Ok, serious question here: what would happen if I started habitually using the ladies' room? I'm sitting at JFK airport right now, and I just went to the men's bathroom. It's filthy. I mean filthy filthy.
Some of the displays of filth are so bad that I can only assume people have never used toilets before. Everything is in the wrong place.
I don't understand how it happens. Are these accidents? Do people enjoy displaying their work for the next guy?
I'm on my way to Maine this afternoon, which means I've been too busy packing and stuff to write a good post. Oh well - happens to the best of them.
A few people have recently asked about the song I made for Mystery, so I thought I'd post it so that people can rock out appropriately over the weekend.
Yesteday Todd and I were choosing a place to go to lunch. I normally go to Whole Foods because they have healthy delicious food, unlike almost everywhere else. However, we wanted to try somewhere new. How about Veggie Heaven?
I'd never been there before, despite living across the street from it for two years. I used to eat awful food on a daily basis, and considered vegetarian and vegan food to be for hippies. I still do, actually.
Anyway, we get to the restaurant and are handed three menus each. The main menu had almost fifty items in it. Many were marked as being vegan. Hey, this must be healthy, right?
As I may have mentioned before, I am a huge fan of cruises. Although I haven't gone on one yet this year, I usually go on at least one or two every year. Where the cruise actually goes is wholly unimportant to me. Half the time I sleep through the stops anyway, and just stay on the boat. I just like having no cell phone, having great food available 24/7, and sitting on the back of the boat watching the waves.
It takes a certain type of person to enjoy a cruise. Usually that person is an old person. My friend Jonah and I are the two exceptions. I think we've gone on two cruises together, and each time we were the only people remotely close to our age. So much for meeting the hot ladies pirate-style.
On one such cruise we woke up at our usual time - 3pm. The boat was docked in Mexico, and was leaving at 5:30, meaning that everyone had to be on the boat at 5.
Wow, that was a really busy week. I'm not used to being busy at all - back in the day I had all the free time I could possibly imagine. Maybe it's about time to revisit polyphasic sleep? Here are some things that made me busy :
Work, of course. I've been waiting for weeks for a company to send us a new computer for our data center that lets me do fancy things. Last week it seemed like every day was going to be the day that it would be ready, so I would just wait all day for it to be set up. Then there would be some problem, and the process would repeat itself the next day. Finally this week it got all set up, so now I have more to do than I have time for. Yes! I love having things to do. It just so happens that this particular task is really fun too.
My car broke AGAIN. I have a 1994 S600, which is known to be one of the hardest (read : most expensive) cars to maintain. The reason is that it's a V12. Since it's basically two V6 engines stuck together, it also has two of a lot of components. Twice as many things to be broken. It also has a hydraulic suspension, which is what broke on mine. Of course this time I didn't take the car to the dealership.
If you're wondering why I always put my name in the topics of these things, it's not because I have a huge ego. I do have a huge ego, but I do it so that my name gets better search rankings in google. My goal is for people to be able to search for "Tynan" and for my site to be number one. Soon. If you want to help, like the almighty Magnus, you can link to my blog and put my name in the link.
Today Doug, Steve, Steve's (ex?) girlfriend, Todd and I headed down to Canyon Lake, TX to do some tubing. You see, I bought the sweetest tube ever to bring to the lake. The thing actually flies 15 feet in the air behind the boat. I think I wrote about it before, but I'm not sure. Anyway, the first time we tried I skipped along the water, but didn't really take flight because my weak human lungs couldn't inflate the tube enough.
Today before going to the lake I bought two different pumps to ensure that the thing would actually inflate. As it turned out, the boat rental place had a sweet air compressor, negating the need for our own pumps. Oh well... you owe me one (two?), Wal Mart. Our rental boat was a shoddy looking boat most certainly manufactured before 1990 which was apparently very fast. The interior was a coccoon of brightly colored vinyl couches covered by a weathered bimini top. I climbed aboard and with the help of Todd, tied the monsterous tube to the boat.
I woke up and stumbled to the front door to check for packages. I wasn't really expecting one, but you can never be too sure. To my surprise there was a small brown box waiting on the doorstep for me. What had I ordered? I couldn't remember. I walked back inside and tore the package open.
Inside was a book and a board game. Not just any book and board game, though - they were abominations thrust in in front of my virgin eyes. The game was called A Hot Affair and the book was Penthouse: Naughty by Nature: Female Readers' Sexy Letters to Penthouse. Confused, I check the shipping address. Sure enough they weren't meant for me.
They were my neighbor's.
So yesterday the Treo 700p was finally released. For those who don't know, this phone is the new hotness. It has 128mb of ram, a 1.3 megapixel camera, and EVDO high speed internet. If you aren't a big nerd, then take my word for it - it's great. You can even stream TV and movies on it. If you have Sprint or Verizon, then this is the phone for you.
The price is $649. This is a lot, but I always like to have the cheapest or the best, and this is the best.
However, with a little finagling, this beauty can be in your hands along with a free 1GB SD card next Tuesday for only $549. Here's how you do it :
I recently began a quest to become a deputized police officer. I want to get a police badge so that I can enjoy whatever perks come along with it, but also I'm fascinated to find out more about the police. As part of the process of getting the badge I will have to undergo standard police training and will actually do some policework every month.
I've been jumping with excitement over this new discovery. I can't wait to become a police officer. I mean, who wouldn't want a police badge?
Nothing groundbreaking here today (is there ever?). I just wanted to take a second to thank everyone for reading my site. It's a great feeling to know that every time I fill another green page full of words, hundreds of people will read it. My favorite e-mails to get all day are the ones that say I have a new comment. I especially look forward to the comments from regular readers.
Growth has been slow recently, but I'm up to an average of 500 readers per day. There are also huge spikes due to popular stories (like those on the right sidebar) which drive my readership to the thousands, but even on bad days I get at least 400-500 readers.
More encouraging is the fact that people are staying longer and reading more. In fact, almost 15% of the people who visit this site stay for over an hour! I'm really flattered that people are that interested in reading what I have to say. Also, around 40% of the readers are repeat visitors.