A couple weeks ago I was waiting at the bus stop to go to the airport. A two businessmen were joking around on the bench. I stood nearby, practicing Japanese on my phone.
One of them gave up on the late bus after a while so I started talking to the other one. He was friendly and a good conversationalist. Fifteen minutes into the conversation he casually and without shame mentioned that he was homeless.
Man. I was way off on that one, I thought.
The bus finally came and brought us to the airport. Backpack strapped to my back I ran across the arrivals lanes, up the escalator, across the lobby, and through security. Time from bus to gate? Seven minutes.
In the middle seat next to me was a non white woman. I assumed she was poor based on her ethnicity and the way she was dressed. She pulled out an ipod. Those poor people, always buying these that they can't afford.
An hour into the flight she opens up her year or two old apple laptop. There's a picture of the Golden Temple of Kyoto on her desktop. It looks like it might be a snapshot.
"Hey, I don't mean to be spying on you, but have you been to the Golden Temple?"
"Oh, no. My daughter is learning Japanese and she put it there."
I turn my screen to her to show her that I'm learning Japanese too. For the next half hour or so we have one of the most pleasant airplane chats I've ever been part of. She warm and friendly. Her daughter goes to a private school and is learning Japanese in the fifth grade. Amazing.
Thats zero for two on judging people that day.
I won't stop judging people. I don't know if that's possible or even a totally good thing. But I will be putting a lot less faith in my judgements,that's for sure.
You can never stop judging people its in our biological makeup. But how you act on these judgements is what really counts.
You can counteract this initial judgement by ignoring it and treating that individual as you would anyone else.
Treat others how you want to be treated and life will be so much better.
To dissolve the prejudice is to make a conservation. For awhile, I made a prejudice. When we chat, it was the day I change and I realized I made a bad thoughts and wasted those gems we could enjoy.
Move on and forth, there will be no judgment.
And other thought, I don't enjoy when people judge me without constructive or ask me before they made an assumption. So, in return, I will do the same thing because I know know wha it feel like.
The best learning experience you can get is from talking to someone you don't know.
The world will be a better place when we get out of our comfort zone and explore a new entity.
I'm consistently amazed at how wrong I am in judging people.
Heck...I hate to think what people think about me or my family on first sight!
What a great lesson. I find that being able to judge situations is a good thing. Judging people, is maybe not so good. Usually for me it comes down to - what is it that informs a judgement the most? Is it more heavily weighted by an objective understanding of the situation at hand, or is it more heavily weighted by my own baggage? All too often I come to the conclusion that the weight of my own baggage causes my judgements to say more about me than about the subject I'm supposedly judging. As a tool for reflection that's okay. Unfortunately the whole process has side effects that go beyond just me though, and usually that's a pile of wreckage I'd rather not leave behind me if I can avoid it.
probably it's impossible to stop judging,but just as you said it's vital to not to listen to your first impression judgements, or at least be able to revise them, when you get to know somebody. and of course it should never stop you from meeting people.
A few weeks prior I was at an airport, desperate for something to eat. I got a poor quality sandwich at an above average price. I paid, and it served its purpose: to make me stop feeling starving.
When I visited Haiti I was staying with a couch surfer. My bus arrived just as dark was rolling in. I had my host's phone number, but I didn't have a usable phone. I was the only tourist on the bus (meaning the only white person), and I hadn't heard anyone else speak English. A cabbie spoke in broken English to get me to ride in his cab.
"Can I use your phone?"
Jesus sits in the temple, watching people put money in the offering boxes. Then, a poor widow puts in a couple pennies and he praises her for it. He says that she has given more than anyone else has because she gave out of her poverty.
The widow is poor because no one is taking care of her. She probably doesn't have a family or many friends. She might be marginalized in society. She has nothing. She has no prospects. Her future is bleak. She's desperate, and she gives out of her desperation.
I think we have a tendency to give from our excess. A little extra change, a spare bedroom, old clothes. I was watching a TED Talk of Amanda Palmer, a famous musician, and she talked about a time when a poor hispanic family opened up their home to her and her band. They gave up their own beds and slept on the floor so that their guests would have a place to sleep. They taught the band how to make tortillas the next day, gave them bibles, and said thank you to them. Amanda was so overwhelmed by this reception.
The family didn't give of their excess. They gave up all that they had. They gave up what they needed.
Whether literal or figurative, what do you desperately need?