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How I Became a Famous Pickup Artist : Part 1

As far as I was concerned, she was perfect. She was at least as smart as I was, was a dancer and had the body to prove it, and had a smile that could disarm the national guard. Let's call her Julie.

So, like an earthworm stalking it's prey, I put my usual game on her. Since my last flowchart was so popular, I've made another one to show you how I dealt with the ladies back then:

Nedless to say, things went slowly. We hung out nearly every day for the last couple months of our Senior year summer vacation. Like many guys, I was totally oblivious to her attraction for me. One morning Julie came over really early while I was still sleeping, and squeezed into my twin bed with me. I woke up, and assumed that she must be tired - it didn't even occur to me that she might like me. Finally on the last week of that vacation she said to me,

Sharing EVE with my significant other.

On Pod Born

So, I've been mostly single for some time now, and just recently I started seriously seeing a girl. This is relevant because up until we became serious I never really gave much thought to explaining or defending my nightly activities of playing EVE and being on comms with friends. It's just what I do, and I'll be honest that most of the time I'm a half naked lump sitting on my office chair whose seat pad is full to the brim of fart dust. Now I'm suddenly dating someone and I find myself wondering... "Is it OK if I play EVE right now?"

This self-questioning inevitably spirals onward because why would I ever deny myself something that I enjoy because of another person. I enjoy this person, so shouldn't they enjoy that I enjoy what I enjoy? Maybe there's something she enjoys that she's not enjoying because she's worried that I wont understand her joy. Clearly, this becomes exhausting and before long I'm too tired to do much else and we do other things.

I love this girl. She's a good one. We have fun, and I don't resent her at all for the obvious disruption in my EVE schedule that's taken place. Truth is I still play, but when she goes to sleep. Nothing is lost. But what's important to me is really just getting it out there that there's something else that I spend ample time with.

So, this is easy, right? Just tell her. But if I tell her, when do I tell her? During lunch? Dinner is for talking about your day, complaining about your job and talking about spaceships, right? No, that doesn't feel right. Lunch maybe sounds better. But we both work, so lunch wont work. Maybe in the morning when we wake up and we're laying in bed. That's perfect. She's comfortable, she's rested and at 6:30 in the morning there's not much sun light coming in through the blinds to cast distracting shadows on the wall while I'm talking about spaceships. But that just might be too early, I thought.

Then I had an idea to plan a date night completely revolving around the idea of just casually bringing up EVE to her at some perfect point. I'd set the kitchen counter all nice with our plastic cutlery and paper plates that do match. I'd put on some music. She'd absolutely love her favorite dish that I'd make for dinner. I'd wash and wear my one polo shirt that I own, and then nothing says I love you and want to share spaceships with you like picking fresh flowers from your neighbor's garden.

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