Well... the beat (or music) needs work (to be on Mtv) other vise its ok. The text is ok but I would like to say that... you need to put an emotion behind your rapping. You know like when you are a rAFC and you are choring out lines for HBs but they don't really feel it, and year later with same or even worse material they r giggling all over the place? Thats what I'm talking about. More emotion from where you are coming from, like Eminem is pissed off, niggers are all like cool gangsta shit (better then all the boyfriends ;)... So what is your emotional frame? And don't say vegan polyphasic sleeper or I'll bitch slap you :))

Bender,

Thanks... that's awesome feedback! That's the same criticism Style has - I find it so hard to inject emotion into my rapping. I will rerecord and give it another try though. Thanks!

My standup class is held by professional actors, best in Croatia and once you see these people talk, emote, they are masters of BL and only then you realize how little I was doing, and how much can be done.It teaches me ALOT about emotions and expressions, taking similar class would improve your game, life and rapping. Try acting or standup class it will expand your life, cos infront of audience you are forced to do your best, not like in front of a microphone at home. (Krunkeoke is good I guess).

Yeah, I actually really want to take one. It's one of those things I keep meaning to do, but haven't gotten around to.

I personally like it, I think it's a great start. The background music seems to treble dependant however. You have a higher octave voice (in a cool way) and personally you need more of a bass track added onto it to compliment that voice. Right now, the only mix is the drum machine beat and a slight keyboard riff.

Also, have ya thought about adding an extra female voice into the mix to sing in the background for a chorus. "Meet tynan, better than my boyfriend, quite trying, no lying, cooler then my best friend...so sly what a guy don't pretend...he's better then my boyfriend."

Just some thoughts dude, do what ya will...

Cheers,
Requiem

Ty, good song!

My 2 cts:
I'd like to hear somewhat sharper hihats. The synth could be a bit more "evil", it now sometimes reminds me of a videogame, which I think is not what you want. You could try to put in some more uh's and ah's, that works quite well sometimes. Last and definitely not least: I'd like to hear some more variation in the beat. The beat you have is definitely good. You end the chorus by pausing the hihats, that's good. But try ending the regular 4 pattern with somethin else: more rollin hihats, a few kicks. The beat in "50 cent - How we do" is a great example I'd say. Or "Gangstarr - You know my steez" when he holds the beat.

Lastly tempo-lyrically spoken, I like what you do at 0:38 seconds. In the rest of the song I don't hear you runnin around the beat with your raps. I like that, but maybe that's personal.

Good stuff, keep it comin!

Sorry, Tie, I've been hella-busy recording my hot new album. But you'll be happy to hear that I'm finishing up my part our track right now. PopoZao! PopoZao!

Ty, good work. heard a few of ya raps now... just waiting for the album to drop!

I listened to it last night and decided to see what my sister thought. She loved it and wanted to know if you had a cd out (I said prolly not).... Any who I like it, she liked the beat the best.

Good job

Tynan, I like the song -- if you decide to take Requiem_knight
up on his idea to have a female voice, i'm your girl :) As always, I like the singing-rap. Looking forward to the next one.