Comments on: Living Transparently

By: jenny

jenny — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 18:50:41 +0000

This is the best post ever. I live my life consumed by thinking “what will ___ think” in everything I do. I cant turn people down, get walked all over, I usually dont end up doing things I like with my time or have to find excuses and tell lies to make time for my simple pleasures. Its hard for some people to understand this, but your post hit home hard for me. Starting today I am going to work to change this. Leaving this reply is step 1. Thank you Tynan.

By: Yavor

Yavor — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 09:21:28 +0000

Yeah, I got a friend who’s been in jail and he never tries to hide it and folks accept it after they get to know him.

By: Wolfy

Wolfy — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 03:44:42 +0000

I agree… for the most part!

There are often things that happened in our past that are incongruent with the person we are now, so why should anyone have to know about this irrelevant dirty laundry? Especially if you are fairly certain this knowledge would make them think less of you and possibly end the friendship. Sure, you could counter with, “you wouldn’t want someone so closed-minded as a friend anyway”, but hey, not everyone needs to be your best friend forever and so why risk losing the opportunity for a possibly rewarding acquaintanceship, just because you feel compelled to never lie?

By: Murphy

Murphy — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 02:03:11 +0000

I’ve been living like this for over a year now.

What I really have a problem with is discretion.
Just because I’m honest doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be discreet.

I also have a problem keeping other people’s secrets. I try to limit the secrets I know and I make people aware that they have to be explicit with me if they don’t want me to tell anyone. But I still find it difficult. I find it hard to keep track for one thing. I really need to work on this.

By: Glen Allsopp

Glen Allsopp — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:54:41 +0000

Awesome post dude, and I loved the video.

The truth is always the best option :)

By: Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:33:26 +0000

Wonderful post, Tynan. I have always valued the fact that I can trust you more than anyone I know. However, the number one reason I broke up with you was because you wouldn’t tell your family you were dating me– even when we went to go stay with them in New Jersey… It definitely made me feel like you were not proud of being with me. =\

Anyway, I love you and miss you and can’t wait for you and Todd to come visit me after I move! (in June, woo! So soon…) <3

By: Bill Riddell

Bill Riddell — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:12:39 +0000

Thanks for clarification Tynan.

By: Tommy

Tommy — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 17:56:49 +0000

Agree.

By: Tynan

Tynan — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 15:22:47 +0000

Hey Bill,

There are a couple people (Annie and Todd) who I am 100% honest with, because both have a track record of taking it constructively.

The rest I am brutally honest with if they request it, but I won’t necessarily offer commentary unless they tell me they wanted. So I wouldn’t say, “Hey, stop eating cake. You’re fat.”, but if they asked if I thought they were fat, I’d say yes.

Tynan

By: Bill Riddell

Bill Riddell — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 09:22:20 +0000

Thanks for sharing Tynan, well said.

I’ve been working on this for a while now and your post has tipped me over the edge to keep pushing with it until I am completely honest. Almost there.

One thing you really didn’t mention was being honest about your thoughts of people. Where do you stand on this?

If someones behavior is not to your liking do you tell them? If Todd is bugging you during LN, do you tell him or do you hold your tongue?

Likewise if friends ask for your opinion are you brutally honest, or do you sugar coat it or lie entirely?

The bulk of my lying now is not so much to protect my ego/image but to protect others.