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The Uncertainty of Life

On Tynan

Steam rises from my little glass teapot. It's the fifth brewing of the Tung Ting Oolong, so it's a little bit weak even though the color is still a clear gold. Employees of the tea shop are in front of me, an older couple across the way, and a single girl behind me. In the other room are more groups. The chatter rises above the music, but I can't understand any of it because it's all in Hungarian.

I'm here by myself. Two friends visited, but one had to go home to London, and the other to a conference in Zürich.

I have a tendency, when traveling alone, to stay holed up in my AirBnb. But after a day of that I wanted to get out. This place is perfect. I can drink my tea, feel like I'm around people, but not be distracted by their conversations.

My favorite game to play by myself is to imagine a kid version of myself could see me now. What would he think? Usually he'd just be surprised, I think. How random is it that I'm sitting in Budapest, by myself, writing? It's not significant in any way, but I wouldn't have guessed it, either.

God Has a Way

On Krissy's Adventures

Something I have started to realize since I've began going back to church again is that God has a way. A little while ago I didn't care nothing about being at a church. I saw everyone as hypocrites. My thoughts were also if you were going to tell me who I can and can't be friends with and who I can and can't date, then I have no preference to go to church.

Well on May 4th, before mother's day I visited a wonderful church with a close friend of mine. God had a plan that day. I had been wanting to find a church that approached a certain issue. The issue was unconditional Love. One of the things that was talked about was not point out people's sins. I couldn't tell you everything about that lecture now. But I will tell you the issue that had been on my mind was no longer on my mind. The sermon was not as great as I would have liked it to be. But for once I had heard a sermon I'd been craving to hear. Something I needed to hear.

One of the things that I found to be important is that it wasn't about pointing out everyone else's sins.

This was the first time I attended church since I almost walked out of the church I had been going to since I was seven. The reason I had almost walked out had a lot to do with I sat through the WORST sermon I think I've ever heard in my life. The preacher had so much anger in his eyes when he looked at me. The preachers eyes hardly ever left my eyes or the persons I was with. The sermon went from one of those "typical sermons you have around the holidays" to being about you should not date someone of a different faith. It started pointing out all the flaws in dating someone of a different faith. But we didn't bring Buddhism, Hinduism, Jewism, or any of that into the lecture. Instead we focused on what the person who was there with me was. The sermon outraged me. The sermon outraged the individual who was with me as well. I almost did leave. The only thing was I knew if I left, he was following me, and I didn't know if the preacher would have more hatred in his eyes, if he would call out something that would start a reaction from either of us or what would happen. So we sat. And we sat. We sat through what was the longest sermon I've ever sat through, with him pointing out all the flaws in dating someone who was Pagan or Wiccan. We sat through hearing how we really shouldn't even be friends. As a Christian I should show grace and love but keep myself separated from the individual. Worst sermon I've sat through.

We left church that day. Snuck out the back. Knowing that the pastor had either been watching my Facebook or saw someone commented on it or someone in the church said something. Cuz otherwise you really wouldn't have known. The guy I was with had nothing on him that said what faith he was. The pastor just picked up on it somewhere because I hadn't advertised it either. Just had what was on my facebook and that was that. I smoked my first puff off a cigarette that day. I was that UPSET about it.

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