I walk down to my stupid community mailbox to check my mail. The idiocy of these types of mailboxes strikes me, as it has every other time I've checked my mail. Bills. Magazines. Junk Mail. A package slip!
I couldn't remember what I ordered, but that happens a lot. I start driving towards the post office, eager to get whatever gadget I've ordered this time. Stopped at a red light, I look more closely at the slip. It's not a package, it's a certified letter. And it's from the IRS.
I had assumed that I would eventually be audited. I pay my taxes and all that, but my record keeping department is less than exemplary. Actually, it's nowhere near exemplary. This was inevitable.
I press on the accelerator, eager to get this over with.
There's no one in line at the post office, so I go straight to the pickup window. The lady goes to the back to dig up my letter. Noticing my heart rate increasing, I try to lower it. "This is a great opportunity to practice remaining calm in anxiety laden situations", I think. I take a few deep breaths and try to stop fidgeting.
My eyes lock with the post office employee's for a second. The IRS. I'm getting audited. If I were a human, I'd be slightly embarassed. I sign for the letter and open it as I walk back to my car.
It's a thick envelope, full of pages. I scan the pages as I flip through them quickly. Collections. Leins on property. Seizure of assets. This looks scary.
I get to the end of the packet and find no reference to what they want. I go through it again more slowly, and I find a bill.
I owe the IRS $125.
Yep. That damn estimated tax payment bites us lazy contractors in the butt every year. I guess I'll be getting mine soon.
I owed a little over 4 grand one year, because I was a contractor and never paid in quarterly like I was supposed to. I paid the 4 grand with a credit card. I am still paying on it, nearly 10 years later.
Two words: Screw The Government.
I woke up and stumbled to the front door to check for packages. I wasn't really expecting one, but you can never be too sure. To my surprise there was a small brown box waiting on the doorstep for me. What had I ordered? I couldn't remember. I walked back inside and tore the package open.
Inside was a book and a board game. Not just any book and board game, though - they were abominations thrust in in front of my virgin eyes. The game was called A Hot Affair and the book was Penthouse: Naughty by Nature: Female Readers' Sexy Letters to Penthouse. Confused, I check the shipping address. Sure enough they weren't meant for me.
They were my neighbor's.
I woke up today feeling a slight twinge in my lower back. This is usually a sign that I need to make an appointment with the chiropractor for a readjustment of the spine. So I went off to work, got out of the car, and the twinge turned into a 'twang!' as something shifted in my pelvis and gave way.
I've had it happen before, where a pelvis/hip joint goes out of alignment and you get sudden pain and and inability to move properly. When it happens - like it did today - I can't straighten my back without it seriously hurting, so I walk with a slightly hunched over back. I also walk with a limp, because I can't straight the leg either, without causing more pain. So I try to deal with the pain I have and walk like the hunchback of Notre Dame....
When it happened today I limped from the car into the office building and then called my chiropractor. Luckily she was able to see me straight away, so I limped back out to the car and drove to see her, where she did some 'adjustments'. Lots of bones cracking later, and I felt a bit better, and drove back to work.
I spent the rest of the day trying to do my work while resting in the chair, but it didn't work very well. Every time I had to get up to talk to someone or go somewhere, I was in a lot of pain. So eventually I went home about 2:30, having had all I could take.
Since then I've been at home relaxing, taking it easy, trying to let the problem sort itself out.