Everyone's waiting for the right time for something. The right time to quit their job, the right time to ask her out, the right time to travel, or the right time to start a new project.
In a little over a week I leave Austin until June. I have a LOT to do. More than I will get done.
I have to get my RV's engine repaired before the warranty expires and I have to find a place to store the thing while I'm gone. I have a few things to sell on ebay. I have a few pieces of gear I'd like to test out for the new trip.
We're close enough to the departure date that any time I hang out with a friend it may be the last time I hang out with them until the summer. I wanted to get another trip in to LA, but I'm not going to have time now.
"If only I just had one more week..."
That's dangerous thinking. I have a good friend who had been wanting to move to LA for years, but it was never the right time.
She stuck around for a graduation, her niece being born, to save up some more money, and who knows what else.
Finally she realized that it was never going to be the right time and she just moved anyway.
And that's what you have to do.
If you ask me, that's one of the secrets to really living a good life. Any big action is always going to cause some complications. If you wait until there aren't any complications, you may die before you actually do what you want to do.
Life has a funny way of working things out. Or, more accurately, we humans overestimate the importance of little problems. And we're pretty good at dealing with them, too.
It makes sense. If a few things fall off your plate because you take a big step forward, that's a good trade. And the sooner you make THIS trade, the sooner you're ready for the next one.
Are you putting anything off? Have you ever noticed that people's regrets are always things they DIDN'T do? You never hear people saying that they regret throwing caution to the wind and diving headfirst into scary. Why not?
One quote I heard which has always haunted me is, "The one thing you'll regret when you're old is the time you wasted."
Don't waste time. Do it now.
I think you bring up a really awesome point.
That is, being in the present.
There will never be any perfect time in the future because the only perfect timing is now.
Being present, making becoming a PUA so much easier.
Because you stop living in your head and you start acting, breathing and living in the now.
Your past insecurities do not exist now, nor do the future possibilities of rejection, humiliation or failure.
Hot Approach Coach
Approach Anywoman, Anywhere, Anytime
I agree with this post pretty much completely, and I happily rated it 5 stars. I have ALWAYS lived my life this way. I am 31 now, and I definitely think all the decisions that I made, and then immediately acted on, have ended up being the right ones.
I actually think that as a general philosophy on life, regret is a wasted emotion. Life should be about experiencing as much as you can experience, and trying to fit as much into your life as you possibly can before you get too old/sick/die.
I have progressed in my career to a point far beyond my peers, and have done so because I have always tried for the new job that I thought I wanted. Job in a different city/industry/country? No problem. Apply, fly for interview, get the airline ticket, then work out how I am going to ACTUALLY do it. Whenever I have thought it would be cool to live in a new place, I have just quit my job and made the move. Got a wife beside me that agrees 100% with this lifestyle and we have never looked back.
A lot of what you have been writing lately I have disagreed with (for example The Dip and your decision to focus on one thing (I enjoy having a hand in many things and deriving an exciting variety and balance from all the things combined), but this current post really resounded with me as you are preaching exactly the way I have lived since I left my parents home at 18. (much to their annoyance as they are big on "putting down some roots and really making something of your life"
Dad, what does regret mean?
Well son, a funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done, and by the way, when you see your mom this weekend would you be sure and tell her SATAN SATAN SATAN!!!!
By and large, I think you're right, and this attitude has clearly worked for you. There have been times, though, where I've regretted jumping into something without doing enough research or preparation first.. even PUA.
I'm also stuck in a lot of ways by owning a house I want to sell, and as much as I wish it weren't, now is about the worst time I could possibly try to sell a house.. so I know I have to be patient, unfortunately :(
You been particularly successful with this since you've structured your life for many years around being mobile, but it can take some time to detach and uproot, so to say. I'm working on it though, and trying to reshape my lifestyle for the better so I can go after what I want without too many strings attached. :)
Amen, Tynan! Two quotes that have really changed my way of thinking during the past year:
"YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll regret the things you didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t do more than the ones you did." - Not sure who said this
... and this (which I'm paraphrasing from Tim Ferris' book):
"The traffic lights of life are never going to all be green."
You're always going to have at least one silly excuse why you shouldn't do 'X'. Life's always going to throw you a curveball or two. But that doesn't mean you should ever stop striving to live life to its fullest and follow your dreams.
Whenever my friends are thinking about skipping class to go eat or something I always say "you won't regret going, but you'll regret skipping." word brotha we deeeep
I looked at the route that Google Maps gave me to drive my RV back to Austin. The route went right past Mandeville, Louisiana. That's where Katya lives.
I hadn't seen her in years. We broke up four years ago, and I only saw her once since then, three years ago. She randomly showed up with her fiancee and took all of the big stuff she'd left at my house. Her fiancee apologized as we carried her bed frame that I'd been sleeping on for a year to his car.
So, I've been mostly single for some time now, and just recently I started seriously seeing a girl. This is relevant because up until we became serious I never really gave much thought to explaining or defending my nightly activities of playing EVE and being on comms with friends. It's just what I do, and I'll be honest that most of the time I'm a half naked lump sitting on my office chair whose seat pad is full to the brim of fart dust. Now I'm suddenly dating someone and I find myself wondering... "Is it OK if I play EVE right now?"
This self-questioning inevitably spirals onward because why would I ever deny myself something that I enjoy because of another person. I enjoy this person, so shouldn't they enjoy that I enjoy what I enjoy? Maybe there's something she enjoys that she's not enjoying because she's worried that I wont understand her joy. Clearly, this becomes exhausting and before long I'm too tired to do much else and we do other things.
I love this girl. She's a good one. We have fun, and I don't resent her at all for the obvious disruption in my EVE schedule that's taken place. Truth is I still play, but when she goes to sleep. Nothing is lost. But what's important to me is really just getting it out there that there's something else that I spend ample time with.
So, this is easy, right? Just tell her. But if I tell her, when do I tell her? During lunch? Dinner is for talking about your day, complaining about your job and talking about spaceships, right? No, that doesn't feel right. Lunch maybe sounds better. But we both work, so lunch wont work. Maybe in the morning when we wake up and we're laying in bed. That's perfect. She's comfortable, she's rested and at 6:30 in the morning there's not much sun light coming in through the blinds to cast distracting shadows on the wall while I'm talking about spaceships. But that just might be too early, I thought.
Then I had an idea to plan a date night completely revolving around the idea of just casually bringing up EVE to her at some perfect point. I'd set the kitchen counter all nice with our plastic cutlery and paper plates that do match. I'd put on some music. She'd absolutely love her favorite dish that I'd make for dinner. I'd wash and wear my one polo shirt that I own, and then nothing says I love you and want to share spaceships with you like picking fresh flowers from your neighbor's garden.