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Odd and Unimportant Quirks I Have

Nothing fancy today. There are a bunch of things I do that are fairly unique but probably wouldn't ever come up on this site. Maybe some of them will give you ideas, or maybe you'll just think I'm weird.

Intimacy squared: my relationship with polyamory

On You're the one(s) that I want.

Ten years ago when I was in high school, my best friend told me I was a cheater.

What I know now that I didn't know then is that I am fundamentally non-monogamous. But growing up, I didn't see examples of relationships that were anything other than monogamous, so in order to express myself — in order to be myself — I cheated; I developed intimacy outside of the confines of my romantic relationships and the unspoken yet rigidly-defined boundaries that came with them. Of course, these boundaries were defined by society, not me. It took me many years to realize I had the power to redefine relationship boundaries at all — and that doing so didn't make me a bad person.

I vividly remember the first time I acted on my desire for deep intimacy with someone other than the person I was "supposed" to be sharing intimacy with. I was 16 years old, and I had a boyfriend of two years whom I loved dearly. Charlie and I had a remarkable soul connection, as if we had known each other in another lifetime. Yet, despite my fondness for him, I was also starting to feel drawn to a friend named Wyatt.

Wyatt and Charlie were polar opposites. Where Charlie was emotional, passionate and artistic, Wyatt was driven, flippant and fun. They were both very sensual people, but in remarkably different ways. To Charlie, sex was a beautiful, sacred act that was not to be taken lightly. From what I could tell of Wyatt, physicality was meant to be rowdy and wild — an adventure. On a basic level, I wanted a taste of Wyatt's version of sex after having experienced Charlie's. But I've come to realize my desire for a connection with Wyatt meant so much more than that.

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