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Strong Defaults

I have a technique that I use to deal with a lot of situations that I call setting strong defaults. It started with dating as a means to eliminate the ridiculous and common "but where do YOU want to eat?" loop where each person keeps asking the other person where they want to eat, and tons of time an energy is wasted on a decision no one really cares about. Now I use it for many things, from dating to work.

There's a balance in relationships where women typically want a man to lead in decisions, but also want to be heard and to have the option of having input. Very often men don't realize this and they keep asking their girlfriend what they want to do, only to have the question flipped back to them. They think that they're being nice, but actually they're imposing the responsibility of having to choose on their girlfriend.

To solve this problem, I decided that I would always suggest something with the assumption it would be what we chose, but would always agree to counter-suggestions. So I'd say something like, "Hey, how about if we have dinner at Chipotle?"

If she says that she wants to go to a different restaurant, then I'd just accept and we'd go there, since I don't really care where we eat and my primary motives are to not spend a lot of time deciding where to eat, and to make it easy for her to not have to decide where to eat.

A Little Chaos

On A Germinating Seed

So, this is around the time in the semester when you start to plan what you're going to do for the next semester. We schedule our classes. We apply for research opportunities, maybe. We apply for peer advisor jobs, maybe. And how could you really know what you're going to do next semester when you are still balancing out how to deal with this one?

I don't know, but it is stressful.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts running through my mind. Last week seemed a little bit chaotic. But, it seems that every week is little chaotic.

Last week I had my interview for Project SMILE board. I registered for some of my classes for the upcoming fall semester, which could be a complicated process. I had a very big literature review due; it’s worth most of my grade in the class. And I went home for Easter.

Lately, I’ve been feeling incompetent.

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