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Not That Kind of Person

For the past month I've been working out regularly under the tutelage of Dick Talens, the founder of Fitocracy, and for the first time ever I'm making actual gains. Seven pounds gained so far, and substantial increases in the weights I can lift.

When we first started going back and forth about the training, I said something to the effect of, "I have the irrational idea that I can't possibly gain weight no matter what I do." I gave Crossfit a try for a while, and probably gained around 3-5 pounds within a year and tried Tim's Occam's Protocol with no real success. Back when I had a house I put a bench in my server room and even rigged up a lat pulldown system by putting pulleys in the ceilng. No gains there, either.

The reason I decided to get training from Dick was because I figured I could put to rest once and for all the question of whether or not I'm able to build muscle. I wanted to know what was possible, how much effort it required, and how much time it would take. As I rested in between sets today in the gym, I kept thinking about how I never thought I could gain weight, just because "I'm not that kind of person". I thought about other times I've felt that way and been wrong, and the different patterns these thoughts fall into.

There is No Way

Two Types of Failure

On Feed Your Happy

Being on the cusp of launching HumanityR, it is terrifying to know that I am setting myself for the opportunity to fail.

I will be honest when I say that, a small part of me wanted to push back the launch because I didn't want to fail out loud. This is probably one of the most terrifying things that I've ever done, it's most definitely the highest risk action I've ever taken.

I've learned that there are two types of failure.

The first, is the most obvious, as well as the loudest. It's that kind of failure where you know you failed, but so does everyone around you. Like the time you were dancing, tripped, and fell into that bush that you didn't realize existed (only happen to me?).

Sitting around all weekend, spending every waking moment working towards launching, I came to conclusion that I am definitely afraid. Afraid of the out loud failure. The one where everyone sits back and watches as I either fly or plummet (gracefully, always).

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