Moving from Net-Negative to Net-Positive

When you live in a world with a million different things you could be doing at any time, the decision on how to spend your time is difficult. Ignoring the infinite suboptions in each category, you could be connecting with people, working, organizing, or planning. At any given time there are things you could do in these, or other, categories that would be time well spent. How do you decide which to do?

I don’t think any one strategy can apply to all people at all time, but one of the factors you may want to consider is to see if there’s any area where you can go from being a net-negative to a net-positive.

For example, I’m on a flight back from New Jersey right now. My aunt, uncle, and cousins live there, and I stay with them 2-3 times per year. My aunt is a real estate agent, my uncle is a lawyer, and the cousins who live at home are both in high school, so here’s a lot going on in the house, and I know that as happy as they are to have me visit, my presence creates a burden at some level.

So when I’m there I drive my cousins around, clean the dishes whenever I see them dirty, help with homework, and entertain and teach my cousins things. By doing those little chores I can make it so that instead of being a net burden, I’m a net help.

Another example might be a habit like diet. If you’re eating just a little too poorly, you’re getting fatter ever year, like the average American is. But if you can tighten up your diet and eat healthy foods at a slight caloric deficit, you’ll get skinnier and healthier every year.

We’ve all heard of diminishing returns, where incremental expenditures of effort result in minuscule gains. The opposite are these situations where a small amount of effort can get you a disproportionately large gain.

If I was a burden every time I visited my family, maybe they’d prefer not to have me at busy times like the holidays. And maybe if I didn’t visit during the holidays we wouldn’t be as close, so I wouldn’t make the effort to visit in the summers. The difference between being a net-burden and a net-help might make the difference between having a close relationship with some members of my family and only seeing them occasionally.

If you eat fairly healthily versus slightly poorly, you may be averting a heart attach twenty years down the road, not to mention feeling and looking better the whole time.

The pursuit of mastery and excellence can require fanatical devotion to a single focus, so there’s certainly room in the schedule for those sorts of activities. But when looking to fill time outside those long-term quests, the next best place to put your time is likely to be somewhere where you can go from being net-negative to net-positive.

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I want to start giving talks about blogging. I’ll be in China next month for a couple weeks, and was thinking it might be fun to do a talk there. Anyone know of any cool events / conferences going on?

Photo is from the Parker Le Meridien in NYC.


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