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Have Less Acquaintances, More Friends

For the past year or so I've made an effort not to socialize. Sounds weird, but I figured that the only way I could really see just how much I could focus on SETT would be to cut out everything, even things that seemed somewhat important.

If really good friends invited me to something that seemed like it would constitute quality time, as opposed to just not-being-bored-time, I would go as an exception. Through those infrequent occasions, I'd meet new people once in a while. And sometimes these new people were just so amazing that I couldn't help but become friends with them, too.

For the first few years in San Francisco, I felt like I had tons of acquaintances, but only a few really good friends, and even those friends were people I knew before moving here. Even some of the people I hung out with a lot were just acquaintances-- our friendships never deepened, and when they moved away it didn't really feel like a loss.

Now I feel like I have no acquaintances and a lot of really good friends. There are a few people I hang out with who aren't really good friends yet, but it feels like things are moving in that direction.

Believing Things That May Not Be True

In poker, you make money whenever your opponent plays differently than he would if he knew what cards you have. When you do the same, you lose money. In other words, whenever you act in a way that you wouldn't if you knew the truth, you're making a mistake.

The same could be said for a lot of life. The more of the truth you face and accept, the better off you're going to be. Sometimes it's hard to hear the truth and sometimes it's even harder to accept it, but we're always better off when we do. This is one of the reasons my good friends and I always give each other harsh criticism: it helps us see and accept the truth.

There's one counterpoint to this idea that I'll suggest: sometimes you're better off intentionally believing things that aren't true, even when you know they aren't true. This is a special sort of of belief, though, because you know that it's not completely accurate, but you decide to act as though it is, and to truly try to feel as though it is.

I'll give you a few examples that I hold:

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