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Sleeping with Power Tools

I overslept by 90 minutes. I'm not proud of this. In fact, I'm in a bit of a rage over the whole thing. I don't think most people out there understand the precautions I've taken to ensure that I don't sleep.

Well, here's the latest. I've put my very loud air compressor in my bed, a foot or two from my face. If I remain in bed for 10 minutes longer than the alotted 25 minutes, it gets turned on automatically. I doubt there's anyone who has successfully slept with an air compressor going off two feet from their face. If you look at the picture below, you can also see a crock pot in the bottom left. I was going to have that boil water and then have the air compressor splash it on my face, but that proved to be too complicated at the moment.

What's frustrating is that I'm not actively making the decision, "this is too hard". My own body is sabotaging me.

The Time I Was a Car-Salesman

On The Constance Chronicles

I graduated with a degree in Education and one would think, or at least I thought I could get a teaching job immediately. Interview after interview I was getting turned away due to lack of experience in the classroom. I needed a job and I needed one fast. I sent text messages to friends asking if they knew anyone that could help me out. I received a text back from an old classmate, the girl who was now married to the older chubby gentleman. It was a phone number to contact him. I was desperate so I shot him a text, “Looking for a job. Got anything for me? - Constance” He asked me to come in the next day at 8am, so I did.

Chubby Gentleman walked me around, introduced to me to folks, had me fill out paperwork, then said, “Alright. You start sales school tomorrow.” I had no idea what he was talking about, apparently the show I put on that night out for drinks was enough for him to hire me on the spot without even saying I was hired. I went to sales school for a week. This is where they teach you all the ins and outs of selling cars, mostly used cars. It felt more like scam school than anything. I liked it. Chubby Gentleman immediately put me on the floor. I was their newest car-salesman and the only female in the entire downstairs part of the building. I got paired with this socially awkward white dude who was there to answer any questions I might have along the way.

Just a side story about this fella, he always insisted that we go bowling together. I insisted I didn’t have the time, but one day he tricked me into test driving a new truck and we ended up at the bowling alley. He took me to the store, measured my fingers, and started drilling holes into a brand new bowling ball. “Gotta fit you for a new ball so you can learn how to spin it.” Then he asked me for my shoe size and picked out brand new bowling shoes. Let’s just say, I didn’t see any money being exchanged for these goods. I put the stolen items into my trunk and they stayed there until I sold them to a sporting goods store years later.

There isn’t much to say about the time I sold cars except to say I am certified to do so. I didn’t sell a single car that month. When customers asked about the trucks, I pointed to the tag taped to the car and said, “I think it says something about that here.” If they seemed interested, I got them the keys for an immediate test drive. There were days when I would just sit in a giant truck with the AC blasting, reading a books until it was time to clock out. Selling cars is the highest paying job out there without a college degree and I made $0. Scamming people, being a shark, or using my vagina to encourage men to make a purchase wasn’t my game. This is a thank you to Chubby Gentleman for giving me a shot (and also a parting check for my time). If any of you need some advice on how to get the best deal on a trade in, new car, or used vehicle, holla at this once professional car-salesman.

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