Comments on: The Most Important Trait http://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait Life Outside The Box Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:12:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Wolfyhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-140035 Wolfy Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:38:38 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-140035 Er...I think being "authentic" attracts others only if your authentic personality is attractive to begin with.If you're a shy dork and coworkers ask you to hit the bars with them and you are "authentic and real" and say "no thanks", then they all look at you like you're from Mars. A LOSER from Mars. So where does that get you?I think sometimes you have to be inauthentic in order to get what you want (respect from coworkers, into a relationship with girls, nurture a new friendship, etc.) Er…

I think being “authentic” attracts others only if your authentic personality is attractive to begin with.

If you’re a shy dork and coworkers ask you to hit the bars with them and you are “authentic and real” and say “no thanks”, then they all look at you like you’re from Mars. A LOSER from Mars. So where does that get you?

I think sometimes you have to be inauthentic in order to get what you want (respect from coworkers, into a relationship with girls, nurture a new friendship, etc.)

]]> By: Arunhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-129157 Arun Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:39:46 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-129157 So I've decideded that being "authentic" doesn't mean you have to be "recklessly truthful" all the time.For example, yesterday at the gym, one of the regular personal trainers came up to me and said, "Hey man, awesome work! I can tell you've bulked up and added size! How much more do you weight?" Now in all honesty, I've actually LOST weight in the last month. So, I didn't want to say "you're actually way off" so I just went along to make him feel a little better. I didn't want to throw his compliment back in his face, so instead I graciously accepted.Authentically me :) So I’ve decideded that being “authentic” doesn’t mean you have to be “recklessly truthful” all the time.

For example, yesterday at the gym, one of the regular personal trainers came up to me and said, “Hey man, awesome work! I can tell you’ve bulked up and added size! How much more do you weight?” Now in all honesty, I’ve actually LOST weight in the last month. So, I didn’t want to say “you’re actually way off” so I just went along to make him feel a little better. I didn’t want to throw his compliment back in his face, so instead I graciously accepted.

Authentically me :)

]]> By: Tynanhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128955 Tynan Fri, 01 Feb 2008 01:03:03 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128955 Star: I agree with you. I certainly went through that phase, and I think it's a necessary (or at least convenient) evil.Sono : I don't fully practice what I preach here, so I should be taken with a grain of salt. However... I wonder if it really WOULD be that bad. I know that personally sometimes I NEED to hear things that I don't want to hear.When I was in Hollywood, the pickup artists were extremely authentic and blunt and they told me a lot of things that no one else would. I grew because of it.Also, when you are known to tell the blunt truth, compliments have value. The kind of person who is always trying to please people cannot offer a worthwhile compliment.Another thing that Blanton argues is that we avoid saying things not because of the other person's feelings, but rather because we're scared to face them. I know that's true of me sometimes.It's an interesting topic to think about. I will say that the handful of times I've told someone something I knew they didn't want to know, the END result was better.Tynan Star: I agree with you. I certainly went through that phase, and I think it’s a necessary (or at least convenient) evil.

Sono : I don’t fully practice what I preach here, so I should be taken with a grain of salt. However… I wonder if it really WOULD be that bad. I know that personally sometimes I NEED to hear things that I don’t want to hear.

When I was in Hollywood, the pickup artists were extremely authentic and blunt and they told me a lot of things that no one else would. I grew because of it.

Also, when you are known to tell the blunt truth, compliments have value. The kind of person who is always trying to please people cannot offer a worthwhile compliment.

Another thing that Blanton argues is that we avoid saying things not because of the other person’s feelings, but rather because we’re scared to face them. I know that’s true of me sometimes.

It’s an interesting topic to think about. I will say that the handful of times I’ve told someone something I knew they didn’t want to know, the END result was better.

Tynan

]]> By: Will Buchananhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128925 Will Buchanan Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:38:00 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128925 Very inspiring post! I'm going to make more of an effort to be as authentic as I can in my daily life as well. Very inspiring post! I’m going to make more of an effort to be as authentic as I can in my daily life as well.

]]> By: Starhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128921 Star Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:31:33 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128921 I think authenticity is great. But some people who are just starting in the community need the canned stuff just to get comfortable. Besides if being yourself worked, then the community wouldn't have the things it has today, like routines and such. I think authenticity is great. But some people who are just starting in the community need the canned stuff just to get comfortable. Besides if being yourself worked, then the community wouldn’t have the things it has today, like routines and such.

]]> By: Sonohttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128918 Sono Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:24:03 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128918 There is authentic and then there is also plain rude. I believe myself to be an authentic individual but I would never tell someone something they obviously didn't want to know. I don't think its my job to give everyone I know or meet the dose of cold reality they don't want to see. I would hate to be the guy that blasts the hopeful college student into a mickyDs job because I told him I don't think he is smart enough to make it through, truth or not.If they want the truth and ask for the truth I will tell them the truth. There is a common sense element here. I would never tell my wife she is gaining weight, nor would I tell my mother she annoys me when she calls to complain about stuff. IT WILL HURT THEIR FEELINGS, they are southern and proper and above all courteous.I might work it a little more with people I could care less about, but there really aren't that many people on the planet I could care less about. There is authentic and then there is also plain rude. I believe myself to be an authentic individual but I would never tell someone something they obviously didn’t want to know. I don’t think its my job to give everyone I know or meet the dose of cold reality they don’t want to see. I would hate to be the guy that blasts the hopeful college student into a mickyDs job because I told him I don’t think he is smart enough to make it through, truth or not.

If they want the truth and ask for the truth I will tell them the truth. There is a common sense element here. I would never tell my wife she is gaining weight, nor would I tell my mother she annoys me when she calls to complain about stuff. IT WILL HURT THEIR FEELINGS, they are southern and proper and above all courteous.

I might work it a little more with people I could care less about, but there really aren’t that many people on the planet I could care less about.

]]> By: Arunhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128841 Arun Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:57:59 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128841 Ty hit it on the money. People who are authentic, are inherently well liked and are magnetic to the people around them. Of course to be authentic, you also need to be "tactful," for lack of a better term, in some situations. Ty hit it on the money. People who are authentic, are inherently well liked and are magnetic to the people around them. Of course to be authentic, you also need to be “tactful,” for lack of a better term, in some situations.

]]> By: Mikehttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128591 Mike Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:42:35 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128591 Man, I wish their was a prescription pill for this authenticity thing. Oh well, I guess all there is to do is keep working and chipping away at the block until one gets there. Would anybody know evident signs of reaching authenticity? =D Man, I wish their was a prescription pill for this authenticity thing. Oh well, I guess all there is to do is keep working and chipping away at the block until one gets there. Would anybody know evident signs of reaching authenticity? =D

]]> By: Daytonhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128545 Dayton Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:36:30 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128545 *hands Jenny some Aspirin* *hands Jenny some Aspirin*

]]> By: Jennyhttp://tynan.com/the-most-important-trait/comment-page-1#comment-128478 Jenny Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:25:12 +0000 http://www.tynan.com/the-most-important-trait.htm#comment-128478 Amen. Except that I think a lot of people make a great effort to inauthentically come across as authentic by picking and choosing what to present of themselves.I think I just gave myself a headache composing that sentence. Amen. Except that I think a lot of people make a great effort to inauthentically come across as authentic by picking and choosing what to present of themselves.

I think I just gave myself a headache composing that sentence.

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