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I Hate Birthdays

Continuing with the theme of weird things about me that could possibly point to some psychological conditions - I hate birthdays. Rest assured that it's not my birthday. I wanted to write this on my birthday, but instead I waited some amount of time so that no one would know when it is.

Yeah, that's right. I don't tell people when my birthday is. My family knows, since they were intimately involved in the event we're supposed to celebrate, but very few of my friends know. Kristen bribed me by making me a really cool clay rock for my fish tank, so I told her. The only two friends who called were Nicole and Nick, both of which I would have thought would never call. I've seen Nicole once in the past two years, and Nick has been in Pennsylvania for quite some time.

I don't know exactly what it is about birthdays. I just don't like people making a big deal out of it. I hate getting birthday presents (along with Christmas presents), and I hate it when people wish me a happy birthday. All these family members and Nick and Nicole called, and I ignored all of their calls. I didn't call them back either.

In Praise of Hopelessness

On Reflections

I took this picture in Kochi a long time back but I think the traffic sign saying GO SLOW has a deeper meaning - we are sprinting towards a hoped for future; slow down and take stock for a change. NO MOBILE IN DRIVING - focus on what you are doing right now!

Hope is a wonderful thing. Its great to have hopes and to be hopeful. Hope is like an ointment or a pain relieving gel, isn't it? It reduces the pain you are experiencing now, reduces the intensity of the difficulties you are in at the moment as you hope for a better tomorrow. But that is all it does though, unfortunately. It makes us yearn for a future but doesn't help us with the present. While hope is a real catalyst for our future by giving us a picture to look at, in reality hope doesn't get you that future; it cant. You need to be alive, first of all, and you need to resolve your present woes before you get anywhere else. How do you get out of the present mess? And, how do you ensure you don't find yourself here again? Well, merely hoping is kind of hopeless!

We need to act now. We need to do something now. Whatever that might be. Too much hoping takes you away from the present. All your achievements and your dreams can only be played out in the present. Your hard work towards it, your perseverance, can only be played out now.

Our way of life puts way too much emphasis on the future and little on the present. Of course we get by but rather unconsciously. Our eyes are gazing out into the future or we get muddled by something from the past. This is how we live. And in the present, we just go on doing things without knowing why exactly nor without understanding if some of the causes of our problems stem from these things.

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