Wow. I try to keep things positive. I really do. But this is just unbelievable. The Luxor casino and hotel in Las Vegas, NV has the worst room service you can possibly imagine.

Now, I like a lot of other things about this casino. The restaurants are great. The casino hosts are fantastic. They send me things in the mail to give me free rooms, food, show tickets, and more. And then when I get here they put me in a cool room with a jacuzzi in the bedroom. So overall I really like the Luxor and will keep coming back.

"Ok, but it's going to take an hour"

That's what you hear when you order from room service. Even if you're in the penthouse suite, you still have to wait an hour. That's fine in itself - I know it takes a while to make food and bring it to me. What irks me is the way they say it. It's almost like they're trying to discourage you from ordering. Maybe it's good advice.

The waiters are polite and helpful. They're the only good part about room service. They will set up your table anywhere you want it and serve the water and stuff. Maybe it's not really that above and beyond the expected, but in contrast to the otherwise horrendous operation, it's like they're offering you their firstborn kid.

When the time comes to dig in, you invariably realize that your order is totally messed up. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I've had breakfast in my room at least 7 times now, and every single one has been messed up.

"I only want tomatoes, spinach, and peppers in my omelet."
"Ok, an omelet with only tomatoes, spinach, and peppers?"
"Yes. Only tomatoes, spinach, and peppers."
"So no onions or mushrooms?"
"Definitely no onions or mushrooms. Please make sure because my order has been messed up the past 6 times"
"Ok sir. Are you sure you want to order? It will be an hour"
"Yes."

This is the abridged version of my ordering conversation every morning. Then every time I get my order it has more onions and mushrooms in it than the entire produce department at the grocery store. I invariably try to pick around the mushrooms (they're the true offenders - onions are fine), and give up hungry after a few minutes.

Then I call back and demand to have it taken off the bill, or get a new one if I have the time (which is usually screwed up as well).

The omelet fiasco is my rock. I know that with every order I will get a defective omelet. However, there are also some bonus disasters most meals. Every single breakfast comes with toast. It's on the menu. I don't really like toast, but I find it absolutely hilarious that sometimes they forget it. EVERY BREAKFAST COMES WITH IT. If you don't see a bucket of toast on your cart, but you do see breakfast, GO BACK. More impressive was the substitution of RICE PUDDING for oatmeal. RICE PUDDING. Hilariously it was served with brown sugar and raisins just like the oatmeal is.

Oh, and I almost forgot! The other night we ordered two hot fudge sundaes with extra fudge and extra nuts. (Yeah, I don't eat raw when I'm in traveling because it's not practical, so I try to enjoy the violation). They brought us two pieces of chocolate cake with a bowl of fudge and a bowl of nuts on the side. WHO DOES THAT? I just can't fathom anyone putting that on a cart and believing that they have the order right. Has anyone in the history of mankind actually ordered a bowl of chopped nuts to add to their cake?

I could go on and on, considering that they screw up 90% of the meals we order, but I think you get the point. I'm going to finish my smoothie now since it's the only part of this order that I have any desire to eat.