On July 28 I was in my RV heading back to Austin to surprise my friends.and family. As I drove, an e-mail buzzed in. A new comment on a Life Nomadic post, by a girl named Annie.
When I stopped in Dallas for the night I read the comment. A chunk of it:
I just found your website. Wow. I am a vegan, a writer and a budding entrepreneur, with a love for travel and minimalism. Every one of these themes is hit regularly here, so it's no wonder I love keeping up. I've read the whole blog.
Wow, indeed. I'm a member of a number of minorities. Most of them have very little overlap, and my stubbornness makes me look for the same things in a girl.
Healthy vegan. Non Drinker. No drugs. Non religious. In shape. Good with money. Minimalist, etc.
I don't expect girls to have these things in common with me. If I find a girl with just two or three, particularly the drinking and eating, I consider her to be truly exceptional. I meet almost no girls like that.
So you can imagine my excitement to read about a girl who was all of these things AND travels too. Impossible. She must be ugly.
She linked to her Flickr account in the comment, which I visited. After a few minutes of figuring out which one was her, I was shocked. She was really attractive.
I always sort of figured that I might meet someone through my site. Seventeen hundred people read every day. About ten percent are girls. That's 170 girls a day who could match up. And actually I DID date one, but my sister told her about my site and I had met her before.
I sent Annie a short e-mail thanking her for reading the site and telling her to check out this one, since it covers a lot of the same topics. She wrote back and said that she has it bookmarked and is going to read the whole thing in one day. Three hundred and seventy posts.
The next day I got home and surprised my mom, who still thought I was in Europe.
"Wow! Tynan! I can't believe it."
"It's great to see you mom!"
"Did you see that girl who posted on Life Nomadic? You need to e-mail her."
No exaggeration. The second thing my mother said to me after not seeing me for seven months was about Annie. She wants grandchildren REALLY badly.
We sent a few e-mails back and forth, confirming even more similarities. We both hate weddings and don't want to get married. We eat the same way. We have similar families and relationships with them.
A few days later we talked on the phone for and hour and a half. The whole call felt frantic, the kind of call where everything is agreed upon and there are no pauses for arguments. Saying "me too" is a terrible habit, but there was nothing else to say a lot of the time.
The next day came. What now? It was obvious we had to meet, but it was way too early. No girl is going to meet a guy that she met on the Internet after four e-mails and one phone call. Then again, if she really does think like me...
And of course, she agreed. Part of me was shocked, but the other part knew that there was no other choice she could make. The one catch was that we had to wait five weeks because her weekends were booked until then. That didn't sit well with my impulsive tendencies, but it was the only way.
The first two weeks went by dreadfully slowly and the last three passed before I even noticed. Our daily e-mails became longer until the last few days before the trip when we had nothing left to ask.
We never once mentioned dating or anything of the sort, even though it was obvious what our motivations were. It's dangerous to start going down that path with someone you've never met.
Every time I went back home my parents would offer advice.
"Are you going to get new pants?"
"Will you have flowers for her when she gets off the plane?"
"You're not going to wear SANDALS, are you?"
Well meaning, but simultaneously hilarious.
And then finally the day came and I found myself nervously waiting for her in the lobby of the Las Vegas airport. She came down the escalator with just a small backpack like me and "Scattergories", my favorite game, in the crook of her arm. When I saw that, all nervousness disappeared.
It didn't take long for it to feel like we'd know each other forever. We went to Whole Foods as soon as we got there and cooked dinner together (really she did most of the work. I just chopped pears).
We saw shows, went to museum exhibits, rode amusement park rides, visited the Hoover dam, and ran around finding mischief.
Before we met, I tried to temper my optimism with the thought that maybe once I met her there would be something horribly wrong, or that there wouldn't be any chemistry.
But she did everything right. I don't mean that in the sense that she was trying to do things "right", but rather that I wouldn't have wished she had done anything different.
As we walked through the airport to leave we started talking about our next trip, which will be to Boston in a couple of weeks. In an e-mail after the trip she said that she wasn't sad to say goodbye, but rather looking forward to the future.
That's how I feel too. Awwwwwwwww....
(I know the photo is not that great. Much to my mother's disappointment I forgot to take more photos of her.)
P.S. She's waffling on starting a blog. In the comments encourage her to start one. She's a really good writer (at least in e-mails, and it's what she does), and she obviously has a lot in common with me.
P.P.S Her sisters read my site now, too. Hi, Birdie and Pearl.
Good response to G Ty. Great way to represent PUAing.
Write a blog. I hate to be adding to majority opinion without contributing something new to the discussion, but the discussion here's pretty straightforward. More people must advocate the one true lifestyle
Lovely story, Tynan - a day-brightener!
Annie, please post the recipe to that scrumptious looking pie!
A few comments & observations. G, your criticism of PUA is pretty accurate. A quick and painful realization is that all that stuff works, to some extent, but only on specific types of women. You need to be a lot more together and well rounded if you plan on pulling that stuff across age groups, cultures, countries, and types. However, T nailed it ... PUA is scaffolding for folks with esteem or social issues to build up an approach philosophy and confidence. Then you can take the scaffolding away and they can contintue to grow, learn, and generally mix things up as they move through life. Great metaphor T.
As for the comment regarding meeting a guy after 4 emails, and a phone chat ... I'd say you're sorta not taking into account the fact that she read all your posts on 2 separate blogs. That's a life-time of info more than just 4 emails and a phone chat. So she definitely knew enough to be certain if she wanted to meet you or not.
Anyway, great post, hope all's well. Peace.
p.s. Give me a shout if you're ever in Seattle
When I started reading your post I wanted to pipe in and say "Hey! I'm a healthy, single, non drinker, no drugs, gym 5 days a week, home owner, scientist, model and dancer who is not ugly! We are out there!
By the time I got through the post I was grinning, anxious for updates, and half expecting little heart effects to come from her pic. (beautiful woman BTW).
I hope magic happens and the PUA lives happily ever after with the wholesome vegan girl.If not... I live in Boston ;P
Ahh there's a girl! No wonder I can't find Tynan online these days ;) jk.
I think what Tynan meant when he said "No girl is going to meet a guy that she met on the Internet after four e-mails and one phone call," is that no "good, sane girl" would do that. It's expected for a slut to go home with you as the commentator above mentioned, but not a well-balanced, self-confident, and all around awesome girl like Annie.
Hi Ty, it was good to see you the other day. Hope the air mattress was comfortable enough lol. You're the first person who's ever deflated & rolled it up for me before leaving... and left me a banana & can of beans, too! :)
Hm, it seems I've chosen to leave a comment within your Annie write-up. Hm... well, all I can say is I hope you gave her a ride on your electric skateboard. :D
As far as I was concerned, she was perfect. She was at least as smart as I was, was a dancer and had the body to prove it, and had a smile that could disarm the national guard. Let's call her Julie.
So, like an earthworm stalking it's prey, I put my usual game on her. Since my last flowchart was so popular, I've made another one to show you how I dealt with the ladies back then:
Nedless to say, things went slowly. We hung out nearly every day for the last couple months of our Senior year summer vacation. Like many guys, I was totally oblivious to her attraction for me. One morning Julie came over really early while I was still sleeping, and squeezed into my twin bed with me. I woke up, and assumed that she must be tired - it didn't even occur to me that she might like me. Finally on the last week of that vacation she said to me,
“You should tell her the rule, Ty!”
“What’s the rule?”
“The rule about pants in your bed.”
“Oh yeah, you can’t wear pants if you’re in my bed.”