I'm not in the game anymore, and haven't really been in it for a while. If I'm in a nightclub it's because I'm singing karaoke, and as soon as the line gets too long, I'm gone. I've been in relationships ten times as much as I've been single since leaving LA, which means that the only real "sets" I do are the once or twice yearly opens to blow someone's mind.
The standard question I get from any girl I talk to is, "are you doing it to me?"
The answer is, "yeah, probably."
It would be like me playing a pro at golf. Even if he's just there to have fun, he's going to be playing a good game. Is he using all of his golf knowledge? Of course he is-- he can't help it. He doesn't know how to play poorly anymore.
As someone who has only played one round of golf in his life, I look out at the course and I see a nice park with some holes and flags in it. A golfer sees possibilities. The right edge of the fairway bordering a sand trap near the green means something to him. To me it means nothing.
When I talk to a girl, I know how interested she is and what she's thinking about. I know how different things I could say would affect her. I know her subconscious motivations for saying everything she says.
Her facial expressions, body language, tonality, phrasing, and a hundred other cues mean something to me. To someone else they'd mean as little as a golf course means to me.
(Ironically, most girls have this awareness as well. Studies have shown that women engage in four times as much conversation throughout their lives than men do, which gives them this ability.)
Even if I have no intention, I can't help but see what's going on. I don't plot and strategize with my responses in conversation, but my natural instinct has been trained to act in an attractive manner. In the same way a pretty girl attracts guys without trying, I attract girls without trying.
For me that was the whole point of pickup to begin with. I wasn't in clubs because I loved them or because I wanted to become a super player. I was there because I wanted the unconscious competence. So I put in the time and effort and dealt with the pain to get there.
That, by the way, is the path I'd recommend for people interested in learning pickup. Go full tilt and dedicate all of your time to it, since that's the only way you'll get legitimately good, and then quit and move on with your life. The important parts will stay with you.
I get it and I think you're doing the right thing. The "pickup artist" label can be a burden, specially if you're in a relationship. For me it's only natural to relax and keep only the useful stuff about something once you've mastered it.
I agree that claiming to have mastered something is quite likely arrogant. I don't know how good Tynan is, but I think his point is that he has made pickup a habit, and doesn't need constant practice to be good (frankly I suspect that practice is necessary to keep a high level of skill, but maybe he doesn't need a high level of skill for what he does, or gets enough practice in daily life). But I am going to use your example to have a quick rant on using malcolm gladwell as a source. Please don't take personal offense, but this has been annoying me for sometime. Malcolm Gladwell writes compelling books that take something that seems unlikely a first glance, but is common sense on the second, and "proves" it through entertaining anecdotes. He is not scientific. So please don't use his rules of thumb as some sort of proof. The 10000 hours is the perfect example of abuse. Professions and skills are so diverse, and of such different complexities, that giving a set time to master them is ridiculous. Even Gladwell didn't intend the 10000 hour rule to be more than a general estimate. Now people act like that is some sort of hard and fast level you have to achieve to be an "expert" (however that is quantified). All he really did in outliers was give a lot of examples of how some people got lucky, and took advantage of it by practicing a lot. Wow: practice makes perfect. Luck is important. Great insight there. Okay bile spewing over. Just please don't act like Gladwell has proven something or done anything other than bring attention to some interesting if obvious phenomena.
More radical honesty: Sometimes your blog is preachy and you sound like you know it all. Your proclamations about becoming an internet poker pro and quick dismissal of any warnings being a prime example. From the Barry Kirkey show it sounds as if the Project Hollywood glory days were greatly embellished and it was mainly a huge cockfarm.
HOWEVER, your ebook was FANTASTIC. There is a lot of PU material out there, A LOT of great info, A LOT of crap. If someone came to me and asked for dating help I'd say read Tynans book and NOTHING ELSE. Not that there is nothing else good out there, but having too much info is as bad as having too little. If Ty's book doesn't help you nothing will.
Congratulations on re-entering the human race. Whites have exploited every resources on the planet due to their greedy and evil nature. The pick-up artist is just an organized effort to exploit the most valuable resource of all. It is a mass raping of women in general and is demonic in nature. Your next logical progression towards becoming a human being again will be to acknowledge how you have contributed to the destruction of society and repent.
A man's job is to nurture and care for a woman to build her up, not exploit damaged and vulnerable women and cut them down with cheap mind games for sex. You write with the attitude of someone who is wise and experienced, but you know very little. I see a scared little man with no knowledge of self, who is convinced he has it all figured out. White people have a long way to go if they ever want to achieve salvation.
Yeah, it really is a bit arrogant and pointless. I had a better idea of what I wanted the post to be when it started out, and the end product doesn't sit well with me either.
I've been tempted to delete it for a few days, but think it's a dishonest thing to do.
radical honesty: this is one of the most wildly arrogant pieces of writing in the history of the PU community and that's really saying something.
in outliers, malcolm gladwell writes its a scientific fact you need at least 10,000 hours to obtain MASTERY in any activity. there is no way any of you guys except possibly mystery have hit the 10k hour mark talking to girls. yet you all claim complete and total social mastery with women. its laughable.
Thanks Drew, leaving the community makes a lot more sense. And Ty, I wouldn't be surprised if the community is reluctant to let you go. It says a lot that a person can come in, develop the skill set, and leave having actually learned and mastered everything he wanted to know. Congratulations.
You are changing, growing up, becoming a man now.
No more trying to be better than your boyfriend even. You are dong what you like and what you think is important and I think everyone likes this about you. Even the name of your site has changed to reflect this change in attitude
You are not trying to impress, or get girls or show off. You are trying to do what makes YOU happy.
I get it and I think its a change from the past and for the better.
I will say though that "Ã¤re you doing it to me?" line was corny beyond belief hahahah
tc, am reading this site like everyone else to see that life can be lived outside the box
As I've been immersing myself in poker, I've been overwhelmed by the parallels with pickup, in theory, practice, and in my experience as a student.
I'm not sure if this is pure coincidence, my mind trying to find a pattern where there's not one, or a genuine underlying pattern that probably extends to other areas of learning.
Pickup is the only other thing I can think of that I learned rapidly and by immersion. I made it my world for a year or two. As a result, I remember the learning process, whereas something like web development I can't really remember because I've been learning gradually.
In a relationship, am I wrong in thinking that its essentially a guy's job to chase the woman and the woman's to keep the man? Of course I only mean on the surface because relationship stuffs is normally just a mess.
Just to point out that I'm really just talking about 'on the surface' so no I'm not saying that that's how it really is, I'm saying that's pretty much how its viewed.
Ok lets get started! So the situations I've been, considering the small amount of life experience I have, are not enough to prove or support anything, so I'm going to focus on situations older people would be more likely to find themselves in. Oh, that and girls' school doesn't really give you that much experience with guys in a school environment (no shit XD)
It's expected of a guy to start conversation with a girl, chat them up or just talk, its expected of a guy to pick up a girl, not the other way round. It's even viewed that a girl who starts flirting with a guy is slutty or desperate, in contrast (most ._.) guys are viewed as confident when they approach a girl. In my opinion I feel like that view is only subjected by the respective genders towards themselves: girls feel that girls who flirt are slutty but guys feel they're confident and attractive, and girls find guys creepy almost full stop XD
And then when a couple gets together, although the man is expected to try keep their girl happy, make cute gestures and compliment her make her happy etc etc that's pretty much cliché since it's just guys trying to fulfil the Prince Charming role. Not saying they shouldn't cuz we girls like that XD But it's always been viewed that the woman is the home maker, its her job to take care of the emotional crap mostly and her job to keep herself in check to be the woman her man wants. Once again, not saying that's not how it should be.