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Sleeping with Power Tools

I overslept by 90 minutes. I'm not proud of this. In fact, I'm in a bit of a rage over the whole thing. I don't think most people out there understand the precautions I've taken to ensure that I don't sleep.

Well, here's the latest. I've put my very loud air compressor in my bed, a foot or two from my face. If I remain in bed for 10 minutes longer than the alotted 25 minutes, it gets turned on automatically. I doubt there's anyone who has successfully slept with an air compressor going off two feet from their face. If you look at the picture below, you can also see a crock pot in the bottom left. I was going to have that boil water and then have the air compressor splash it on my face, but that proved to be too complicated at the moment.

What's frustrating is that I'm not actively making the decision, "this is too hard". My own body is sabotaging me.

The Time I Flushed My New iPhone Down the Toilet

On nickwinter.net

Here's an old post from 2011-11-21 I thought I'd save from Google+. It is just two years old and already my G+ history has forgotten it--thankfully Google's normal search could find it.

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George and I got some great footage of the Skritter iOS app in action yesterday for our teaser video. I Skrittered on buses, bridges, balconies, and a pillowcase. It's a good thing we finished shooting, because last night I flushed my month-old iPhone 4S down the toilet. Siri must have finally had enough of me asking her to tell me a story, or what's the inverse cosine of the arctangent of the square root of x from -1 to 1, or to remind me thirty times of my meeting with George in one minute. She just dove out of my loose 唐装 pocket at the moment of peak flush velocity. Slurp! It was a beautiful performance which my clutching hands could not follow.

So after calmly announcing to my boardgamemates that I'd just lost $600, sticking my arm up there, and being advised that "it's gone, man", I finished the game, eventually being punched out by an aging professor despite being invisible and having the revolver. Then I went straightaway to tell the internet about the hilarious loss. Just for fun, I decide to check iCloud's Find My iPhone feature. Well, what's this? Located 1 minute ago and still in the house? The phone clings to the plumbing, still alive! Quick, tell it to play a sound and display a message: "I'm drowning!"

Listening to the phone's desperate chimes for help, I located it to the back bend of the toilet trap and enlisted the small-wristed girls in the house to go toilet noodling. "You probably won't get your hand stuck in there. No, it's not dirty at all. It could be just a little further, so reach harder. Yeah, but your wrist is smaller than hers." My exploitative exhortations came to naught.

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