Boy Meets World was my favorite show ever. I bought a huge clunky VCR from a garage sale, ,and would use it to record every rerun I could find. On Fridays I couldn't wait to go home and watch the new episodes.
But besides providing a world of entertainment and a huge crush on Topanga, the show also added something to my lifetime list of musts. I had to climb into a girl's window at night. Hey... that sounds like I'm a rapist. I mean when she's expecting me.
I was talking to a girl online that I had a crush on, who also had a crush on me. Maybe the only genuine crush I've had since becoming a pick up artist.
"I want to see you."
"I can't. I'm at my parent's house and they have an alarm."
(note - this girl was not underage.)
"That's okay. I'll build a rope ladder and climb up."
It was a joke.
"Yes. I'll be there in an hour."
I went online and found a site that showed how to make rope ladders. Then I drove to Wal Mart and bought two really long ropes.
It took me a lot longer than an hour to get to her house, because making a rope ladder isn't as easy as it seems. With that firsthand knowledge under my belt I parked a few houses down, opened the trunk, and dragged my balled up rope ladder to her house.
What would the neighbors think if they saw that? What possible reason would I have for having half a kilometer of rope balled up in my arms at midnight in the suburbs?
I crept up her driveway and pushed past the bushes. Her room was in the front, exposed to the street. We whispered to each other and she threw down a kite string.
That was smart. I hadn't thought of how to get the ladder up to her.
I tied the string to my homemade ladder and she pulled it up to her window. I was expecting her to be really impressed with my ladder and shower praises down upon me. I was really proud of it.
"Ok, I tied it."
I began climbing up the rope. Since the rungs were just made out of rope, the sides clamped down on my shoes as I tried to climb. The rope swung back and forth as I climbed past the first story window.
That's why they don't show this shot on TV. It's clumsy. You always see the grand entrance from the inside.
I finally made it up to the top. I pulled myself in through the window and scrambled across her desk onto the floor, headfirst like a worm.
Then I saw her "knot". All she had done was wrap the excess around one of the legs of her desk and was holding onto the other end. I guess they're too busy selling cookies in girl scouts to teach knot tying.
We got into her bed and true to the act's sitcom roots, we made out and engaged in light petting. The only difference was that there was no audience to say "oooh!", and every slight noise made me wonder if her father, a gun owner, would randomly drop in.
He didn't, and a few hours later I climbed back down and drove away. It's always satisfying when you just did something that could land you in trouble and are now in the clear.
I sat in my car and turned the key. That's when a thought hit me hard, so hard that I remember it today, several years later.
Her parents had no idea that one of the most well known pick up artists in the world were in their daughter's bed as they slept. They wouldn't have ever considered the bizarre and remote possibility of it. It couldn't possibly enter their minds. But it happened.
Later she would become my girlfriend, and they both ended up liking me, ironically.
But that thought led me to another more startling one. What don't I know? What things that I could never possibly contemplate have occurred? What things will I never know?
Haha, definitely a comment worthy post (as are all of them hehe).
I remember a window climbing episode once myself. I first jumped up on one of those tall green garbage bins that are provided by the township. Then I put one foot on a metal fence, it was about 8 feet high and had 2 big dogs ont he other side, and finally made it onto the roof. The roof creaked, and I was sure they would hear me. Eventually I made it head first into the window and right onto the bed. She also had a weird cat. The end.
Your realization about what you don't know about is absolutely hysterical. It reminds me of the Tucker Max story. In the story, a girl came over and gave him a BJ right before she went out on a date. He ended up freaking out about the fact that this could have happened to him. =)
Oh, the lady in question.. give more gossip?
Stuff like that bothers me, like, who could be looking at me right now?
And this reminds me of the time i went to visit a now ex girlfriend who lived in Sweden at the time.
I pretended to be at work and then out with parents for a meal, but i was actually flying over there and got there at about 2am, and woke her up with snowballs on her window.
She didn't know until i woke her up, and her family had no idea until we all woke up the morning after.
So pretty similar, except i didn't have a rope ladder and didn't leave in the morning!
I need to do more stuff like that...
Tynan! That rope was NOT going anywhere! Haha, my desk at my parents' house is a nine foot long workbench. There was probably 8 feet of rope wound in figure eights around the main 2x4 support boards under there. Then I was holding the other end just to be on the safe side! =P
I don't think I kissed you, either. I'm pretty sure we just cuddled... I am almost positive the first window stunt occurred before the dam incident in Barton Creek West...
Also- remember when you very first met me? And you climbed on top of the trashcans and up the retaining wall below my room? I thought you were a freak... =)
I love you!
The whole first part of the story, I was thinking "Gee, I would've been a little hesitant to climb without knowing where/how she tied the ladder." Good thing she was holding onto one end because without her brute strength, you could've been a gonner! :)
I loved Boy Meets World.... and Topenga.
I now enjoy watching One Tree Hill... the connection?? Minkus is in both :)
As far as I was concerned, she was perfect. She was at least as smart as I was, was a dancer and had the body to prove it, and had a smile that could disarm the national guard. Let's call her Julie.
So, like an earthworm stalking it's prey, I put my usual game on her. Since my last flowchart was so popular, I've made another one to show you how I dealt with the ladies back then:
Nedless to say, things went slowly. We hung out nearly every day for the last couple months of our Senior year summer vacation. Like many guys, I was totally oblivious to her attraction for me. One morning Julie came over really early while I was still sleeping, and squeezed into my twin bed with me. I woke up, and assumed that she must be tired - it didn't even occur to me that she might like me. Finally on the last week of that vacation she said to me,
“I didn't like the sound. That noise my mom made when she would try to breathe. It was like a moan, like the sound someone makes when they were having a bad dream. But she was awake. She looked so tired. My dad was just sitting there in the chair next to her. His eyes were burning like coals. She was crying as she breathed, her body shaking with each inhale, her knuckles white as she gripped the side of the bed. My dad didn't say anything, but he looked really upset. I think he was crying...He stood up and turned off the light that was next to my mom. The room got dark, but I could see my dad leave down the hall.
It was really dark, but I could see my mom because the light of the streetlamps out the window. She kept shaking, her breathing becoming worse. It was grating, and didn't really keep any pattern. I walked over to her, but stopped when I was a few feet away. She looked down at me, and I could see that she was mouthing something too me. I couldn't make it out, and I asked her to speak up. Instead, she reached out her hand to me. I took it, but I didn't like it. It was cold and damp with sweat.
I heard my dad come back into the room. He had a pillow and a rope. I looked back to my mom, but she had coals where her eyes should be. I asked her to close them, that she was scaring me. She wouldn't, just kept staring at me. I tried to shut them myself, but my dad grabbed me. He told me to sit by the wall and not move at all. There was ribbon on the floor. My birthday was earlier that week. We hadn't cleaned it up.
I remember an old family tradition we used to have around Christmas. We would open our presents, listening to an old record my dad had of holiday music. But at a certain point, soon after we had opened our gifts, my dad would excuse himself. He would return after a few seconds, bearing a gift for Mom. There would be a red bow on the box, and after she finished opening it he would place it on top of her head. She would smile then, and they would kiss. Looking back I don't think the present mattered. But I knew I missed her smile.
Dad was saying something to my mom. She didn't seem to be listening. She just looked at me, not blinking. Dad leaned over her and kissed her on the cheek. Then he took the pillow and he placed it over her face...She was thrashing around, and I could hear her making an awful noise. Even under the pillow I could hear her wheezing. I felt like I couldn't breathe too. It felt like there was a knot in my throat. I told my dad to stop, but he wouldn't listen. I wanted to move, but I...I was scared...