Wow. I try to keep things positive. I really do. But this is just unbelievable. The Luxor casino and hotel in Las Vegas, NV has the worst room service you can possibly imagine.
Now, I like a lot of other things about this casino. The restaurants are great. The casino hosts are fantastic. They send me things in the mail to give me free rooms, food, show tickets, and more. And then when I get here they put me in a cool room with a jacuzzi in the bedroom. So overall I really like the Luxor and will keep coming back.
"Ok, but it's going to take an hour"
That's what you hear when you order from room service. Even if you're in the penthouse suite, you still have to wait an hour. That's fine in itself - I know it takes a while to make food and bring it to me. What irks me is the way they say it. It's almost like they're trying to discourage you from ordering. Maybe it's good advice.
The waiters are polite and helpful. They're the only good part about room service. They will set up your table anywhere you want it and serve the water and stuff. Maybe it's not really that above and beyond the expected, but in contrast to the otherwise horrendous operation, it's like they're offering you their firstborn kid.
When the time comes to dig in, you invariably realize that your order is totally messed up. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I've had breakfast in my room at least 7 times now, and every single one has been messed up.
"I only want tomatoes, spinach, and peppers in my omelet."
"Ok, an omelet with only tomatoes, spinach, and peppers?"
"Yes. Only tomatoes, spinach, and peppers."
"So no onions or mushrooms?"
"Definitely no onions or mushrooms. Please make sure because my order has been messed up the past 6 times"
"Ok sir. Are you sure you want to order? It will be an hour"
This is the abridged version of my ordering conversation every morning. Then every time I get my order it has more onions and mushrooms in it than the entire produce department at the grocery store. I invariably try to pick around the mushrooms (they're the true offenders - onions are fine), and give up hungry after a few minutes.
Then I call back and demand to have it taken off the bill, or get a new one if I have the time (which is usually screwed up as well).
The omelet fiasco is my rock. I know that with every order I will get a defective omelet. However, there are also some bonus disasters most meals. Every single breakfast comes with toast. It's on the menu. I don't really like toast, but I find it absolutely hilarious that sometimes they forget it. EVERY BREAKFAST COMES WITH IT. If you don't see a bucket of toast on your cart, but you do see breakfast, GO BACK. More impressive was the substitution of RICE PUDDING for oatmeal. RICE PUDDING. Hilariously it was served with brown sugar and raisins just like the oatmeal is.
Oh, and I almost forgot! The other night we ordered two hot fudge sundaes with extra fudge and extra nuts. (Yeah, I don't eat raw when I'm in traveling because it's not practical, so I try to enjoy the violation). They brought us two pieces of chocolate cake with a bowl of fudge and a bowl of nuts on the side. WHO DOES THAT? I just can't fathom anyone putting that on a cart and believing that they have the order right. Has anyone in the history of mankind actually ordered a bowl of chopped nuts to add to their cake?
I could go on and on, considering that they screw up 90% of the meals we order, but I think you get the point. I'm going to finish my smoothie now since it's the only part of this order that I have any desire to eat.
It's almost as if they're trying to drive you down to the floor where you can gamble and give them lots of money.
But I'm sure it's just that they're busy being awesome in other ways.
Man, I always sleep way more than necessary when I'm traveling. It's those damn room darkening shades.
I've given up sticking to my diet when traveling, though. It's too inconvenient for me and for those I'm traveling with. It was fun eating steaks and fish and stuff, but I'm glad to be back in Austin and eating raw.
The worst thing about travel is that you don't get enough sleep. I don't do polyphasic. I'm either insomnia or a big piece of furniture that snores. Oh were was I...oh yes...
When I went to Austin for the Tri-lair meetup thingy (Dallas,Austin and Houston) we got a really great location right on 6th street near Katz's deli (which I love!).
The problem was that the room was so freakin noisy. Someone above us was flushing the toilet every 15 minutes and it was very loud. It sounded like washing machine was grinding away...
My buddy Enigmass was with me.
And we got the room free because he complained to the manager.
But that didn't help me get any sleep.
I was worn out for the drive back to Fort Worth.
The other thing that is sub-cool about staying at hotels/motels is that you can't really sleep in. I going out until 4 am is great but then check out is at 11am! Arrrrggghhh.
Of course the Church of Polyphasia is the answer, brother. Amen.
tynan, they have no idea what you mean. mmmmbut that isn't an invitation for you to explain it... hahaha
LOL! That's hilarious.. sorry Ty...
You do write funny about it, so that's nice...
"chopped bowl of nuts with chocolate cake" pffff :D
I'd be running around the hotel with squirtguns (is that what you call em?) acting like a kid..
But Ty, you also gambling? I thought you quit that biz.
Hey my spelling is not so good, I cant argue with a woman that carried the infamous herbal from the bushes.
I got an e-mail yesterday announcing the 2008 Winter Sale for an outdoor gear company.
"That's strange," I thought, "their e-mail software must have messed up. It's not even close to being winter."
I guess you could say that I've adapted to the eternal summer of Panama. In five days it will be time to adapt again, this time to people who speak the same language as me. Eight days after that it will be time to adapt to the polar opposite of Panama - Tokyo.
So I'm not going to lie. I eat a lot of vegetables. I like them. They like me. But man it takes a lot of time to prep them. So I've simplified my life quite a bit when it comes to vegetables. Every Sunday I cut up a huge amount of veg. I typically do something along the lines of:
Leafy Greens (Pick one or more from below)
Kale (either green, red, or black)
Swiss Chard (I usually go for a rainbow bunch, because they're pretty)