No Passion

I love failure. When it occurs, I’m pretty indifferent to it, but as a concept I love it. Failure lets you know that you’re doing something wrong. It shines a light on a personality trait that needs to be fixed,one that probably would go unchanged if it weren’t for failure.

People who fail and get angry are missing the point. Failure is opportunity. It’s like getting angry that your car tells you you’re low on gas. The indicator light isn’t the problem,the level of fuel is. Further, hiding the failure doesn’t solve the underlying problem. Disconnecting the indicator light won’t fill up your gas tank, but filling up your gas tank will turn off the light.

During my tenure as a pickup artist, I never took failure personally. It never mattered to me. Each time I failed, I felt as though the girl had revealed a secret to me. No attractive girl is chaste her whole life, no girl is a bitch to every guy. If she didn’t want me to call her, that meant that there was something unattractive about me that I had to change. Compliments and success stroke my ego, but honest critical feedback leaves me thinking for months.
I have failed financially so far. It’s not that I’m poor, or anywhere close to it. I’m sure my income, net worth, or lifestyle are impressive or even enviable to a lot of people. I’m so immeasurably grateful for everything I have that I feel a tinge of guilt on a daily basis for not spending the entire day thanking everyone who has made my life so great. However, despite whatever success I have, I am not where I want to be. I will be a billionaire, I will own my own submarine and airplane, and I will spend the majority of my life traveling and seeking adventure. I’m not nearly as close as I should be to these goals, and I’m not exactly on the express train there.

Why?

It was hard for me to put my finger on why. I’m smarter than a lot of people who have hundreds of million of dollars. I have more discipline than anyone I know. I embrace risk, but have a background which has given me the knowledge to evaluate every risk and make the right decision most of the time. I have good connections and a handful of people who would invest in projects I do. I’m surrounded by smart people who give me good advice and would love to work with me. I even have a blog where people take interest in my life and offer me their thoughts. I understand people. I’m good at a lot of different things from rapping to building web sites. Is there a critical element I’m missing?

There is.

On Thursday I was sitting at the office about to redesign another web page. Steve, my boss and friend, came into the office and we started chatting about the Jay-Z concert. That evolved into me talking about wanting to be a rapper. He asked if that’s really what I wanted to do.

“I don’t really know. It seems fun.”

He thought for a moment. I have a lot in common with Steve, so it’s easy to relate to him. Though not identical, we share a lot of the same entrepreneurial ideals and financial philosophies. We even both put all of our money into Berkshire Hathaway. The big difference is that he is very significantly more financially successful than I am.

“It seems like you want to do a lot of different things, but that you aren’t really passionate about any of them.”

It’s true, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t know that I’ve ever read or heard of a success story where the protagonist wasn’t passionate about what he did. I like rap, Tynan’s Angels, this site, my diet book, work at Smiley Media, and whatever other projects I may be involved in at any given time, but none of them are my passion.
He told me about how he became successful and how he was similar but he forced himself to get passionate over one project just by realizing that his attention was too quickly diverted. He told me that he made it his mission to make Smiley Media successful, and that he decided that he wouldn’t quit until it was.

“Did it ever look really bad? Bad enough that you wanted to give up and do something else?”

“Many times.”

It gave me a lot to think about. We started talking about my different projects and interest, trying to find passion in one of them. It wasn’t anywhere to be found. The only thing I’m really passionate about is living life to the fullest, but that’s a selfish ideal that doesn’t lend itself well to starting a business.

He finally concluded that I should focus on becoming the most famous pickup artist in the world. It’s a good idea, but I just don’t enjoy pickup enough to do that. I think I enjoy the notoriety of being a famous pickup artist a lot more than I actually enjoy the act.

He left after we talked for over an hour. I intended to keep working, but it seemed like a trivial task given then weight the conversation had on me. Instead I sat in my chair for two hours staring at the wall thinking. I skated home and continued the thought .

I talked to Evan on the phone, and she didn’t take the conversation quite as seriously as I had, but she agreed. One interesting thing she pointed out was that when I really am passionate about something, it happens. It’s true,how unlikely is it that I would get to live with the best pickup artists in the world and learn from them? I remember telling a friend the first day I got involved in pickup that I would “take it over”. One day I looked up at a building and thought that living there would be the best thing ever,now a year later I live in the best condo in the building. Even my car was a car that I used to dream of having. All of these things happened in roundabout ways that I would have never expected, but they ended up happening.

After a lot of thought, I came to the semi-satisfying conclusion that I don’t know what I want to do, but that I am ready to do it. I have spent years building myself into the kind of person who can do anything. I can adapt in a day to become anything I want (vegan, a neat person, etc.). I have the confidence to think huge and to know that I will achieve what I want. I’m starting to get rid of distractions (this blog stays, but that book I was writing is gone.) I’ll have something exciting for you soon…


Posted

in

by

Tags:

Comments

15 responses to “No Passion”

  1. Alex Avatar
    Alex

    Tynan, I have the EXACT same problem, and I only discovered that it was a problem recently when I was talking with my one good friend about life and goals. I have all these hobbies and all these things that I like to do, but I’m not exactly “passionate” about any of them, or if I am, then I don’t know which one(s). My friend mentioned that all these things might distract me from my true potential and my true passion. Am I trying to do too many things at once?

  2. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    Great post. I hope you are able to find your passion soon, you certainly have the dedication and drive to be sucessful with it.

  3. Dan Avatar
    Dan

    Awesome post Tynan, I’m going to send this bad boy to a couple of friends.

    Could you write some more about how you achieved some of the goals you mentioned toward the end? (the car, the condo, etc.)

  4. Evan Avatar
    Evan

    Ty, you are one of the most determined people I know. I know we don’t really see eye-to-eye when our aspirations, mostly because you want to make a billion dollars and I don’t, but I think you’re selling yourself short in one big way. You’re smart, yes. And you’ve done cool stuff, sure. You’re a great friend. But the thing that sticks out to me is that you find the most unique and interesting avenues to utilize as you pursue your goals. You have so much creative energy. Like I said last night, when you lack focus you start using that energy and creativity to do other things, like stop using electricity. That’s a hobby, and holds no ecological or financial incentive for you. I know you quite well, sir, and I suspect you’re going to find some amazing and original way to figure out just what you ought to pursue, and I would bet it will make you both happy and rich.
    xx

  5. Sir Turj Avatar
    Sir Turj

    Tynan, I consider myself a Jack-of-all-trades, taking pride in being very good at a great number of things and versed on almost any topic. But just recently I finally came to the conclusion that being this “scattered” hasn’t really gotten me to a level of success that I want. It’s been a fun ride, but I have to “grow up” and start focusing on that one thing if I want to reach the next level.

    You seem to be exploring the world, and yourself, which is awesome, but I’m pretty sure this is not how one gets to be a billionaire. Was Bill Gates building “Party Busses” and exploring tunnels, or was he spending every night studying and refining his one big project? Was Warren Buffett spending his nights singing karaoke on stage at 25, or was he busy learning how to invest capital and run companies? Then again, are you sure you really want to be a Billionaire? Your passion seems to be exploration of life. It’s undeniable. Even your goal of wanting to be a billionaire is only a means to get that submarine and airplane. And why those things? Why, to have more adventures!

    I think you have to use your abundant creativity, intelligence, and discipline to find a way to make “exploring life to the fullest” pay you those big bucks. This website would be one way, if it actually paid you b/millions of dollars. Maybe you need to create that TV show you talked about, and have it be about your life? That’s what Bam Margera did. He filmed his passion and now has millions to show for it. Or maybe become the next Tony Robins, teaching other people how to live life to the fullest? Budget 15 minutes, twice a day (I think we think differently in the morning vs evening, so why not get one of each) to brainstorming ideas on how to turn your genuine passion into something lucrative. Write them down, no matter how crazy. You can always judge them later. Keep this up, until. Good luck. Feel free to e-mail me.

  6. intlzncster Avatar
    intlzncster

    Dude,

    You remind me more of John Goddard than you do of Warren Buffett. You’ve probably heard of him, but if not, check this out:

    http://johngoddard.info/life_list.htm

    peace.

  7. Manish Avatar
    Manish

    Fuck it, find some way to make a billion “living life to the fullest.” There HAS to be a way, I guarantee it’s possible.

  8. LadyTea Avatar
    LadyTea

    I read this yesterday, but wasn’t in a position to post.. It’s rather eerie that you’re posting about Passion — For the past 6 months passion has been the reason I have failed multiple times… I might have missed out on one of the greasteast opportunities because I was told I’m passionless – By the time the 4th random person told me this, I was convinced there is something to this passion thing. If I could buy it in a bottle I would.. but apparently it has to come from within.. If anyone comes up with a way to attain it, let me know 🙂 I’m trying to figure out how you can supposedly be amazing at something, yet if there’s no passion, it doesn’t matter how goood you.

  9. LadyTea Avatar
    LadyTea

    oops: “doesn’t matter how good you are.”

  10. StrangerPilot Avatar
    StrangerPilot

    Hi Tynan … I found your blog coupla months ago, and I have been reading it since. Do you know that your blog is refernced about the UT tunnels in Wikipedia? that is how I found your blog.
    I once read, “Life is what happens while you are planning to something else.” I am not sure if it is famous or anything, but I think it is pretty true. I myself have few things tht I like to do, and I wanna have the money to be able to do. On the same hand, I’m not gonna drown into seeking wealth and money to the point tht I stop doing wht I love.
    Anyways … I like ur blog … nd being in Austin u show me alota things going on in Austin tht I have no clue of : ))
    keep it coming

  11. Lori Avatar
    Lori

    I suggest you read some books by Steve Chandler, especially “100 Ways to Motivate Yourself.”

  12. TheReelDeal Avatar
    TheReelDeal

    “The Blog of Destiny”. Lovely.
    Your passion in life is huge part of being a great “PUA”. It’s about who you are and drawing not just girls, but everyone into your life/passion. Otherwise, you’re just button pushing.
    Anyway, speaking of thanking Geoff in your thanksgiving post, he showed me this last summer that I know you’d like http://www.thesecret.tv

  13. trey Avatar
    trey

    Tynan, Tynan, Tynan. It has been too long. I’ve ceased working at your home away from home, so we won’t cross paths as much, unfortunately. Although Elisia mentioned to me that you are vegan now and when I was reading this post you mention it as well. As you know, I myself am vegan, and I am slowly but surely (not all that much free time lately), building and fleshing out my website for… vegan personal cheffing and catering. So bookmark the site and check it periodically. You being the famed sequinned hat man can order services prior to the completion of the website, if you so desire.
    p.s. maybe January 14th or 15th (24 premiere) we could have a dinner or something. I’ll keep in touch.
    p.p.s. keep up the work on the intriguing blog

  14. Streetwise keeb Avatar
    Streetwise keeb

    As the reel deal pointed out you should check out “The Secret”. Its a pretty informative vid.

    Otherwise, to quote Mystery “Any passionate relationship I have began passionately.” Same with things. If I dont start out passionately on something then I rarely get passionate for it later while doing it. I kinda have the same thing where I start out strong and passionate and it kinda wears out for a while. Theres only three things in my life that I have never lost passion for (at least not yet) and thats psychology, living, and pick up. You do so many things and lead such an intriguing and varied life that it would be hard to focus on one thing but I also bet there are things in your life you are extremely passionate for like rap or kareoke. Lifes to short not to be passionate.

  15. J.D. Avatar
    J.D.

    I am feeling this conversation about passion in what I am doing in life but I have to ask… What is a pickup-er?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *