Ok folks... I'm gonna break it down for you Dr. Phil style today, and talk about happiness.
Now, first of all - I don't see why happiness is always priority number one. "Do whatever makes you happy", they say. "Yeah, but is she HAPPY?". Who says this is the holy grail? Personally, I think giving Tynan presents should be the end goal. "Do whatever makes Tynan get more presents" and "Yeah, but is she giving Tynan presents?" both sound pretty sweet to me.
But we live in a world where happiness is number one. They don't ask if happiness makes you money, but if money makes you happy. So, let's get happy.
I should offer one caveat : I was never seriously depressed. If you are seriously depressed, give this a try - I'm sure it will help, but it may not get you all the way to candyland, if you know what I mean.
When I was younger, though, I wasn't always happy. Things got to me a lot, I would find myself unhappy (depressed? I don't really know), and apathetic.
When I became a professional gambler things got interesting. If I won I would be ecstatic and in a great mood for the rest of the day. If I lost I would be detached and moody. After a few months of this it became obvious that something had to change. But what was also obvious is that I COULD be happy almost any time I wanted.
For example, if I was having a bad day, and reluctantly started playing... if I hit a royal flush I'd be in a great mood again.
So I thought about it for a while and came up with an idea. I tried it for a week and it worked. I went on for a month and it kept working. After a few months it was totally subconcious and I was always happy. Surprisingly it stuck, and people always remark at how I'm always happy. Because of my new positive outlook on everything, people always talk about how lucky I am too, as I always seem to be happy with what happens to me.
Now I know some people are thinking, "well, do I even WANT to be happy all the time? I mean... aren't there times when it's good to be upset?". And that's a good question. You can be happy and still be upset - when I'm wronged I'm upset, but I'm still a happy person. I don't let it get me down and depressed, but rather I see it as a chance to create a new, better situation.
Ok, so how is this magical feat accomplished? It's pretty easy. But before I explain it - do yourself a favor and commit to trying it. If you don't want to be more happy, then you don't need to read this post, so go read another story. But if you plan on reading on, then promise yourself that you will follow it, even if it sounds too simple to work.
Here's what you have to do :
Start off by comitting to only one week. This makes it easy enough that if you don't like it you aren't locked in forever, but it still gives it a fair chance. What I want you to do for this one week is this : be hyper aware of your thoughts. Evaluate whether they are positive, negative, or neutral (almost nothing is neutral other than things like - "hey, that pear is green"). If they're anything but positive, STOP. Think about the situation and find something positive about it. This is much easier than you think and gets much easier as you go on. Here are some examples :
Before : "I'm stuck in traffic. I hate traffic. Rrrrrawwwwrrr"
After : "Being in traffic gives me time to sit in my chair, relax, and listen to music. Most other times I feel obligated to do something, but not now"
Before : "Heidi Klum just dumped me. I Looooooooooveeee her."
After : "If she dumped me, things weren't going well. Now I have the chance to find a better relationship where things WILL go well."
Before : "My car broke down, my dog died, and I have cancer"
After : "When my car gets fixed it will work better than ever, fluffy had a better life than almost any puppy and I have some great memories with him, I have a new mission to beat cancer which will make me into a disciplined and focused person - it will also make me keenly aware of the value of life and enable me to live my life to the fullest "
Ok, now that last one might be a bit of an exaggeration, but that's really how I think. EVERY single situation has a positive side. It may have a negative side as well, but dwelling on that helps no one. When you first start this process, it will be cumbersome. It's like having a toddler who does the exact opposite of what you say, and then you have to correct him. However, after a week it will start happening naturally. If you like it, keep going. By month two you will be doing it subconciously and will never be affected by bad events.
I once had an extremely bad event happen to me where 99% of my (substantial) net worth was stolen with little hope to get it back. I hung out with friends that day and no one knew anything was wrong. In fact, just a day later a friend I was chatting with remarked at how everything always went so well for me!
Of course I didn't want to lose the money, but I considered that the real value of earning that money was learning how to earn, which I could do again, and that it gave me a great opportunity to evaluate what I wanted to do with my life. I decided that gambling was too antisocial and tha I wanted to entertain and inspire other people. This site was born as part of that thought!
This practice is actually called reframing, although I didn't know about it when I started doing it. I've advised several people to do this, and they report that not only are they happier, but that other people notice in as little time as a week. It's also a very attractive quality to have - many people have told me that they like being around me because I'm so positive and that help them see the bright side of things.
One issue I need to address is that you want to minimize the bad site - not avoid it. Avoiding dealing with bad things keeps it pent up and amplifies the emotion, which can cause greater problems down the line. If you lost your money, don't ignore that. Go make some more, but think of all the great opportunities that you will have, rather then dwelling on the lost money. If your girlfriend leaves you, think about the happy memories you had and how now you can find a better girl - don't keep seeing her acting like everything's normal.
So today we've learned how to live happy and that giving Tynan presents is more important than anything. If you have a negative thought that you just can't seem to see the positive in, post it in the comments and I'll help you. Or, if it's too personal for that, you can e-mail it to me and I will post it myself, thus embarassing you greatly. Just kidding, I keep secrets.
Continuing with the theme of weird things about me that could possibly point to some psychological conditions - I hate birthdays. Rest assured that it's not my birthday. I wanted to write this on my birthday, but instead I waited some amount of time so that no one would know when it is.
Yeah, that's right. I don't tell people when my birthday is. My family knows, since they were intimately involved in the event we're supposed to celebrate, but very few of my friends know. Kristen bribed me by making me a really cool clay rock for my fish tank, so I told her. The only two friends who called were Nicole and Nick, both of which I would have thought would never call. I've seen Nicole once in the past two years, and Nick has been in Pennsylvania for quite some time.
I don't know exactly what it is about birthdays. I just don't like people making a big deal out of it. I hate getting birthday presents (along with Christmas presents), and I hate it when people wish me a happy birthday. All these family members and Nick and Nicole called, and I ignored all of their calls. I didn't call them back either.
If anyone else is like me, they have more than one 'version' of themselves and each one serves almost a different purpose. For example, I'm the happy, confident and generally carefree me in front of my friends and mostly my family, however, with a certain group of my friends, the closer ones to me the people I actually trust, I also show them the me when I'm down and vulnerable. And of course with my lover I show him all of me, when I'm happy and carefree as well as when Im troubled or depressed ^ ^
So that's images - what other people show us and what we choose to show other people. Next is masks. Basically the same but with more of a 'hiding' element to it. So for example, a few days back I was feeling super depressed, really sick of life and I was only online to try and distract myself from my suicidal thoughts when a friend began talking to me. Talking to him, I had to act completely normal, which to be honest can be pretty tiring especially when I was already feeling so exhausted mentally to begin with.
Wearing masks in front of people has become basically second nature to me and I do it naturally like everyone else, to hide my weaknesses from other people. Not only my friends but my family, pretending I'm ok even when inside I'm torn apart. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not playing it like I'm the only person on earth who does this, I have to yet to find someone who doesn't, but I just want some more opinions on this and maybe some clarification as to why I don't feel like I can trust my family?
Also, I'm really selfish. Even when I hide my pain from other people, I sort of still expect them to notice I'm not ok, really selfish I know and basically seeking attention but sometimes I think we all need that- someone who can understand how youre feeling without you telling them. My boyfriend always somehow seems to be able to tell that I'm feeling depressed sometimes even before I notice which is pretty crazy but also rather nice; knowing theres someone out there you don't have to act in front of, who loves you and understands you and knows you as well as you know yourself ^ ^
Next is 'worlds', not literal worlds hence why its in quotation marks. Like many people, I keep my personal and family life apart. Yes I call it personal not social simply cuz I find that I 'socialize' with people I don't trust and include my friends as part of 'personal' since these are the people I trust.