Since Krunkaoke got shut down, I go to Rain every Wednesday. It's a gay club that does Karaoke on Wednesday nights. They have a good selection of songs, a cool light up stage, and a laid back attitude towards me including "nigga" in all of my songs. The downside is that I get hit on / groped by gay guys, but I can deal with it.
I get home at 1am and I check on my fish. They've had tail rot on and off for the past few months. I've put hundreds of dollars of medicine in the tank trying to fix them, as well as adjusting their food and cleaning the tank and doing more frequent water changes. When I moved to my new place they got a lot better, but have since gotten worse.
I noticed that one of the black tetras was doing really badly this morning. His fins had all but distenegrated and he couldn't swim properly. It was really sad - he was the only remaining fish from the first group that my friend gave me. It seems dumb to get attached to fish, but I really love them.
Now, twelve hours later, he's doing worse. He's been sucked up against the intake for the filter and doesn't have the strength to pull away from it. I nudge him with the net, but he gets sucked right up against it again. He's going to die.
With no chance of recovery, I put him in a plastic cup and walk over to the freezer. He can't keep himself upright, so he's lying on his side looking up at me with his little eye. I feel really bad... I'm about to kill him, and he has no idea. I'm sure all his fish brain knows is that I'm the guy who feeds him.
I put him in the freezer. It's the humane way of killing fish - as if killing things is humane. I lie down on my bed, which Evan is sitting on. She tries to console me, but I just want to stare into space and be alone. She leaves, and as soon as she's gone, I burst out crying.
I haven't cried in two years, not since I broke up with Katya. It's that same feeling, too, doing something you know is right but hurts the other person/fish (ok, I just smiled for the first time after writing that).
Then a friend who has cancer calls me with bad news. Suddenly the fish doesn't seem like such a big deal.
Well its the cycle of life dude. I had a 35centmeter Oscars, lived for 10+years , they used to eat from my hand, they could ring a bell if put in the tank, they would play with a ball in the tank, the smartest fish I ever heard of. When the first one died I gave it to the neighbours cat to eat, I couldnt watch though. Point is we are all on that way so dont fell bad, just know how preciouss is your time here and the way you treat others when they are alive.
PS: Get Oscars - Astronotus Ocelati
thanks for making me all sniffly this morning before i've even had coffee...
just think about the amazing party we'll be having when i'm better. hopefully it will involve karaoke and copious amounts of goodflow. mil besos.
Hey, I miss krunkaoke! I was just thinking about that the other day. I'll come watch you at Rain sometime soon!
Pfft a fish is not a very strong creature... Get a goldfish or better yet have your friend get you another fish.. then it's just as special.... Ohh or get a crab.. those are fun to watch.
That sucks man. When my last cat died I cried like a 4 year old girl for 2 days. He was my friend. Pets, even fish, ask for nothing, and give unconditional love. Just remember, "he's not really dead, as long as we remember him"
Wait a few weeks, cycle maybe 75% of your water, and then get fish 2.0, and pretend like the last fish was the new fish's brother.
My friend Jonah decided that he was going to break off his long standing relationship with the more common bills and use two dollar bills as the primary fodder in his wallet. I thought it was ingenious. Here's why:
I never like copying people's quirks, but this one is too good. I told him that I wanted to copy it, but whenever anyone remarked how cool it was, I would give him credit. He agreed.
I went to the bank yesterday and as I was leaving, I remembered that I wanted to get some deuces (oh, did I mention how cool all the nicknames are for them?). They had just gotten a shipment in, so I got my hands on a freshly minted stack of 100 sequentially numbered two dollar bills. Thanks for the idea, Jonah!
I recently encountered a profound experience with my cat, Buddy. Buddy is an male orange tabby, friendly and loves attention. But one thing he doesn't do is jump up on someone and lie down - he's not a lap cat. He's very content to just lie beside you on the floor, and be in my company, receiving scratches here and there when I reach out from the couch or chair I'm in.
Yesterday, I was laying on the couch, eyes closed, relaxing and breathing, trying to just take in and enjoy the moment. I was focusing on the sounds from outside that I could hear - birds singing, a lawnmower in the far distance. Cars on the street behind us passing by. I slowed my breathing, and counted each breath in, and out, practicing staying within myself.
Then, I felt something tap my hand. I opened my eyes, and there was Buddy, front paws up on the couch, and he had tapped my hand lightly with his paw. He was just staring at me. I reached up to pet him, assuming that's what he wanted and he moved his head aside. Strange, I thought, for a cat to avoid a head scratch. So, I let my hand return to laying on the couch and I just watched Buddy. He looked at me, look at my chest, looked at me again, and jumped up. He walked onto my chest, and curled up into a comfortable position.
Now, as I said, this is completely unlike him. He's never been comfortable lying on someone, yet here he was, doing it by his own choice.
I smiled, and closed my eyes again, and returned to my relaxation technique. Shortly afterwards, I became aware of Buddy's weight on my chest, his warmth, and the sounds of him very lightly purring. A wave of contentment rolled over me, and slowly as it did, Buddy's purring became more pronounced, which in turn spurred my contentment. Suddenly, both he and I were in a mutual positive spiral, his purring spurring on my positive feelings, and my positive energy spurring more pronounced purring. We laid like this for about 15 minutes, when I was forced to break from our experience, and take a washroom break.