Our dorm building had a square footprint. In the very middle were three elevators serving the dorm rooms which were all positioned along the edges of the building. In between the elevators and the rooms was a square hallway that ran in a loop.
This was to be our arena for Golf Darts, a sport we invented to aid our more scholarly pursuit - procrastination.
On one door we set up a target. The goal was to go around the hallway, arrive back at the target and hit it.
Darts were thrown at walls. Hitting the same wall twice in a row incurred a two stroke penalty. So did hitting the water (the floor).
The game was fun, but the most fun part may have been the danger we brought to the floor. As we went around the hallway people would exit their dorms only to be greeted by darts whizzing past their faces.
Most of them would be intrigued by the spectacle and would follow the ever growing pack of spectators following us around the circuit.
The one problem was the doors. At the end of each side of the square hallway was a door, which became a popular target. After playing for an hour or two they had become littered with holes concentrated in one area. It looked really bad.
Terry pounded a long shot into a wall. He missed the door, but also avoided the dreaded carpet by half a foot. He continued down the hall and I wound up to throw.
Just as I was about to release the dart, the door to the stairwell in front of me opened up. It was our RA.
She looked at me, and then at the crowd behind me.
"Tynan... what are you doing?"
"Oh... just hanging out."
She gave me a suspicious look. My poker face wasn't all that convincing.
".... and playing golf darts."
She turned around and saw Terry's dart stuck in the wall. I looked behind me because no one else seemed to be chiming in. They were gone, hiding in dorm rooms. I wanted to escape too, but it was too late.
She took the dart, shook her head, and started to leave when something else caught her eye.
The door full of dart holes.
"Oh no. This is too much. I try to be cool with you guys and cut you some slack, but you have destroyed the door. I have to write you up. I have no choice."
We didn't want to face the wrath of the building manager again. He had recently forced us to take down a porch light we installed in the hallway as well as a large brass knocker on our door. To try to remedy the situation I set up a meeting with him, which ended with him standing over his desk, face beet red, yelling at me.
And that wasn't our only encounter. He had also confiscated my lock picking gun earlier, and refused to return it.
So we did what any unreasonable group of college kids would do. We chipped off a corner of the door and headed to home depot.
We used the corner of the door to match the color of the paint. We bought rollers, tape, putty and a putty knife.
The work took longer than we expected, but maybe that shouldn't come as a huge surprise since none of us had ever repaired a door. By the end the two doors we painted actually looked better than they did before we destroyed them.
Our RA was equally impressed.
"Oh my god! I can't believe what a good job you guys did. I went into the RA office and tore up the report I wrote about you."
Ah, this reminds me of my dorm days and playing roller chair destroy derby. We would tie a roller chair to my bicycle with about 8 feet of rope, and the winner was the one who could stay on the longest. This proved very hard once I realized I could turn close to the dorm walls slingshotting people into them. Bruises make for good stories. Needless to say my RA was not pleased when he finally figured out where all the skidmarks on the carpet were coming from.
I like these type of stories! To me, this is how I would make my life better. Fun stuff like this is hard to find.
Brilliant! I want to play that now. Good job with the quick cover-up too. I've had to perform a few of those in my time too.
I'd driven by dozens of times and never noticed it. Tucked away from the main parking lot, vines had begun to cover the corners of the building. Pieces of sheet metal were hanging from what once might have been a modern looking building.
A Wheel of Fortune aficionado may have been able to make sense of the remaining letters on the marquee. It probably said "Home Alone", "Kindergarten Cop", and "House Party" or some other movies from 1990.
That's when the movie theater was shut down. It was built on the edge of a hill, and half of it was now a few inches down that hill. The building had cracked apart and been condemned.
Professor James Ellery, Adam, Molly, and Jim left the lecture hall and entered a hallway. It seemed oddly incongruous with the door they had just left, and extended out further than expected. Molly looked around, confused, and picked a door at random to go in. Adam shouted after her “Wait! I don’t think-” but she was through the door and into the other room already. Adam hurried after her. When Professor Ellery took a different turn, Jim started to follow him, then turned around and started to follow Adam and Molly, then turned around again. “Wait! I don’t think she would split up. Something weird is… where did you guys all go?” he shouted, to no response. He turned back in the direction Molly and Adam had gone. A door down the hall that way was swinging in place. Jim hobbled that way and opened the door and passed through.
The portal device had been scanning the skies for a full day at this point. To do this, it had opened a series of small portals, looked through them, shut them down - or at least, it was supposed to - readjusted itself, and repeated the process, each time narrowing in on its target. In the process, the local geometry of the normal, every day world of matter near the portal device, had grown warped. Things had rearranged themselves. Doors led to places they hadn’t before, and it was only through the merciful inability of the human mind to directly observe the world as it is - our senses filter out an enormous amount of information that we could not deal with if we were forced to process it all - that this had not been immediately obvious. The picture painted on the mind by the brain-eye team was one of a building with incongruous rooms, a patchwork collection of places picked up and dropped together from various parts of the local geography - all throughout the University. This was just the closest-to-sane approximation that the human brain could come up with. The truth was something far worse, and utterly incomprehensible. The degree that they did not comprehend it, the wandering students did not suffer.
Adam was beginning to panic. He was increasingly certain that this was not any building he had seen on campus before, and he had started to recognize individual rooms as he ran heedlessly through the maze, searching for Molly. His prized willpower and determination were the only things keeping him from a full panic, and he was uncertain what he would do if he found an exit before he found Molly. He moved headlong through hallway after hallway, a storage room, a student lounge, a room containing fossils, seemingly lifted from the museum, a wing of the library, and then into a corridor containing busts of all the Deans of previous years. He stopped to catch his breath and see if he could recognize anything around him, when lightning struck perilously close by. He jumped in fright, bumped into one of the pedestals carrying a bust, set it to wobbling, and started a chain reaction. The pillars fell, knocking each over like dominoes. He ran around the room, trying to catch them, and when the last one teetered on top of the tallest pedestal behind him, he did not see it, and when it fell, the granite model of the current Dean’s head colliding with his own, it hit him harder than any football player had. His knees buckled and he blinked away stars, trying to retain consciousness.
Molly opened the dark wooden door into a lush greenhouse. Small animals she couldn’t quite see rustled in the undergrowth and the branches overhead. She strode through the garden. She’d known that Miskatonic had a greenhouse, but she hadn’t ever been inside it before. She hadn’t even been sure where it was. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that its location didn’t make much sense, architecturally. The great glass wall seemed like it butted up against where another room was, if she remembered the layout of the hall correctly. Either that or there was a door in the hall which didn’t lead anywhere. But whatever, she wasn’t going to question it, she was just enjoying the warmth and foliage. And if she got to play with the squirrels she could hear moving about, then all the better. She loved small, dumb animals - she joked that was why she liked Adam so much. She spent some time admiring the trees before realizing that she was alone in the room. “Adam? Jim? Professor Ellery? Er, sorry, James?” she called out, but got no response. Just then, a thunderous crack of lightning flashed down, just outside the great glass window. She was facing away when it hit, and the light from it poured into all of the nooks and crannies that before had been barely lit by the heat lamps used to keep the greenhouse warm in the winter. She saw, in stark relief, that there were no squirrels in the room, and the things that were there had iridescent, rectangular pupils, and far too many teeth.
Adam woke up with Molly standing over him, her hands on her hips. He had a not unpleasant view of her from this angle, and he was glad she wasn’t quite so “forward thinking” as to wear skirts. “Come on, up you get, dumbo,” she said, reaching down and grabbing his hand. He looked down at the rubble in the hallway and let her help him up. “You’ll have to pay for what you did here,” she said. He was looking down and away from her face while he was standing up, but as she said that, he looked up and into a horribly deformed slab of flesh barely recognizable as a face. The mouth was more vertical than horizontal, perpetually drooling, only one eye was visible, and the nose was very nearly a smear. It tried to smile at him.