Boy Meets World was my favorite show ever. I bought a huge clunky VCR from a garage sale, ,and would use it to record every rerun I could find. On Fridays I couldn't wait to go home and watch the new episodes.
But besides providing a world of entertainment and a huge crush on Topanga, the show also added something to my lifetime list of musts. I had to climb into a girl's window at night. Hey... that sounds like I'm a rapist. I mean when she's expecting me.
I was talking to a girl online that I had a crush on, who also had a crush on me. Maybe the only genuine crush I've had since becoming a pick up artist.
"I want to see you."
"I can't. I'm at my parent's house and they have an alarm."
(note - this girl was not underage.)
"That's okay. I'll build a rope ladder and climb up."
It was a joke.
"Yes. I'll be there in an hour."
I went online and found a site that showed how to make rope ladders. Then I drove to Wal Mart and bought two really long ropes.
It took me a lot longer than an hour to get to her house, because making a rope ladder isn't as easy as it seems. With that firsthand knowledge under my belt I parked a few houses down, opened the trunk, and dragged my balled up rope ladder to her house.
What would the neighbors think if they saw that? What possible reason would I have for having half a kilometer of rope balled up in my arms at midnight in the suburbs?
I crept up her driveway and pushed past the bushes. Her room was in the front, exposed to the street. We whispered to each other and she threw down a kite string.
That was smart. I hadn't thought of how to get the ladder up to her.
I tied the string to my homemade ladder and she pulled it up to her window. I was expecting her to be really impressed with my ladder and shower praises down upon me. I was really proud of it.
"Ok, I tied it."
I began climbing up the rope. Since the rungs were just made out of rope, the sides clamped down on my shoes as I tried to climb. The rope swung back and forth as I climbed past the first story window.
That's why they don't show this shot on TV. It's clumsy. You always see the grand entrance from the inside.
I finally made it up to the top. I pulled myself in through the window and scrambled across her desk onto the floor, headfirst like a worm.
Then I saw her "knot". All she had done was wrap the excess around one of the legs of her desk and was holding onto the other end. I guess they're too busy selling cookies in girl scouts to teach knot tying.
We got into her bed and true to the act's sitcom roots, we made out and engaged in light petting. The only difference was that there was no audience to say "oooh!", and every slight noise made me wonder if her father, a gun owner, would randomly drop in.
He didn't, and a few hours later I climbed back down and drove away. It's always satisfying when you just did something that could land you in trouble and are now in the clear.
I sat in my car and turned the key. That's when a thought hit me hard, so hard that I remember it today, several years later.
Her parents had no idea that one of the most well known pick up artists in the world were in their daughter's bed as they slept. They wouldn't have ever considered the bizarre and remote possibility of it. It couldn't possibly enter their minds. But it happened.
Later she would become my girlfriend, and they both ended up liking me, ironically.
But that thought led me to another more startling one. What don't I know? What things that I could never possibly contemplate have occurred? What things will I never know?
Haha, definitely a comment worthy post (as are all of them hehe).
I remember a window climbing episode once myself. I first jumped up on one of those tall green garbage bins that are provided by the township. Then I put one foot on a metal fence, it was about 8 feet high and had 2 big dogs ont he other side, and finally made it onto the roof. The roof creaked, and I was sure they would hear me. Eventually I made it head first into the window and right onto the bed. She also had a weird cat. The end.
Your realization about what you don't know about is absolutely hysterical. It reminds me of the Tucker Max story. In the story, a girl came over and gave him a BJ right before she went out on a date. He ended up freaking out about the fact that this could have happened to him. =)
Oh, the lady in question.. give more gossip?
Stuff like that bothers me, like, who could be looking at me right now?
And this reminds me of the time i went to visit a now ex girlfriend who lived in Sweden at the time.
I pretended to be at work and then out with parents for a meal, but i was actually flying over there and got there at about 2am, and woke her up with snowballs on her window.
She didn't know until i woke her up, and her family had no idea until we all woke up the morning after.
So pretty similar, except i didn't have a rope ladder and didn't leave in the morning!
I need to do more stuff like that...
Tynan! That rope was NOT going anywhere! Haha, my desk at my parents' house is a nine foot long workbench. There was probably 8 feet of rope wound in figure eights around the main 2x4 support boards under there. Then I was holding the other end just to be on the safe side! =P
I don't think I kissed you, either. I'm pretty sure we just cuddled... I am almost positive the first window stunt occurred before the dam incident in Barton Creek West...
Also- remember when you very first met me? And you climbed on top of the trashcans and up the retaining wall below my room? I thought you were a freak... =)
I love you!
The whole first part of the story, I was thinking "Gee, I would've been a little hesitant to climb without knowing where/how she tied the ladder." Good thing she was holding onto one end because without her brute strength, you could've been a gonner! :)
I loved Boy Meets World.... and Topenga.
I now enjoy watching One Tree Hill... the connection?? Minkus is in both :)
As far as I was concerned, she was perfect. She was at least as smart as I was, was a dancer and had the body to prove it, and had a smile that could disarm the national guard. Let's call her Julie.
So, like an earthworm stalking it's prey, I put my usual game on her. Since my last flowchart was so popular, I've made another one to show you how I dealt with the ladies back then:
Nedless to say, things went slowly. We hung out nearly every day for the last couple months of our Senior year summer vacation. Like many guys, I was totally oblivious to her attraction for me. One morning Julie came over really early while I was still sleeping, and squeezed into my twin bed with me. I woke up, and assumed that she must be tired - it didn't even occur to me that she might like me. Finally on the last week of that vacation she said to me,
I can never really pinpoint when my first real crush was. It might have been in fourth grade when I use to eye goggle a girl I believe whose name was Jessica. She had beautiful eyes, brunette hair and she always wore a purple coat everywhere she went. I mean almost all the time when I saw her. Thankfully I didn’t have a full grasp of what would arouse me of a woman’s body so I wasn’t in dire frustration. It was all about face for me. And it still is. Whenever I see a beautiful woman walking down the street I always have to make sure to see her face. I guess it is part of my aesthetic checklist.
But if I had to pinpoint my first real crush it would have to be in the summer of 1996. It was the year of the Atlanta Olympics. I was watching the U.S. gymnastics team perform when I saw for the first time the girl who would take over my whole summer. Dominique Moceanu. She was performing her floor routine. It was basically a timed musical dance but with tons of more flipping. Moceanu was performing under the song “Cotton Eyed Joe”. A horrible song, but with her dancing and gymnastic prowess I could care less for the crappy country song. She pranced, she swayed and by the time she was done I was trying to name our five kids that we would soon have together.
Now in 1996 the internet was new for me just like everyone else. But this new technological resource for me was used every waking moment trying to find pictures of Dominique Moceanu whenever I can. I don’t know what I did once I saw them but I knew that I had to download any picture (before we shortened that word into pic) just to get a glimpse of her. I don’t know what she presented in me but I do know that everything around me ceased to function once I saw her on television or on my computer.
I didn’t know about her biography but from quick tidbits that I listened to from the over enthusiastic commentators of the Olympics she was born in California to Romanian parents. She started to learn gymnastics at the age of three which I hear is little too early for them to start but not too early. Take that from what you will. At the age of ten she trained with the famous BélaKárolyi. The rest is history. Moceanu went on to be part of the world famous Magnificent Seven alongside Shannon Miller, Dominique Dawes, Kerri Strug, Amy Chow, Amanda Borden, and Jaycie Phelps. I followed their work like the equivalent to a thirteen year old girl cutting out pictures of One Direction. It still boggles me today why no music manager in 1996 ever wanted to make a musical record with them. I would so buy their Album covering Abba songs. I would have gone to their concerts and start a fan club the moment there first single came out on Mtv. I would have started a fan club and it could have been called the “I Heart Moceanu” of course but the others would get my attention as well……sort of.
It was a big year for the seven gymnasts. For years the Russians were kicking our ass and this was the first Olympics that the Americans won a gold medal as a team. So more press and that meant more times for me to look at the beautiful Roman princess. Sure everyone was paying attention to Keri Strug because of her miraculous blah, blah, blah, but Moceanu was all I cared about. What made me admire Moceanu the most was she never cried. It was something to see. Every time any other gymnast made a mistake like miss a turn, flop a flip, or drop on their face, when they finished they walked towards their coach and started balling. Not Moceanu. She literally fell on her head on a balance beam and I mean pile drive her own head on it. Not an ounce of emotion. And I mean none. BélaKárolyi would try to coax some sort of emotion out of her from the side but she had an” I don’t have time to bleed” attitude. It was hard not to fall for her.