Web, thanks for your thoughtful response. You make some excellent points and I will certainly take time to consider what you have said.

I want to clarify that I am not opposed to equality of women and celebrate the advances that have been made on that front. But it is important to acknowledge that in any quest for Cosmic Justice, such as equality, the costs need to be considered as well as the benefits. It is especially important to the people that have to pay those costs. In this case, it is men - specifically successful men- who pay because they are treated with inordinate inequality by the Family Law process. Unless you are a man that has been through the meat-grinder of the court system in a divorce or custody battle, it must be very hard to understand or even believe.

In a simple custody case for example, the courts can require you to essentially make public all of your medical, financial, business records, personal journals, correspondence, and on and on. Judges have very broad powers and are unafraid to use them especially on behalf of a woman that portrays herself as a victim. An unscrupulous ex can use this information to do great harm, to vilify or to cause exquisite embarrassment for no purpose other than pure malice. And if you believe that Judges can prevent this, just try to get justice once it has occurred.

My point is simply that most people have no idea that this kind of thing is possible. And the more successful or unconventional a person is, the higher the risk. And this doesn't begin to address the exorbitant costs of pursuing justice or even simply defending oneself. What I have gone through would bankrupt a normal middle-class person.

I agree with you that kids from broken homes of the past were often scarred when women were abandoned or left financially destitute; but there is also significant heartbreak for children when there is endless venom, conflict and legal wrangling. I am saying that the system supports this under the guise of the equality you describe. What happens in the Family Courts now goes way beyond assuring that women are taken care of or that justice is served.

Here is my take on Love. There are two different things commonly called love and they are often times conflated. One is "in-love" which is a feeling and it is almost purely biological and sexual. That is why it comes and goes and can be manipulated with pick-up techniques. Then there is "Love" which is an action. It is the willingness to extend yourself for someone else's spiritual growth. So I can choose to love anyone - my kids, my S.O., my buddies or that old indigent man on the corner. I think there is a gigantic amount of confusion because people don't understand the difference between the feeling of "in-love" and the action of "Love".

Tynan, First I want to tell you how much I enjoy your Blog. It is my absolute favorite and I have learned quite a lot from reading your posts - so this is my chance to give back a little bit.

I probably have a different profile from most of your readers and I am sure I have quite a different perspective. What I have to say will probably challenge you and your readers. It is not meant to offend but the topic is an important one and is also one to which I have given a lot of thought. I wish someone had laid these things out for me to consider when I was in my 20s or 30s.

A little about me so you can see where I am coming from (and that I am not some lunatic curmudgeon)! I am in my early fifties. I have been married twice – once for 10 years and once for 13 years. I have a kid from each marriage. I created and sold a business so I am financially independent. I am a passionate traveler. I have surfed, kite boarded and climbed mountains all over the world. I read voraciously and with your inspiration, have embraced a minimalist approach to life.

I applaud your taking a long view of life but I want to suggest that you take an even longer view and consider a few things. Hold on to your hat – this is a no BS reality check!

Marriage

I agree. The first 50 times the pop up came up, I just clicked it off but now it is hugely annoying.

Read Free Will by Sam Harris or watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCofmZlC72g&feature=youtube_gdata_player