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I Hate Birthdays

Continuing with the theme of weird things about me that could possibly point to some psychological conditions - I hate birthdays. Rest assured that it's not my birthday. I wanted to write this on my birthday, but instead I waited some amount of time so that no one would know when it is.

Yeah, that's right. I don't tell people when my birthday is. My family knows, since they were intimately involved in the event we're supposed to celebrate, but very few of my friends know. Kristen bribed me by making me a really cool clay rock for my fish tank, so I told her. The only two friends who called were Nicole and Nick, both of which I would have thought would never call. I've seen Nicole once in the past two years, and Nick has been in Pennsylvania for quite some time.

I don't know exactly what it is about birthdays. I just don't like people making a big deal out of it. I hate getting birthday presents (along with Christmas presents), and I hate it when people wish me a happy birthday. All these family members and Nick and Nicole called, and I ignored all of their calls. I didn't call them back either.

Im Running Away Again

On Charlie Brown

I always "Run" when Im scared.....Im scared of humiliation or criticism?

What Am I always running from? This feeling is back and I dont like it.....

I am a diluted unsure person. I really dont know who I am yet fully, I thought I did a few days ago. But now I just dont anymore. I know Ive been quite a loner guy since before, but I always had a few friends somehow despite my attitude.

Well Im trying to change that. and Im having a hardtime and when conflict reaches its peak especially when I see that my peers either in work or school get along alot and you seem to not fit. This is when I get the 'Runaway' feeling. Sometimes I get depressed and kinda sad about the situation because I find it hard to try to fit in with them and I get this runaway feeling so that I could just rather 'drop' or 'resign' from school or work because im tired of 'em and trying to fit in so I just wanna escape from the feeling and just get rid of it.

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