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I wasn't going to write this story because I think it was a super crappy thing for me to do and I'm not particularly proud of it. Then I told the story to a friend the other day and cracked up so much that I realized I had to write it.
Many years ago, when I was still in college, I was perhaps even more prone to prankery than I am now. I sat at a friends house, bored, playing with the stupid utilities that came with all Macintosh computers. One of them was the text to speech application. After the obligatory profanities, I got down to business. I called Pizza Hut and tried to type fast enough to carry on a conversation. It wasn't quite doable. The clerk on the other end got frustrated and eventually, with an air of resignation, said, "Ma'am (it was a woman's voice on the program), do you just want a pizza for free?".
I cackled with glee (not synthesized) and gave a phony address. My friends and I laughed and rejoiced until we realized that our trophy was sent to someone else's house. Then we felt cheated.
I used to lie a lot when I was a kid. I wasn't intent on deceiving people, but for some reason I would just tell made up stories. They weren't even fantastic stories, they were just things that hadn't happened. I really have no idea why I did it.
One day I was hanging out with my friend Ryan and his family. We had just gone to a movie and were driving back to his house. Right as we were driving down his street I told a story to everyone in the car. I don't remember the story, but I remember it had something to do with cabinets. Hey, it was a long time ago.
Ryan's mother innocently asked a question that began with, "Wait... if you did that, then how could you have..."
Nothing fancy today. There are a bunch of things I do that are fairly unique but probably wouldn't ever come up on this site. Maybe some of them will give you ideas, or maybe you'll just think I'm weird.
We grow up being told what to do and what not to do and can't wait until we're adults and can do whatever we want. When we finally get there, there are new people like bosses, cool people on TV, and the government who try to tell us what to do again.
I don't mind getting into a little trouble here and there, so I tend to push the envelope a bit. However, even if you want to stay on the right side of the law, here are a few things that you probably THINK you have to do, but don't really.
Have any more to add? Put them in the comments and I'll add good ones here!
Right now I'm sitting at Casa De Luz waiting for my friend to get here. I'm using a cool wireless card from Sprint, which is my main internet connection now. For those of you who are nerds, I downloaded at 160k/sec while driving in my car. Pretty wild.
Anyway, sorry for not writing frequently lately. I've been a little burnt out I guess. Today I did something a bit different and I recorded myself reading the first chapter of the best kids book in the land. As I mention in the recording, this book is pretty much responsible for me being who I am. If you want to ensure that your kids don't come out like me, definitely don't let them read this book.
There's actually a whole series. I think that the chapter I read is one of the less interesting ones, but I chose it because it's first and I'm one of those people who hates spoilers of any kind.
Now that I'm #1 on Google for my name, I've been getting more people to the site searching for that. Many of them share my name, which is awesome.
My parents chose the name out of a name book randomly. They wanted me to have a name that had no previous associations with anyone else. It's Irish, although I'm not Irish at all.
The dark side of having a unique name is that I missed out on a whole side of consumerism. I never had a little license plate or keychain with my name on it. Those were reserved for people with more common names.
I hate Paypal. In the early days of gambling I used Paypal to send money to casinos, and Paypal would occasionally screw me over. They held all deposits to casinos for 30 days so that if the casino went under, players wouldn't get screwed. That was nice of them.
One time I deposited $10k and a casino went under. They never gave me any money despite a number of calls and e-mails. Oh well.
I use paypal when I absolutely have to, and that's it. Google checkout came along, and I was happy about that. I like Adwords, Adsense is ok, Search is awesome, etc. I figure with their "Don't be evil" motto, I'd have nothing to worry about.
If any one thing defines me, besides supreme awesomeness and authentic gangsta flavor, I'd say that it's my materialistic bent. The fact of the matter is that I usually love buying things. I love finding the best deals, I love buying the best of things (yeah, sorry... had to put that project on hold for a minute). There have been weeks where I've gotten a package every single day. Check part of my intro in the game :
In his spare time - which was basically all his time - he explored caves, recorded extremely catchy rap songs, and surfed the Internet for unusual items to buy and then never use.
It's true too. I have a $500 fountain pen. I don't even handwrite anything ever. I have three japanese LED watches, one watch with a GPS, another that tracks my sleep patterns, another that monitors my heart, and I don't wear a watch. I have the best toaster in the world (Dualit), the same one the queen uses. I use that a few times a year.
Hey guys. Everyone once in a while I feel the need to have one of these posts two write about little things that don't really deserve their own posts.
First, my book is doing great! The most important thing is that people are really enjoying it and getting a lot out of it. The less glamorous side of it is that even though it's launched, it still requires quite a bit of work. Right now I'm writing the 10 day bootcamp (you can sign up on the front page). I've written 7 days, so only 3 to go! I'm also writing three "special reports", mini ebooks on some specific topics. With typical internet marketing, it's important to have these. I don't mind, though. I feel like there are a few things that I could have gone into more detail on, so I'm using those as topics. If you bought the book, you'll get those as free updates. Thanks a lot to everyone who has bought the book so far!
Next, I am now #1 on google! If you search for "Tynan" I am #1 and #2! One of my life goals was to make it so that I was first for my first name on google, and I've done it. The best part is that you can type in "Tynan" in google, and then click "I'm feeling lucky" and it shows my page. Obviously having a unique name like "Tynan" makes things easier, but I was still up against 1.5 million other pages. A lot of the credit is due to people who link to me and have "Tynan" be the clickable text. I can see everyone who links to me and I always go check their sites. Thank you guys very much!
Ok guys, I've been a jerk. I'm free and clear from any sort of job but I work just as much as ever and haven't been writing here often enough. At least the adsense is gone! Now the only ad is my book. I hope that I make up for it here, because I think this is one of my best stories to date. Enjoy:
Austin, Dan, and I go to play pitch and putt golf. Pitch and putt golf is golf for people like me who are bad at golf. You have two clubs: a putter and a wedge, and that's all you need. The holes are short.
We walk up to the counter to rent our clubs and buy some balls and I notice a check taped to the glass counter. It's for $32 and has a note attached to it.