Last night was rough. Waking from a nap in the middle of the night does not jive with me yet--daytime is much better. When waking from a nap in the middle of the night, your mind starts saying stuff like "what's the point of this shit", "maybe you should do this later, after school...you might fail your tests if you don't get sleep." It's funny how my mind has a bullshit generator installed and running in the background at all times to keep me safe. It will belch out some instant rationalization why I shouldn't move past my limits at the first sign of discomfort. Fortunately, in this instance, I'm able to recognize it and adjust accordingly.
I didn't have much to do last night, as I had little planning going in to this. We were supposed to start on Nov. 21st. Every activity, and every minute of every cycle were to be planned out in a spectacle of time-management, but we jumped the gun and just went for it, figuring we could always do that later.
I felt really good, alert, and positive after my 2:30 nap today, although my body is seemingly cold and hungry at all times. My low blood pressure causes me to have cold extremities most of the time anyways, so I can deal with it. Before the nap I had drowsiness and heavy feelings in my chest and of course eyes.
I overslept on my earlier nap today. Ty calls and is like "are you sleeping, I'm coming over" I'm like "No, No, I'm always up", not feeling like taking a verbal berating in my fragile state. I think we both knew I was full of shit.
I thought I was done. I had no extra naps last night, and felt good throughout. But I slept right through the alarm this morning. I had turned down the volume on my computer to listen to some music and forgot to turn it back up before the nap. Also, I think I might be associating the wake up song with sleep now that I've had it waking me up 10+ times in 2 days. So now I have a presleep ritual:
1. Check volume
2. Check timer
3. Change the song.
Nursing at night is a common point of contention. I've read and heard so many comments about baby sleep patterns that are completely opposite of my experience, I wondered if the commenters even had kids. What were they doing that made their experience so much different than mine? Did I figure out the magic that allows me to sleep and feel rested without night weaning?
At first I didn't trust my experience because I only had one child. That's only one data point. Kids are so different. Sleep patterns can vary wildly from one child to another. Then I had my second kiddo. And that's when I started to feel like I was some weird phenomenon. I nursed two kids, at night, on demand, and still woke up most mornings feeling rested. What was I doing so differently?
This is about nursing at night, not just sleeping right? Yes. I've realized that my attitude around their sleep habits have allowed me to nurse at night, on demand, and get the sleep I need too. Because we cosleep and I don't freak out when they wake me up at night, I can nurse and fall asleep nursing like I was never awake. I rarely wake fully. My mind and body have come to expect the night nursing sessions and have adapted such that I can be available to them in a zombie like quasi sleep state. My mind is lucid enough to get a nipple to the right place, then I'm off to sleep again the next instant.