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Lying

I used to lie a lot when I was a kid. I wasn't intent on deceiving people, but for some reason I would just tell made up stories. They weren't even fantastic stories, they were just things that hadn't happened. I really have no idea why I did it.

One day I was hanging out with my friend Ryan and his family. We had just gone to a movie and were driving back to his house. Right as we were driving down his street I told a story to everyone in the car. I don't remember the story, but I remember it had something to do with cabinets. Hey, it was a long time ago.

Ryan's mother innocently asked a question that began with, "Wait... if you did that, then how could you have..."

'Today is only one day'

On Shut Up and Take My Hand

Before I start, I should warn any readers that this post is probably going to be a bit all over the place. Or not. I don't exactly know since that's just it - I don't exactly know. What I'm going to write I mean, I don't know what I'm going to write.

'Today is only one day'...a phrase I tell myself quite often. Whenever I have a bad day, or something happens - an argument, a moment of distance, a day without seeing someone I wanted to see. Its only one day, that's all. And I've lived so many days (5290 to be exact) and have a lot left to live, even today was a completely shitty day...its only one day.

In fact, even if I have a totally shitty week...well...that's just all it is. A shitty week. Doesn't define me or my life, just a little dip that I probably wont even remember in a few weeks time.

Its this constant thought that allows me to even bother with things. Whether that's a relationship with someone, a class in school I'm flunking, some drama with my friends, its just by playing down the trouble at hand that I manage to convince myself to try again tomorrow. Or better yet, to wake up with a more awake, new, less depressed take on the situation the next day.

Of course I'm not saying this always helps, my mind seems to find it very easily to twist my words against me or quietly whisper back my fears and worries in response to me trying to smile. Which can sometimes get to me, constantly being told a lie will allow you to believe that lie. However constantly being told you're only lying to yourself will make you distrust everything you say.

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