This is going to be the first article in a brand new category called "Social Skills" added to my seemingly-random category list. This series is especially for you pick up people out there. In my time teaching, I always had a good feeling for who would be successful and who would not be, way before we ever went out.
The reason was that some people had blatantly bad social skills. Face it - if you can't interact with GUYS properly, you're starting with girls with a major handicap. So here we're going to talk about everything from e-mail to gift giving. What's first on our radar? Being late. Read on...
Some people are notoriously late for everything. I used to be one of those people myself. But over time it annoyed me when people were late so much that I put in the work and changed that habit. That's not to say that I'm ALWAYS on time. Sometimes it's better to be a little late, and sometimes there are unforseen circumstances. But make no mistake - everyone notices how timely everyone else is, and this can be used to your advantage. Here's a list of common situations, and how prompt to be for each.
There you have it - a complete guide to promptness and lack thereof. When in doubt, though, just be on time. If you are chronically late, you will almost certainly be less respected by those around you, so this is an important change to make. If you have that problem, then start off by leaving 15 minutes early for everything and being early for everything. Once you get a handle on that, you can start getting fancy by following my guidelines above.
I like the idea of showing up early to a party for preselection reasons. I find that being the first one in allows you to develop a relationship with the most amount of people. So by the end of the party, you have more people to converse with and you're getting more smiles from people.
Blondie girl here.
being late on a first that?oh oh ,that i dont like.it goes a long way to show disrespect.for me that wuld be the last date.cheers
Nothig worse then an IP being 30 minutes late, and then acting like its no big deal. "Oh dude.. im sorry, so, lets breif quick."
Business meeting with a partner: Being late is a genuinely bad practice. Like you observed early in the article, people pay attention to others' punctuality. When a colleague -- either a peer or a superior -- is consistently late, it's fantastically annoying and unprofessional. Where I work, I meet regularly one-on-one with my instructors, and I follow the idea that five minutes early == on time. Like your first bullet, when you're meeting with a superior, you want to be there earlier than he is as a show of respect.
But I'm there early so that when he's there on time, I'm not leaving him waiting. When my superior arrives late, it doesn't generate an atmosphere of dominance, it just annoys me. It outlines his lack of respect and makes me less eager to want to work with him in the future.
On movies: I remember when I was a kid, my dad used to absolutely insist we get to the theater like an hour early. literally. even for third-week showings. It wasn't until high school that I realized people did anything else. 17 minutes late, so that you sit down as the movie's actually starting -- that's right on the money, man.
For about a year now, I've been very punctual. Before making a concerted effort to be on time to everything, I was like any other average person-- sometimes on time, often a few minutes late, occasionally very late. When I identify something I'm bad at, especially something with a prescription that requires little more than willpower, I get very excited about it. That isn't to say that there are so few of these things that they're hard to find, just that introspection can be difficult, making identifying personal weaknesses tricky.
My initial impetus to become punctual was partly that it was an easily correctable deficiency, and partly that it seemed like a trait of a champion. Would most people I admire show up on time to things? Yes, they would.
As I thought more about it, especially during the early phases where being on time was a bit of a challenge, I realized that punctuality is more than just being on time. It's an extension of your honesty.
It is very important to me to never lie. I'm not perfect, of course, but because this is such an important thing to me, I do a good job of it most of the time. When I thought about it, though, if I say that I'm going to be somewhere at ten thirty, and I show up at ten thirty-four, that's a lie. It's a small lie, but it's a lie nonetheless. Even small lies have an effect, both on others and myself.
Agendas aren’t sexy, but they make you a better human.
Here is how to create one:
Before a call or meeting, you ask, “What do we want to accomplish on this call/meeting?”
You write it all down.
This becomes a set of points you use.