A couple weeks ago I was waiting at the bus stop to go to the airport. A two businessmen were joking around on the bench. I stood nearby, practicing Japanese on my phone.
One of them gave up on the late bus after a while so I started talking to the other one. He was friendly and a good conversationalist. Fifteen minutes into the conversation he casually and without shame mentioned that he was homeless.
Man. I was way off on that one, I thought.
The bus finally came and brought us to the airport. Backpack strapped to my back I ran across the arrivals lanes, up the escalator, across the lobby, and through security. Time from bus to gate? Seven minutes.
In the middle seat next to me was a non white woman. I assumed she was poor based on her ethnicity and the way she was dressed. She pulled out an ipod. Those poor people, always buying these that they can't afford.
An hour into the flight she opens up her year or two old apple laptop. There's a picture of the Golden Temple of Kyoto on her desktop. It looks like it might be a snapshot.
"Hey, I don't mean to be spying on you, but have you been to the Golden Temple?"
"Oh, no. My daughter is learning Japanese and she put it there."
I turn my screen to her to show her that I'm learning Japanese too. For the next half hour or so we have one of the most pleasant airplane chats I've ever been part of. She warm and friendly. Her daughter goes to a private school and is learning Japanese in the fifth grade. Amazing.
Thats zero for two on judging people that day.
I won't stop judging people. I don't know if that's possible or even a totally good thing. But I will be putting a lot less faith in my judgements,that's for sure.
You can never stop judging people its in our biological makeup. But how you act on these judgements is what really counts.
You can counteract this initial judgement by ignoring it and treating that individual as you would anyone else.
Treat others how you want to be treated and life will be so much better.
To dissolve the prejudice is to make a conservation. For awhile, I made a prejudice. When we chat, it was the day I change and I realized I made a bad thoughts and wasted those gems we could enjoy.
Move on and forth, there will be no judgment.
And other thought, I don't enjoy when people judge me without constructive or ask me before they made an assumption. So, in return, I will do the same thing because I know know wha it feel like.
The best learning experience you can get is from talking to someone you don't know.
The world will be a better place when we get out of our comfort zone and explore a new entity.
I'm consistently amazed at how wrong I am in judging people.
Heck...I hate to think what people think about me or my family on first sight!
What a great lesson. I find that being able to judge situations is a good thing. Judging people, is maybe not so good. Usually for me it comes down to - what is it that informs a judgement the most? Is it more heavily weighted by an objective understanding of the situation at hand, or is it more heavily weighted by my own baggage? All too often I come to the conclusion that the weight of my own baggage causes my judgements to say more about me than about the subject I'm supposedly judging. As a tool for reflection that's okay. Unfortunately the whole process has side effects that go beyond just me though, and usually that's a pile of wreckage I'd rather not leave behind me if I can avoid it.
probably it's impossible to stop judging,but just as you said it's vital to not to listen to your first impression judgements, or at least be able to revise them, when you get to know somebody. and of course it should never stop you from meeting people.
I woke up on Friday in an incredible amount of pain. My ankle, which I injured the night before during a particularly vigorous game of trampoline-dodgeball, had swollen the point that it looked like a bruised potato with toes dangling off.
Even the slight pressure of my blankets sent rushes of pain through my foot. I tried to get out of bed, failed amid a cloud of expletives, and got back in bed where I tried to fight off the pain by gritting my teeth and growling.
This was the day I was supposed to go to Tokyo by way of Beijing, where I had a twenty-four hour layover. As much as I had been looking forward to this trip, it occurred to me that I might not be physically capable of making it to the airport.
Words can hurt faster than they can heal.
People say things often in the heat of the moment which would have been best left unsaid. Some things, just cannot be "unsaid".
Over the course of ten minutes, I had four talks with my children regarding how they use their words and what sort of affect they can have on people. One conversation was about speaking to each other respectfully. Another was about embellishing the truth. The last two, were probably the most important and related specifically to an interaction between my daughter and my son.
My son told one of my daughters secrets. He didn't do it to be malicious, but the betrayal was definitely felt by my daughter. Because of that, her words and actions towards him were embittered. He's a pretty sensitive kid, so her tongue lashing really hit home.
I had an opportunity to talk to them both about trust. But specifically about how their actions and what they say can engender different kinds of trust. My daughter now knows that she can trust my son to reveal her secrets if she shares them with him. My son can trust that my daughters wrath will quickly follow if she shares her secrets.