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I Hate Birthdays

Continuing with the theme of weird things about me that could possibly point to some psychological conditions - I hate birthdays. Rest assured that it's not my birthday. I wanted to write this on my birthday, but instead I waited some amount of time so that no one would know when it is.

Yeah, that's right. I don't tell people when my birthday is. My family knows, since they were intimately involved in the event we're supposed to celebrate, but very few of my friends know. Kristen bribed me by making me a really cool clay rock for my fish tank, so I told her. The only two friends who called were Nicole and Nick, both of which I would have thought would never call. I've seen Nicole once in the past two years, and Nick has been in Pennsylvania for quite some time.

I don't know exactly what it is about birthdays. I just don't like people making a big deal out of it. I hate getting birthday presents (along with Christmas presents), and I hate it when people wish me a happy birthday. All these family members and Nick and Nicole called, and I ignored all of their calls. I didn't call them back either.

And maybe it's all my fault...

On invisible girl

I was happy. Everything was going well. I wasn't really popular in school or anything like that but it was okay, you know. Because I had friends. Really good friends: Nancy and Miranda. And both of them meant so incredible much to me. I've told them everything. All of my secrets because that's what friends do, right?-Trusting each other. I did. I've trusted them like an idiot!

And then in summer 2013 they began hating each other and Nancy embarrassed Miranda in front of the whole school and I have to say: It was all my fault! We were a trio and I destroyed everything... because I've tried to be a good person.

So it all started when Miranda had told me that she would try to distance a bit from Nancy and me. She had told me that it wasn't my fault but hers. She didn't like Nancy anymore. She said that I shouldn't tell her, but I did. I have no idea why, but I did. And that's the reason why everything escalated.

We were in the cinema and watched that new movie that came out and to be honest: I can't even remember the title because the only thing I can remember from that day is seeing Miranda crying and everyone was standing around her and Nancy said words that I don't really want to repeat... so it was horrible -and I didn't do anything against it. I was just standing there and staring. no "sorry"s, no "Stop it"s. No words because there were none that could describe what I was feeling.

My best friend cried because of the things my other best friend thought about her... because of me.

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