment at the last minute. Neil was asked to write a story about Courtney Love for The Rolling Stone. He had never met her before. As Mystery and I waited for our workshop to begin we got a call from Neil. He had forgotten his tape recorder and wanted to know if we'd bring it to him.
Since I have no reason what I'm actually gonna type here I decided to just go with this title. It sucks, I know.
Well okay I guess I'm just going to tell a little bit about myself.
- My name is Emma but you can call me Em or whatever you like. Be creative. I dare you.- I'm 19 years old- I'm studying International Media and Entertainment management but after this I want to do my masters in something related to screenwriting.- No I don't actually know what I'm going to do with my life- I'm more of a live in the moment kind of girl. I'll see what life brings to me. (doesn't mean I don't dream about my future though)- English is not my first language (apologies in advance for any annoying mistakes I'm probably going to make)- I love to write. - I'm slightly addicted to television shows and partying.- I'm currently in love with a girl and I have no idea what to do about that.
I get that you want to know more about me and this girl. Well.. let's just say I found out that I was bi last year when I suddenly had a crush on a friend of mine. Okay this totally sucked just so you know. I guess it's always been there I just never realized. Eventually we all got drunk and I told her and urgh it was pretty fucked up but we stayed friends. I think we're pretty good now, as far as possible of course.
Time went by, I kissed some guys (made some mistakes blabla you know it), and well... nothing really happened. I haven't told anyone beside a friend of mine who lives in England and well obviously that girl I had a crush on. My parents sort of know but the last time I tried to bring it up to my mom she got really mad and said it was just a phase. I don't want to make you think that she's a homophobic or something because she's not. She just doesn't really realize that I might be serious about this.